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Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by MaybeACoordinator

  1. If you listen to the Cocaine and Rhinestones podcast episode (maybe more than one) on the Judds, Naomi comes across as a pyscho cunt of the highest order and it's kind of amazing Wynonna wasn't the one to blow her brains out first. Or Ashley. Just an evil, evil bitch.
  2. Maldy going yard is so special. It's like your blind 12-year-old lab catching a squirrel. So proud of him.
  3. And the magnificent bastard was also cynical enough to realize that he needed to make ringworm-ridden tow-headed Appalachian tots the poster children for his War on Poverty. Couching it as a racial issue plays into he hands of the billionaires and is the surest way to see that nothing is ever done about it.
  4. Yep they are trying to streamline it with Southern tastes and some of y'all are falling for it. It will be a second-rate version of Cookout before y'all know it. And I like Cookout, f I am in Mississippi or points east. HEB needs to buy the Texas locations of Whataburger and save it.
  5. SIAP but this is how late stage capitalism works. 1. China and SE Asia and South Asia are the deepest pool of dirt-cheap labor combined with a certain level of manufacturing right now. 2. However it costs a lot of money to ship the goods across the planet on fuel-guzzling container ships. 3. Sooo....you break down American workers. Make them more like Chinese workers. Present trends are moving in the other direction but that is the dream they share when the billionaires break out the cigars and dream of a better world.
  6. Holy shit -- I might be the only Texan to have eaten there with his young daughter who was not on his way to or from Ozark. Seconded -- good stuff.
  7. Wound up becoming dildo emporium Zone D'Erotica, embarrassing the mighty Galleria for decades.
  8. I did think it was funny when I read that his answering machine played a recording of BB King's "The Thrill is Gone." Also, I have an affinity for fellow grads of Jesuit highs schools, unless that school is in Dallas. But yeah, he was an Astro-killer for sure, and I've heard the same rumors of dickishness. https://youtu.be/oica5jG7FpU
  9. It all comes back to a sense of overall dissatisfaction. It is now official -- most people in greater Houston -- not the city itself, but the city and many shitty enclaves, can no longer afford to live there. Either the rent is too damn high or the wages are too damn low or both. One or both of those items needs to be addressed real soon or this country is going to be even more of a shitshow than it has of late. I mean, yeah, $20/hour probably is too much to pay a Subway employee, but when that doesn't cover rent, what good is it?
  10. Thanks for all the great responses! Keep 'em comin'!
  11. Would not be allowed in an article for a Texas magazine, alas
  12. Anyone know of any? They used to be in every small town right by the highway -- basically a burger joint with maybe a picnic table or two but no real seating. Mom and pops. I guess Sonic killed most of them off. There are a couple in Houston still, like Someburger and Poppa Burger, which barely qualifies because it has so many picnic tables.
  13. Imagine how it would weird people out if you walked up to "He Stopped Loving Her Today."
  14. It's not so much what they did -- we won't know for a few years -- but what they didn't. And that's draft a bunch of in-your-face FCA types. Maybe somebody got the message through to whoever was pushing that line to stfu if they want that franchise to win.
  15. I dunno, it's fun having the homeless man's version of Willie Mays as fifth outfielder.
  16. That is practically a verbatim quote of shit my ex used to say. The physical abuse was by far the least of it.
  17. Can I put my head in her lap while I weep and suck my thumb?
  18. Best part So of course this is a grift. I just hope it's a grift by someone in on the joke.
  19. At least some of them have informal bans on political discussion in public, yard signs, etc. Their god-king is not orange but lime-green. Article is well worth the read. Yeah that's kind of the appeal, according to this article. I would say that the place would be a nightmare for me but hey, people who are into that sort of thing are really into that sort of thing. I would hope one of the onsite amenities is a discreet VD clinic but I bet those old codgers don't give a fuck. It would probably just be fun gossip tracking down the sources of outbreaks. And I bet you would sell out a Willie-, George Strait- or Jerry Jeff-themed housing development real fast. Bonus trivia: it is exactly 180-degrees wrong to call JJW "the Buffett of Texas." JJW took Buffett under his wing and showed him how to be the JJW of wannbe Gulf Coast trash. Double bonus trivia: The two of them co-wrote "Railroad Lady" (famous in its Willie version) on a train down to Key West. Buffett had never been but Walker knew it well.
  20. Although his family had a big hand in founding Fort Worth, Townes Van Zandt was an Astros fan.
  21. I thought so too but remember he was in the vomit comet and that other simulator at NASA. Repetitious.
  22. My mom slapped like that one time -- under strikingly similar circumstances -- but she miscalculated and the other side of my head whipped into the corner of a brick wall, knicking me on the right temple. I had a tiny, tiny cut but I bled like a stuck pig because it opened one of those surface veins you have up there. She was mortified and I went from Brat Who Had it Comin' to Blinded Ralphie acting the martyr in front of his parents for poisoning him with soap in seconds.
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