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Everything posted by closetojumping
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
kevwun is correct. Also, Brian Perroni illegitimately took the story and repurposed it for Clear Lake and him observing it from the stands. We were all in the same district at the time. I saw him post it, more blandly but basically the same. Called him on it and rather than own the plagiarism and apologize, he dug in and offered that maybe it happened in two different games. Uh, no dipshit, you’ve just been reading the boards long enough that you adopted it because you remember seeing your team get pummeled by G-Ball with Hampton doing work. -
Why Ohio State Stomps a Mudhole In Texas' Ass
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
It’s kind of unbelievable how little chance any talking head anywhere is giving Texas. I listen all year and usually some of these guys will hedge or hem and haw, but that’s not happening with this game. It’s at the point where Texas is being completely dismissed. It does remind me of the Rose Bowl against USC.- 176 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
I've told it before, numerous times, but fuck it, it's been awhile. My sophomore and junior years, we played G-Ball in Galveston. The police escort would pick us up at the Causeway and bring us to the barbed-wire protected stadium. Each year, we were GBall's homecoming. You walk off the bus and angry fans are throwing food and drink at us, 2 hours before the game, and they're taunting us with "little ass whiteboys!!" and "dirty ass mexicans!" as we scrambled for the locker room. Just before kickoff, regrouped in the shitty locker room underneath the north end zone bleachers, we're getting the pep talk from the HC when the ceiling starts dropping paint and dust as the whole building shakes. "Oooo, Ahhh, G-Ball High! ... Ussay Aussay, the G-Ball Posse!! <boom boom bah, boom boom bah> G-Balllllllllllll, Hey Hey, G-Ball Hiiiiiiiiiiigh!!!>" I'm 15 and these guys have had 7 points scored on them in 6 games and they're ranked #4 in the fucking state. It was somewhat intimidating. We come running out of the tunnel, then get blocked by the band. Immediately nachos and cokes are raining down on us. They didn't chalk the field. They painted it. You get tackled on the lines or a hash and skin is getting torn off. Like landing on concrete. I caught a pass in the flats and some All State dumbass who couldn't score 700 on the SAT named Rodney Artmore hit me like a fucking bus. We scored 3 points in two seasons against them on their turf. My senior year, our coach brilliantly decides that they'll be our homecoming game. While I was having a good game individually and likely getting concussed by Cephus Scott (KSU) on passes over the middle, we as a team are getting absolutely pummeled. Their defensive line is mowing through our OL like a hot knife through butter. At some point in the second half, a commotion is going on in the sugar huddle. I walk over from the outside and think "what in the fuck is going on?" The center, a good friend of mine but also a pussy, is crying/bawling inside his helmet. Truly red-faced and crying. The other guys are talking shit to him about getting it together. "You guys don't understand!! This guy is a fucking animal. He's beating the shit out of me!! It's like being in a goddamned street fight!" I walk off. "Christ." The literal next play, the DT grabs our center and hurls him into our QB while the QB is dropping back and is sacked by his center. I laughed inside as I was also embarrassed. The DT for G-Ball? A freshman or sophomore Casey Hampton.- 8959 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Do you honestly think we didn't know that?!... We didn't do this on purpose! -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
That's a pretty big one. -
Why Ohio State Stomps a Mudhole In Texas' Ass
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in Football
No. I've written one before. 19 years ago.- 176 replies
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Well, it's been a good run during the 2024 CFB season for Texas. A year of mostly highs, with only a shitty home game versus GA and an OT loss to GA standing in the way of what's been perfect. I'm thankful for the memories and experiences, personally. Unfortunately, all of that comes to an end this weekend on Friday night in the bowels of the DFW metroplex. Watching this season die at the stale, beer-soaked, cheese curd-smelling fat fingers of the sweating, mouthbreathing giant Ohio State football team is an inevitability. It's going to be demoralizing to witness, but we should continue to hold our heads high irrespective as Texas fans. "But closetojumping, this same Ohio State team lost less than 6 weeks ago to a mediocre Michigan team at home. We blew those same assholes out, while they still had Will Johnson, in Ann Arbor even, earlier this year!" I realize that Texas and Ohio State have actually played the same opponent this year and the results might be revealing in some ways, but that is apparently irrelevant to the current situation. I've yet to hear or read any analysis in the public domain of that situation mattering. Apparently both rosters have completely turned over and it no longer matters. Or maybe the notion is that Ohio State takes pleasure in getting publicly buttfucked every year by their arch nemesis, but will not play the bottom in any other match-up. I don't know, but I've been told that we've got to throw it all out. I wish Texas would petition to play OSU this weekend in their famous alt-unis colored maize and blue, but they're apparently not doing that. "But CTJ, Will Howard has the tendency to become a turnover machine in big games and he's never beaten Texas!?" I get it. I realize that Will Howard appears to be a spare to Texas fans as we've watched him on numerous occasions attempt to lose ball