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ImissWallyPryor

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by ImissWallyPryor

  1. 7 hours ago, Celery Man said:

    Has anyone else mentioned to their woman that... not that they would, but definitely don't call the police on people who are just annoying you, especially if they're black?

    I keep waiting for one of these things to happen and the husband to come forward and say "Hey, this isn't racism - she frivolously calls the cops on people who bother her of all colors, without discrimination."

    That would never make the news story. My next door neighbor in Dallas wrote for the DMN. My wife and I told him about an old Hispanic man we helped out who was attacked near Columbia Avenue by a gang of white kids and ended up with a broken elbow. He was very interested until I told him that he must have misunderstood me. The old man was white and the kids were Hispanic. No longer interested. 

  2. On 7/10/2018 at 10:04 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

    Nothing wrong with that. That's like being the designated popper of bubble wrap. 

    Oh, and I like nothing better than finding a trash bag full of mostly unpopped bubble wrap (the kind with larger pillow-shaped bubbles).

  3. On 7/10/2018 at 7:25 AM, HornOnTheBayou said:

    The idea of breaking down a box before putting it in the trash is foreign to my wife.

    My wife makes the most pitiful half-hearted attempt to crush empty gallon milk jugs. The only reason I know she tried is because there is a slight indentation in one side. That’s it. Forget about breaking down a box. 

  4. 16 minutes ago, woohorn said:

    What's the home invasion twist?

    She is living in Shady's house post breakup and the claim is that he broke in and beat her up trying to make it look like a home invasion?

    Or is the home invasion a fake cover story made up by a battered woman so that he wouldn't get in trouble? Or neither?

    Yes

    • Haha 1
  5. 4 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

    That's you're fucking epidemic.  I seriously think that over 50% of the people on TV screw that up.  

    Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your adverbs here...

     

    your

    jk  I misspelled personal in my first post, even though I was trying to be careful. 

  6. On 7/1/2018 at 4:04 PM, utee94 said:

    Three teams in the final top 25 from the state of Texas. None of them reside in College Station.

    Boycott.

    And only 2 teams each from California and Florida. It shows how far college baseball has come in recent decades. 

  7. 14 hours ago, mr. sunshine said:

    Hmm. CDC in black and white checks and Herman in gray on picture day. This is eerily reminiscent of the school picture day episode of Leave it to Beaver

    I also see 3 red or pink (faded red?) shirts. You’d think we could pay our coaches enough for them to buy proper fan gear. 

  8. Glancing at this thread, I didn’t notice these:

    • The misuse of the reflexive pronouns like himself, herself and (especially) myself in place of personal pronouns.  It’s a fucking epidemic out there  

    • General personsl pronoun confusion. “Me and Reveille....” 

    • Not using the ly suffix on adverbs. “That aggy speaks slow.”

  9. On 6/23/2018 at 9:05 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

    Lets get the bad out of the way:

    were the second most popular team in Iowa, despite being the largest university, and being the university who's mission is most aligned with what drives our state.  This has created the typical Ag school inferiority complex amongst a large percentage of our fanbase.  We frequently jab at Iowa fans for not going to Iowa and shit like that.  But we're nowhere near Aggy in terms of being obsessed with the other school.  We also don't jerk off into Mason jars, beat women, create non-sense language, or fuck sheep.

    We also have a total conspiracy theory/martyr mind set.  Our history is littered with "shoulda woulda coulda" moments that featured controversial officiating.  We nearly lost our existence as an athletic department during the 2010-11 conference realignment because of a bunch of cunt schools.  Iowans in general have a mindset that the rest of the country doesn't appreciate us, and all of that bleeds into our fans' savagely booing the officials, regardless of whether the call wasn't correct.  The worst things I've publicly uttered were directed at refs during Iowa State games.  Ive noticed a lot of other fanbases, particularly KU basketball fans, hating this about us.

    The Manhattan Project happened at Iowa State as well, so I think that explains a lot of the shit luck.

     

    The good:

    We're one of the top Ag schools in the country.  Our most similar fanbases/schools are KSU and OK State, but we bury both of them academically.  We were the first school created by the Morril Act.  The university predates Ames, and at the time it was built, it wasn't literally two buildings in the middle of nowhere out on the prairie.  George Washington Carver did most of his peanut research in Ames.  The guy who designed Central Park designed our campus, and it's frequently regarded as one of the most beautiful in the country.  Ames is a typical Midwestern college town.  It's pastoral, clean, and well maintained.  It frequently makes "best places to live" lists, but is also frequently knocked as boring despite having some great bars, restaurants, and cultural venues.

    ISU is distinctly Iowan.  70% of students are Iowa natives, and frequently small town kids.  More of our alumni stay in state after graduation than any other school.  Our mission is making Iowa a better place, and we take it seriously.  Its this sense of pride that drives our notorious loyalty.  That and our Rodney Dangerfield complex.  We pack Jack Trice and Hilton because we love ISU, and we really believe we can impact the outcome. That and the party is a good time.

    Our tailgate scene is fucking wild.  It is a celebration of everything ISU.  We like to drink.  A lot.  It's ingrained in the culture of the upper Midwest.  Most Iowans claim German, Czech, or Irish backgrounds, which means booze has been bred into us for years.  We've been known to drink bars in Kansas City (and Memphis this year) dry.  It also makes us a friendly lot.  Because we feel that outsiders have either a negative opinion of Iowa, or don't even realize we exist, we go all out to make a good impression.  If you've been to a game in Ames, you know what I mean.

    We aren't much for silly traditions, because we've had pragmatism beaten into us for a century, but the one tradition that we really take pride in is the legacy of Jack Trice.  If you don't know the story, he was our first black athlete, and he played at a time when that wasn't socially accepted.  He was stomped during a fumble pile up while playing Minnesota in 1923.  Presumably due to the color of his skin.  He died of those injuries a few days later.  Jack was a hell of an athlete, a great student, and the definition of a self made man.  He was a true bad ass motherfucker.  To this day, the stadium is the only one in FBS football named after a black man.

    Loyalty, a little inferiority complex, and a lot of booze.  Every yard for ISU.

    +rep 

    Excellent self-analysis. Your second paragraph describes what my son says about living around a lot of ISU and NU fans. The NU fans irrationally blame Texas for their failings and worship Tom Osborne to a fault, while the ISU fans think the whole world is conspiring against them.  It makes talking sports difficult.

    And no, you’re nothing like aggy. 

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