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troph

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by troph

  1. 1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

    "this one time, at band camp...."

    band ain't like band when we were in school. there are some good looking guys, fit as can be and some cute girls too. that's what happens in a school of 3500-4000.

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  2. 11 minutes ago, immamac said:

    this is the point...

    right, masculinity isn't the problem, lazy masculinity is the problem (so is this stupid fucking alpha male masculinity bullshit).  but you're not paying attention if you think the landscape on what women have to tolerate hasn't changed. It's changed A LOT. Most men adapt because undefeated. but to keep up, average men do have to adapt and up their game now.

    My oldest son has issues. I'd rather not share about them on the internet though.  My youngest is TBD, he's a gamer but he's also straight A's, leader in band, excels in music, and he's ambitious, works out, charming, funny and has cuteAF freckles, dimples and hazel eyes.... so when he decides he wants it, he could be ok. 

  3. 1 minute ago, Sandman said:

    Most of this just sound like incompatibility but neither side wants to admit it.

    My wife and I never argue, because we share the same values. We both agree on what is a "big deal" and what is just bullshit. Neither of us is too fussed about being neat freaks, but we don't live like pigs, either. If the trash needs to go out, we just take it out. My ex-wife would make a scene and act like the sky is falling, but would never take the trash out herself, heaven forbid. Neither my wife nor I have expectations that we require the other to live up to, other than normal shit like don't be an asshole. She can eat crackers in bed and I don't bat an eye. I can rip ass in the living room and she laughs instead of acting like I killed a child.

    We like doing activities together, like going to estate sales, or playing at Top Golf and shit. But she isn't interested in going to college wrestling with me, and I'm not going to those dreadful christmas choir shows she likes. There's a nice balance. We don't have to spend 100% of our waking lives together, it's ok to do shit on your own. 

    though you didn't wade into professional or emotional issues too much here, I can say you don't sound like any of these guys.  there really are grown men who are absolute bumps on a log. like for real.

  4. 2 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

    Really good post.  

     

    and guess who is teaching him how to be a man?  a trans woman. You're god damn right I'm a groomer. I think I know a thing or two about gender and relationships.

  5. and my straight girlfriends in the middle of, contemplating or just finishing their divorces... what do I hear? 

    "I'm tired of doing all the work."

    "I don't want to be with a bump on a log."

    "He has no idea what he wants, I can't live like this."

    "the only thing he's good for is killing a snake and lifting heavy things."

    all kinds of shit like that.

    the answer is easy, do the fucking work, don't be lazy.

  6. Eh, as I alluded to above, stop being a net negative in women’s lives and you’ll be fine. Understand what they want, provide that and boom you get the girl. 

    Whether it’s politics, emotional IQ, money, picking up after yourself, helping around the house or whatever, be the excellent version of you and someone will buy. 

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  7. Lot going on here but fundamentally the world changes, women can live on their own and their ability to want more or want different has evolved. Not every rule has changed but some have. 

    I have a unique perspective, and I am raising 2 boys and have a 3rd out of the house. My 17 year old is a really good looking young man and he’s got adult level game. Doesn’t always translate to the teens but he has it going on.

    all this talk about masculinity is toxic is nonsense. Toxic masculinity is a problem. Lazy masculinity is a problem. You want the girl, figure out what she wants and needs and provide it. 

    what’s his secret? Starts simple - good hygiene, fantastic smile, pays attention to what he wears. He works out, keeps his truck clean, has money and is not concerned about spending it on good times with friends. He saves money too. From there he likes to have a good time, understands the power of telling a good story, making people laugh, and making people feel good about themselves. 

    he knows how to appreciate, compliment, carry on a conversation and frankly has being a good conversationalist as his his number one trait he is looking for in a girl after physical attraction when looking to date. 

    he understands his emotions, he can talk about them, he can be vulnerable and he also knows that tending to his emotional wounds and needs is his responsibility first but that being seen is critical to a positive relationship. He is slow to anger, he is a great listener. 

    in his personal time he’s always learning and wanting to be a better version of himself. He knows how to make things, he knows how to take care of things, he loves the outdoors, camping, and other guy things. But he loves the theatre too. He’s not afraid to follow his interests. He’s NOT a gamer but when friends come over he will whip their ass at Mario kart. He buys video games to entertain his friends when they come over, but rarely plays alone.

    when it comes to being a man his ideas are forming but I’m pretty sure if I asked him to articulate it based solely on my observations of what he does and what he says he would say something like this … 

    Positive masculinity, being a successful man means knowing who you are, managing your life well so that you can include another human in your life and you can be a positive addition to theirs, making others around you feel more confident, secure and positive about themselves. At times helping to carry whatever burden needs to be carried whether it’s hanging art on the wall, fixing a leaky toilet, talking out a work problem or working through our own emotional crosswires. When times are good, making people laugh, making memories, and celebrating life’s small and large accomplishments. Above all else, being kind, having fun, and being a net positive in a relationship is the secret to a happy wife and a happy life. 

