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Posts posted by Judge Roybeanbag
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9 hours ago, Anastasis said:
How many crayons did you eat today?
I had only 3.
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Maybe he’ll drift off and choke on his tongue.
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Bound to be some surly lawyer that can class action this, right?
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Why are any of you stupid motherfuckers lifting anything you don’t have to, at your age? Make someone else do it, or pay someone else to do it. I mean, I have to lift stuff like rearranging furniture, or other cuck things a husband has to do, but at 60 my whole MO is avoiding hard work and unnecessary injury. I must just be lazy.
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Apparently an MRI for your prostate is a 'special' procedure and I'm having a hard time finding a location to schedule one in a timely manner. They must know I'm a giant asshole and need a bigger machine or something.
Seriously though - I've checked 3 different places on recommendation of my Dr. and they all said 'oh we only do that procedure at x facility, and that would be mid-May at earliest. Like Longhorn Imaging for example, I'd have to drive to San Antonio. Touchstone only does it at their far North Austin facility.
What's so different about it aside from the dye?
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4 hours ago, Brian Fantana said:
He means you should go to your pastor instead of your doctor. It's the default evangelical position.
Well yeah, cuz getting molested or fleeced makes all your other problems seem minor in comparison.
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38 minutes ago, landman said:
With Travis down, why doesn't LCRA do some excavation to add capacity for the future. Seems like the prudent thing to do in case we ever do get enough rain to fill it back up.
If you mean excavating most of Cedar Park, Leander and Lago Vista, that might help. Otherwise not so much.
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2 hours ago, Ben Tobin said:
Were kids in the 70s frequently sick or dying from unknown reasons that we just didn’t talk about? In twelve years with hundreds of kids, I can’t recall even a single mention of nut allergies. No warnings at school, no BOLOs at Halloween, not a peep. What the fuck happened?
Your parents were weak defective individuals. That's why we have peanut allergies and wokeness. I assign blame to everyone except me, personally. BTW this wasn't a personal attack, I'm sure your parents were fine, strict mormon vegans who never partook.
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So he went to shit... pigs ate him, and he went to shit again.
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On 4/5/2024 at 4:24 PM, irishtexan said:
What's more fun, if you're the driver, is to crack the passengers window, apply the parental lock, and then fart, slowly pulling the noxious gas your passengers way, And there's nothing he/she can do about it.
I did this to my son and his friends in the backseat numerous times. Lock windows, turn heat on high/recirculate and let it rip.
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4 minutes ago, Armybrat said:My oldest grandson attended elementary school in LTISD 20 years ago.
He was bullied constantly by some assholes because he had a pronounced drop foot limp caused by his cerebral palsy.
Life improved considerably when he started going to RRISD schools.I went to school with a girl who had a limp from polio, and had a special shoe. Her go-to move when anyone made fun of her was to take that special shoe foot, and stomp the shit out of the offender's toes. She was a tough kid. Played tackle football with us sometimes.
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3 hours ago, Gatorubet said:
Raining like a double bladder cow in Nola with some street flooding.
I also got an 80 mph wind advisory on my phone from some nearby thunderstorm
Still not enough to wash the vomit off the street!
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7 hours ago, bolverk said:
I'm out of town. How did things fare in the Cherry Creek area of South Austin?
Some pea sized hail for a bit, high winds and about an inch of rain overnight. Doubt anything got damaged.
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3 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:
To be fair, there are probably a lot of grown ass Americans who’d spell it that way.I waffled on whether I should make that the point or not.
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8 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:
This is how you know he’s a spy - having an American flag and the national anthem written down completely gave it away, because that’s a part of what spies are given when they go undercover.
They spelt it “haild”.
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Well I'm driving down the Ranch Road,
Carrying quite the heavy load
Dodging spandex cowboys
On their pedal powered toysWhen I crest over the hilltop,
Down below there's quite a flip flop
The Hill country’s become rather mild
There's a rapey fucking peacock going wild.Sing that in your Willie voice.
Long live the peacock,
He's as loud as a Texas stuffed sock
Proclaiming he's as Texas as can be
Truth is he's a fraud
Money is his God
His plumage is meant to fool you and meBut fool me once,
Fool me twice
I hear 49 states are quite as nice
You'll catch me on the outside
Watching that peacock chase the ride.Fuck that peacock.
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It’s a crazy world. Peacocks running down the highway. I had to write a quick tune.
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3 minutes ago, PilotsError said:
you ok?No, not OK, I’m in Texas.
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20 minutes ago, Herbie Hancock said:
I’ve seen more Kaisersoze posts in this thread than I’ve seen in the last five years combined.
I was try to remember when KS and Derka had a thing. No joy in my memory. Hell not much joy anywhere else either.
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10 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:
Now I have to go buy Helter-Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi again.
I just want someone else, to get me through this; semicolon kind of life. Baby.
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9 minutes ago, shadow_operative said:
imagine that your direct supervisor at your job tells you that you and one of your coworkers are going to be competing for a promotion, and that the winner of said promotion would be whoever made the most sales.
you continue to come into work every single day with your head down, consistently doing your job and making sales. meanwhile, your coworker has stopped coming into work altogether, other than to take his morning dump and steal the newspaper on his way back out the door. your direct supervisor is now repeatedly reprimanding your coworker for this frankly unbelievable behavior while you continue to do your job every day making sales.
they day of the promotion comes, you are excited to receive the promotion, when suddenly, your boss’s boss- a man who has gone out of his way to be a total POS to you on multiple occasions, a man who wears his personal hatred of you with pride- shows up and says, “your coworker is getting the promotion, and i have some new rules for you to follow, and if you don’t follow these new rules you’re fired.” are you seriously trying to tell me that you would just take all of this stride, shrug your shoulders, and accept it as if it was just some totally reasonable and simple request? i don’t think so. not even a little bit.
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6 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:
JFC
You leave juicy fried chicken out of this!
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4F? More like 10 F’s !
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11 hours ago, NorthLoop said:
Dude that's obviously Owen Wilson.
I thought it was Frank Stallone, but didn’t want to put out the @YGIFS bat signal.
Ukraine War
in Cloak Room
Posted
Mode V or gtfo.