games on his own at KSU and even this year against Oregon and Michigan. However, Texas fans are the fucking blind morons here. The fatass, jort-wearing, gravy-splattered experts from the Ohio State fanbase and the talking heads in the media have seen a different Will Howard. Things have gotten so distorted compared to what we've experienced that draft ranking services now have Howard listed above Ewers on the boards. So, yeah, we're the idiots here, folks. There's simply no way to envision a scenario in which one of the nation's leading turnover defenses could force a turnover prone QB with a history of choking under pressure to go on a turnover spree. Bucknuts has convinced me so. "closetojumping, this Ohio State OL has lost 3 OLs, is playing true freshman, playing their star guard at OT, and barely fields a two deep. Texas has one of the best front 7's in all of college football with elite LBs, OLBs/Edges, and DTs. Ohio State hasn't faced a front like this all year!" I'm sorry to inform you guys, but none of that matters. Ohio State is hot! They've got the hot hand and those OL have magically transformed from their November embarrassments to looking like a Joe Moore trophy-winning unit. Plus, Ohio State has the aforementioned Will Howard, who has obviously turned a corner in his play, and has like 5 or more elite skill players guaranteed to go to the NFL in Henderson, Judkins, Egbuka, Tate, and, of course, Jeremiah Smith. Texas can try to play sound gap integrity on the early downs while bracketing Smith all they want, this OL is apparently too robust. "Texas has elite skill guys, a Joe Moore finalist OL group, and a resurgent Quinn Ewers, who always shows his best in big games on the road, ctj. Ohio State's D doesn't know what's coming!" Listen, by all national accounts and according to the room temp IQ wizards at Eleven Warriors, the Ohio State defense has "elite" players at every level of the defense. Ohio State sports multiple potential 1st rounders (whenever they're eligible to declare) on defense, for sure. JT Tuimoloua is a projected early round guy and he's usually a terror about twice a season. Maybe he shows up against Texas and does something? We'll let Kelvin Banks figure that out, I guess. The guy has been playing lately for a contract, but he was irrelevant against Michigan and Oregon the first time. Tyleik Williams is well regarded inside but he's got all of 12 tackles on the year. Jack Sawyer can prevent an opponent's flag from being planted at the 50 yard line like a motherfucker, and no one can talk more Ohio State meatheaded shit than this blowhard, so maybe that leads to something game-changing on Friday? Denzel Burke has blown harder this year than a meth-ed out OSU sorority girl, but maybe he can hang with Matthew Golden unlike anyone else this season. Sonny Stiles has run past more tackles this season than Danny Stutsman, but I've heard he's also super good. Caleb Downs is actually the real deal, so hopefully Ewers is decisive in the pocket this week. The rest of the secondary has been beaten more this season than Zach Smith's wife, but never mind that. I realize that even the adjusted stats love the OSU defense. That said, don't look at who they've played in posting the numbers they've posted. Don't consider that IU was a paper tiger or that Oregon did what they wanted in the first game, or that PSU pissed down its leg when it saw the Scarlet and Grey or that they played no one else worth a fuck on offense all year. No, those things don't matter, their defense is an unrivaled beast and the Texas offense stands no chance. "Fine. We get it, closetojumping, you're giving us no shot. But what about Ryan Day folding in big games as though he's being grilled under a heat lamp by suspecting police officers of his role in numerous pedophile rings?" I realize that Ryan Day appears to be a violently aggressive groomer of catamites and that he probably feeds off the blood of small children to maintain a solid coif and a 68-10 career record, but you can't argue with success. I don't care if the guy had his pants pulled down on national tv by Steve Sarkisian in the 2020 title game. Day going into the fetal position and sucking his thumb while crying for mommy against Michigan shouldn't matter to us. The guy is 4-4 in the postseason with the wins coming against: -a Utah team that lost their QB to a devastating knee injury early in the game -a good Clemson team in 2020 -a 2024 coelenterate in Tennessee -a revenge game against Oregon in 2024 I don't know, maybe he's able to find something new to fire up his team this week against the underdog Longhorns. There's no way that Texas will find motivation from being counted out all week and being told they have no chance. Hell, I don't think they've got a chance myself, and I know I'm notoriously one of Longhorn netdom's biggest Pollyannas. So give me Ohio State in a runaway, 55-14. Thoughts? Hook'em
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Those connections in Lubbock are going to pay off big time. It's an associate personnel position. If he was hired at Texas, I'd think "huh, okay, let's see how it goes." So I wouldn't place it firmly in the "good hire" column and more in the "show me" column, akin to where many of us put Baker. In that same light, there were bigger names to hire, depending upon what they are going to ask of the position. With ATM being trapped in the recruitocosm, they should always be looking at guys with big time connections in places like Houston, NOLA, Atlanta, DFW and Memphis before anyone else with a high school coaching background. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Unless Campbell is getting really bad advice, he's coming back, as is Hutson. We can debate their productivity, but not their experience. Flood has espoused a point of view that it is best to build from within on the OL. Bringing in portal guys who are questionably comparable to existing talent is a recipe for destabilizing the OL room. I'm not saying they'd never do it, I'm just saying with certainty that that has been what Flood has been preaching from the jump.- 8959 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Look, mommy, the rhino is getting too close to the car! I don't want to interrupt your Mack Brown hate in any big way, but you're confusing that quote with Mack Brown when Dodds was the idiot who said it in 2013. -
Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
That's a totally subjective position, but, hey, aren't they all. My subjective view is that the dude has shown a ton to support that he could turn into a dominant coach in CFB if he sticks at ASU. My reasons for that are what he's already done, his pedigree, his background with the university and city, the commitment to the program from the university and fanbase, the weakness at the top of a winnable conference, and the access to talent at both the HS and portal levels. To the last point, Phoenix produces some talent these days, SoCal, Denver, Vegas, and Texas are in the vicinity, and the area + coeds is attractive to transfers looking for a change of scenery. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Never let facts get in the way of BO&W rubbing his vagina.- 8959 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
FWIW, as of now, Hills isn't viewed as being a viable regular next year. They like him as a solid rotational guy in the later years and they like him as a player and guy, so we should expect they're going to do the work to hang on to him if they can, and I would assume use Broughton as an analog as they continue to sell the big picture. It's probably foolish on our end to expect much from any of the true freshmen. Maybe Terry simply can't be held back or something, but DT is a motherfucker at the Big 2 level for a true freshman.- 8959 replies
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
How many major conference championships have either one of those guys won? How many CFP visits? Countering your other dum dum positions on this, what's invalidating about being another Matt Campbell? I don't like the guy, at all, and I think he's a choker. That said, he's winning at a place that has been borderline impossible to win at, and he's had his teams borderline elite at times, including 2020 and 2024. Pointing to Campbell as some notion of failure for a young coach is fucking dumb. Also, "the odds are more likely" is a specious bulletin board argument that carries zero weight in a discussion like this. You have no fucking way to calculate odds against infinite variables with any credibility. Work harder at taking your position than trying to build off of that kind of garbage. Finally, Dillingham has done things sooner and at a higher level, at a program with higher fan affinity, fan affluence, and fan size. What an interested and talented coach can accomplish at Arizona State dwarfs what can be accomplished at ISU or Minnesota (this isn't 1960 in the Twin Cities). -
OU Recruiting 2025: Truck Balls and Broken Dreams
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
That looks like a good pickup. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
He's a 2nd or 3rd round pick and might be pushed higher due to scarcity. For reasons you bizarrely cite in regard to staying in college, he should go pro in this cycle. Allegedly, his family still feels the same way. Notre Dame is believed to be the one floating the big offer. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Regarding both the landing of Shaw and the development skills of Baker, I've attached some screenshots from PFF for consideration. Note the yearly growth for each player. I don't view PFF as gospel and, frankly, some of their work on various positions is trash (mostly QB and CB), IMO. That said, it's one services comprehensive POV and interesting to review. Here you go:- 8959 replies
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
No thanks. He’s got shit hands and a shittier attitude.- 8959 replies
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Generally speaking, never fucking root for a coach. Are you related to the person? No? Then get a fucking grip. Texas provides every resource imaginable for coaches to be successful on campus. Win or get the fuck out, you fucking loser. Maybe don’t get into a slapfight with your psycho fiancée or avoid just being generally mediocre at everything you do while embarrassing the entire program and fanbase by bawling about “horns down” on national tv. It’s infuriating. Losing to ATM by 20 in basketball should be considered an instant firing offense. Find your own way back to clean out your fucking office, as the bus is full, dummy. I’ll be cheering for the team the rest of the way, but if this dipshit wins something like 4 games in conference, I will accept the cold comfort that his performance will stick out like a sore thumb among the coaches on campus. They can then fire him without the media calling Texas a big bad meanie.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Regarding the Branch brothers, I’m happy to see them elsewhere and assume that Zach Branch will continue to JAG out like a motherfucker with the idiotic offense at Georgia. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Agreed about Mitchell and Golden. -
On what subject should you be considered Surly's resident expert?
closetojumping replied to TexasHooch's topic in Daily Texan
Maybe humiliation. Just being here regularly evokes that sense of pain for me. -
I don’t have a strong opinion about this QB class other than it looks weak with a bunch of wildcards. Nonetheless, I do find the continued elevation of Jalen Milroe to be perplexing. He just looks like a coach killer. If you’re ever dependent upon that guy to win games against comparable or better talent, good luck.
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