    I’ll sum it up by saying this we went to a theatre production of what the constitution means to me and the premise is that the constitution has not protected women like it was supposed to. He left feeling bad, I asked him, he said, “you know, I’ll be fine, I’m a straight white guy, but many people I love aren’t going to be ok and that upsets me.” <— that right there is positive masculinity. 

    this young man has dated about 10 girls in 3 years of high school and he’s on his 4th legit girlfriend. Only one girl refused to keep seeing him, he’s been the one to break up with them.

    boys and men need to up their game, what women have to tolerate has changed and what they want is more clear and it will require boys and men to up their game. 

    but its not a criticism of masculinity its a criticism of lazy masculinity. 

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  8. 1 minute ago, InkaUtexas said:

    You would be quite safe in Jordan or Oman. Oman is gorgeous.

    Our preferred gay travel company does an eygpt/cairo/nile river cruise I’d love to do. I’d have to think about Oman and Jordan if not with a group. I think they did a Jordan one a few years ago.

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  9. 4 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

    I'm admittedly a little sad no one even noticed the website name of the beach pic I posted.

     

    I’ve always been a little sad the Middle East is a “dangerous” place to visit. Tehran from the way before times even Kabul, Afghanistan in the way before times coulda been epic. Far from a Middle East country but we are going to Morocco for my 50th. 

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  10. 32 minutes ago, MagicSoccerSpray said:

     

    The West isn't even the biggest customer for Iran's oil, and using the deposing of some leftist 70+ years ago, is a lazy excuse. The Persians are great people, saddled with a corrupt and incompetent theocracy bent on spreading their version of militant Islam, and threatening the world with nuclear weapons. Lets celebrate their potential downfall, instead of indulging in political self-flagellation.

    Non sequitur.  In fact I was day dreaming about ladies beach not that long ago. 

  11. 2 hours ago, HenryJames said:

    A doctor never told me I shouldn’t eat fast food* so I had to vote for the guy who only eats McDonald’s.
     

    *every fucking doctor tells you not to eat fast food 

    The medical community has flatly ignored the power of diet on your immune system function when it comes to patient care for most of my lifetime.
     

    Yeah if you are over weight and don’t exercise you’ll get a mild lecture to go with your statin script. That’s true. That’s hardly the preferred way here.

    Heck 20 years ago the brain gut connection was considered fringe science and only for the granola kooks. Oops. 

    medical establishment including medical schools  are to blame for much of the backlash. 

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  12. 14 hours ago, MagicSoccerSpray said:

     

    This is 50+ years ago. The US is the biggest oil producer in the world now, and has good relations with the #2,4,5 producing countries. So the argument is that the US is still trying to take over Iranian oil production? To what end? I think if anything we'd encourage regime change because theocratic Iran has been the number one exporter of worldwide terrorism for fifty years. But hey, wE OvErThRoUgH MoSaDDeGh!!! 

    whether it is or isn't the current motivation it has been the genesis of the conflict that has remain unresolved for 50+ years. the conflict can migrate to take on a life of its own apart from the original motivations making it just that much more difficult to untangle. no doubt today its about radicalism, proxy wars through terrorism and nuclear capability, but hey if the West could solve those three, I suspect the West would do so AND strong arm their way into a deal for natural resources, say some oil and gas and some rare earths as well.

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  13. 17 minutes ago, royiv said:

    This can’t be stressed enough. I have a list of people (neighbors, friends) that I know are like minded politically, but aren’t as engaged as I am and might not even know there’s an election going on because there are a ton of elections. I text these folks to remind them about the election and send them the voter guide that I put together. I’ve had exceptional feedback from doing this. In one particular low turnout election, the state senator in my district was elected by a differential of 50ish votes. After the election I was talking to a buddy, who also happens to be the precinct chair where I live, and we were able to account for the entire differential from our personal texting efforts based on the feedback that we each received. Whenever I get down about national and statewide elections, I think back to this example of how we can still impact outcomes in our own communities.

    this is absolutely the way. maybe the only sure way.

  14. 7 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


    Bottom line: a sane approach to health is “both and,” not “either or.”
    Eat well. Breathe clean air. Sleep. All that. Because that puts you body/machine in the best condition…which helps it do many things, including - importantly - resisting and fighting off INFECTION. Avoid and kill germs. Among the ways to do that is making your body a healthier fortress.
    The dismissive discussion of things we’ve done in response to learning that germs are a catalyst for many illnesses (eg, vaccines and antibiotics) is fucking insanity. I mean, I stood in a hospital room over a week and watched antibiotics save my child’s life. Millions are alive today because of vaccines. And these fucking assholes would chuck all of that for eating organic granola and drinking water poured over crystals.

