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  • Spring Practice Updates - Offseason Sucks Edition


    The most interesting thing other than the Bijan run (which we will get into later) that happened this last week is that WE FINALLY SOLVED THE MYSTERY. We figured out who Steve Sarkisian looks like.

    image.jpeg.1bcbac09c4318984b2fc72b7761751c7.jpeg    image.jpeg.be5fcd8c2cf698b9e2285a5a4db1dd96.jpeg


    Blammo, we can not put it to bed. I know it has been bothering Longhorn Fans all over the world ever since Sark was announced to be the new HFC at the Great University of Texas. 

    Back to your regularly scheduled badassery. Check this run out.

    If this doesn't get the blood pumping to your special parts, then you don't like longhorn football and you can now close out the article, because what we are about to talk about is only for those willing to enter the Burnt Orange Cathedral that Bijan and Co. are building.

    Bijan Robinson is the truth, he cuts on turf like a tarpon darts through the shallows off the coast. He is truly in his element on the field and it's going to be something special to watch in the upcoming season.

    But wait, this grown ass man would like a word:


    RoJo should still starts - he isn't RB2 at this point, due to his incredible physicality and gift for creating yards where there are none to be had. There will be a true 2 headed monster coming out of the Texas Backfield this Fall and it's going to be glorious. 

    I almost forgot in all the excitement to talk about SCHOOLER switching to safety. Yep, you heard that right - he is officially moving away from WR and moving to Safety for the '21 season. 

    I mean check out these 2 mean ass dudes, BJ Foster and Kitan Crawford - these dudes look ready to shut down anything coming their way.


    With that we get into pure and rampant speculation because we have absolutely dick to go off of as far as film, or anything else. The 9.95ers got the opportunity for some media availability with Sark, Okafor and Gbenda. All completely worthless information given in all the interviews. 

    Sark's summary could be - he's not bummed about what he sees and thinks that the team is responding well to his regime and the way they do things.

    Okafor's summary could be - I want Casey to starts, I like to play football, the NFL may be a thing for me now that I don't have a completely shit coach after having 4 OL coaches in his time here through 3 regimes.

    Gbenda's summary could be - You all know I'm not as good as some of the great linebackers, but I'm trying to be real good. 

    We had a CTJ sighting, basically giving us all a glimpse into how we need to feel going into next season:

    and with that we have basically ended the week knowing absolutely nothing more than we knew last week. Things around the program and with the players definitely feel  much different than past years. Maybe...just maybe we will get a glimpse of some real footage when All Access returns on the 23rd, right before the spring game on the 24th!

    I'll again leave you with my current mood. Beast Mode: Bring it.



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    12 minutes ago, immamac said:

    Bijan Robinson is the truth, he cuts on turf like a sheepshead darts through the shallows off the coast.

    Should have gone with Permit or Bonefish. Tarpon would have been acceptable.

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    5 minutes ago, Bevo said:

    Should have gone with Permit or Bonefish. Tarpon would have been acceptable.

    Didn't see any of those fishing yesterday. Did catch this guy though. 


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  • Our picks

    • I was bored and went through the coaching staffs for each of the remaining playoff teams.¬† Listed below are the coaches who seemed like possibilities to me (but I'm an idiot).¬† They all have some college coaching experience and in the case of one an extensive HS coaching background.¬† A couple of entries have pretty light resumes but have long NFL careers.

      Houston Texans:
      Jacques Cesaire DL coach - 5 years at Univ of San Diego as DL coach, 9 years as DE for San Diego Chargers
      Rod Wright Asst DL Coach

      Green Bay Packers:
      Jerry Montgomery DL coach -11 years in college at OU, Michigan, Wyoming.  Last 9 years in NFL

      Detroit Lions:
      John Scott Jr. DL Coach - First year in Detroit.  Previously coached at Penn St., South Carolina, and Arkansas
      Wayne Blair QC - Long time Florida HS head coach, spent last two years coaching DLine in Detroit.  Played at Tulane and CFL

      Buffalo Bills:
      Marcus West Asst D-Line - Prior to joining Bills in 2022 spent 14 years as college D-Line coach (Charlotte, Minn, Austin Peay)

      San Francisco 49ers:
      Darryl Tapp Asst D-Line - 12 year NFL veteran.  Coached D-Line at V-Tech for 2 seasons.  Joined 49ers in 2022.
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    • I'm not doing well about it, at all.¬†

      That's because we had our championship window of opportunity, which is now closed. 

      Why? Because now we face another, more potent opponent. The Fightin' Aggies of Texas A&M University. 
      They have THE best traditions in all of college. Plus, they've already surpassed us in baseball and basketball. Don't believe me? Consider this recent post from TexasAgs: "We've already surpassed them in baseball and basketball." 

      What's more, they demonstrated an unquenchable commitment to success when they paid a coach $78 MILLION to leave. That's right. $78 million to a coach they had presented a future national championship trophy to stop coaching, and they did it mid-season without a replacement locked-in. While it seems like this is poor financial management by their athletic department, it shows a spirit of winning we could only dream about. 

      Now, they've brought in a coach who gets them. That's right. He EMBRACES their traditions. And he has a great nickname, The Elk, which pairs with The Station quite nicely. We don't even have an amazing nickname for our city. 


      Finally, when you compare the two football programs, A&M comes out ahead. As many of their posters continually point out, they faced a much better Alabama team than we did AND ALMOST WON. Plus, they paid tribute to their near-win against the second-best team in the Big 12.  

      Now that they've moved on from many of their players from the best recruiting class of all time, and have had multiple highly ranked recruits opt out, they are ready to win even more championships with hardworking farm boys from small towns. 

      Thanks for indulging my meltdown. I'm skeered real good.   
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    • You can go into your profile and associate those accounts to yours - they will let you sign in faster and conveniently instead of having to remember your password etc.

      Sign ups should also be significantly faster/easier for new people to join the conversation. 

      Existing members go here to link your google account: https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/settings/login/?service=3

      and here to link your msft account: https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/settings/login/?service=8
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    • Contact Your Coon-Ass Friends To Prepare Their Cyber Anus

      Is it bad that they have my name, address, Social Security number and birth date other Barry?
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    • Y‚Äôall really think Jimbo is gonna sit on the sidelines and watch as 2 men take turns doing the one thing he loves?
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