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Darth Tron

Certifiably Surly
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  1. I’m really digging all these shots of the dugout showing Pierce looking confused.
  2. But his name doesn’t rhyme with punter. Dealbreaker for me. Hard pass.
  3. Imagine being on a Texas message board and talking shit about Bobby Layne.
  4. If half the shit we heard about Thompson is true, then that’s even more an indictment of Card. When your competition is Fakey Thompson who shows up late to meetings, doesn’t give a shit, and is constantly missing wide open receivers and losing games, you shouldn’t have much trouble getting the team to rally around you and seize the mantle of team leader. That Card couldn’t emphatically do that speaks to his own deficiencies beyond just looking like a deer in headlights when on the field. Maybe he’s like that off the field, too. In any case, we’re rolling with Ewers. It’s why he was brought in. Card had his shot.
  5. “Off the hands of Marcus Washington” O/U on hearing that this season?
  6. Is this the part of the off-season where we start talking ourselves into believing that we won’t be completely fucked in the ass on television all season long and that our O-line won’t be “THAT BAD”? Because if so I’m here for it. Might as well enjoy a nice fantasy world before the annual assfucking.
  7. He didn’t just shit the bed. He legendarily took one of the grossest shits of all time on national tv. He snuck into his girlfriend’s house, set up a camera, charmed the panties off her, started to try to bang her, and then shat all over her parents’ bed for 2 hours while crying and mumbling about how big his shits are. Then he sat to the side and ate his own shit while some other dude banged his girlfriend in the pile of shit that was on the bed. All on national tv. If he comes back from that epic bedshitting, I along with most people, will be surprised.
  8. I need ‘Nova to go to the title game and then lose to whoever they run into.
  9. What’s the neg threshold for us to go back to wishcasting Arch Manning in burnt orange? Asking for a friend.
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