    100% but don't dismiss where some of this is coming from. medicine has done amazing things, and the medical community and the political side of public health (for decades and decades) has been and is also failing us big time. 

  15. 1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

    Not sure why “germ theory” is in quotes.

    Quote

    This idea that, in essence, bad air caused illness was later championed by many others, including Florence Nightingale. It also led to some things that did help fight diseases, like cleaning up sewage.

    But then came the germ theory — one of humanity's big eureka moments. Scientists like Louis Pasteur and Robert Koch discovered it wasn't some mysterious stench in the air from rotting garbage that spread diseases. Instead, it was living microscopic entities.

    "They discovered what we know as germs – microbes," says Melanie Kiechle, a historian at Virginia Tech. "Bacteria and viruses and other microscopic materials were actually what caused illness and also explained the spread of illness from one person to another. So miasma theory is debunked, essentially."

    The discovery of germs led to breakthroughs like antibiotics and vaccines.

    This is probably for a discussion with academics as the nuance here is probably quite subtle in part because how erroneous the theory is,  but I am fascinated by the chasm between the pharmaceutical approach to medicine and the natural approach to disease and illness. On the one hand, you have an approach that at best pays lip service to baseline health and its impact on the immune system - almost like to avoid getting sick is just pure luck. This faction ignores the importance of eating a very nutritious diet full of vegetables and fruits, whole grains and avoiding added sugar and animal saturated fats, environmental toxins, and yes even toxic air.  Example just this morning a well respected publisher had an article in my feed that titanium dioxide is in 11,000 foods in the US and is a known cellular oxidizer and is banned in Europe as a food additive. that’s insane. Food quality is so effing important. This camp wouldn’t even consider weight training and racket sports as foundational to immune system wellness or cognitive health. They wouldn’t for a minute tell you the quality of your marriage or the enjoyment of your hobbies- especially the outdoors ones - will be as effective of a defense to illness as anything else. They will admit sheepishly these things matter, but will in the same breath ignore a mass population deficiency in vitamin D while saying if you eat a balance diet (who does that?) then you don’t need supplements. Have you ever tried to plan a diet to hit just the USDA recommended on all your vitamins and minerals on a daily basis? It’s absolutely impossible. And so without a serious focus on your foundational health it’s a simple fact your immune system is functioning less than optimally which then allows the germs to win. But then this faction just ignores all of it.  
     

    On the other hand the natural approach faction would tell you diet will cure cancer and that antibiotics impact on the gut biome is far worse than sepsis. And obviously the pin prick from a MMR vaccine is beyond dangerous and that the immune system is perfect and beyond need of assistance if we simply feed it oat straw and milk thistle or whatever the fuck.  That gap is really interesting to me, and the return to this magical thinking is so devastatingly wrong but it’s not without causation and just like thinking the air had some toxic quality that caused illness that led to cleaning up raw sewage my hope is that we can at least use this wild ass dark ages thinking - and the aversion to pharmaceutical interventions to start turning to the foundational aspects of wellness as the first and primary and if your body responds yes the only line of defense needed for the luckiest. but the responsibility to do this right will be on the scientists - the adults in this conversation and the primary communicators of this will be the doctors and the schools that train them.
     

    The fact is well before pharmaceuticals, the human body needs optimal (1) nutrition (including supplements), (2) weight training and hand eye coordination athletic type activity (like hunting for our ancestors and racket sports for modern humans), (3) sleep, (5) distressing activities and moments, and (6) quality relationships.  I’d bet less than 3%-5% of the population focuses on these 6 things like their lives depend on it. And make no mistake, our lives DO in fact depend on these six factors more than anything else. And doctors I’ve talked too barely pay lip service to the foundation. 

    I guess I’m saying the MAHA movement is kooky as the freak show at the county carnival but it’s not borne from nothing it’s borne from a failure of medicine to pay attention to the most foundational aspects of health. The germ theory is obviously correct but not all immune systems are operating equally. As a society we need to focus on both medical intervention and improving foundational health that has nothing to do with pharmaceutical solutions. 

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  16. 9 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

    And I learned from Wood’s mistake…cropped this pic of the missus I til as we were leaving, and looking back at the crowd.

    d9473d522b7a463651d7b2e2115107e8.jpg

    Married a gal who walks the walk. She always has.

    Yeah you way out kicked your coverage there brisket. Not sure what else to say, she mighta been your best accomplishment. It’s ok. I’ve done that twice, caused two high quality women to fall for me so don’t take that as a critique that isn’t also levied against myself. Kudos.

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