A few years back on a 787 (3-3-3) flight to Houston from Frankfurt I was seated in an aisle seat and mso was in the window seat. We left it to chance as to who would be seated between us.
Next thing you know a 400lb fatty walks in the cabin. Naturally, i closed my eyes and hoped for the best. Well, we lucked out. He was in section ABC a few rows up while we were in seats GHI two rows back and over. Relief!
Well, a few minutes later an even larger fatty, 450lb+, walks in and i'm thinking "No fucking way. Just my luck." At that moment, I prepped for what i expected to be the longest 12 hr flight ever. Nope, we lucked out again!
Then the unthinkable happened. New fatty was seated in the middle seat right next to original fatty. I was in shock! My inward reaction was that the whole situation was just wrong. I couldn't believe my eyes. I caught the FA eyes and gave her the raised eyebrow/wtf look. Again, i just couldn't believe this was really happening.
These two rotund beings probably woke up that morning dreading sitting next to a normal person, hoping to sit next to a child, only to find their doppelganger on a transatlantic flight. HA!!!
It was like a trainwreck. I couldn't turn away. I must have stared at these two for 3 of 12 hours during that flight. It was a marvel to behold. I just kept thinking how miserable and uncomfortable they must be. They overflowed into each other and each were leaning the opposite way while still fully rubbed up into each other. Did i mention that they closed the doors and the seat between us remained empty. I knew that at some point this would not stand and something would transpire. Sure enough around hour 7 i hear "That's It!". Next thing i see is these two fatties in a verbal spat, though not facing each other, involved in full fat elbow war. It was the most hilarious thing i have ever seen on a plane.
I don't know how either of them didn't leave that flight hating fat people. The irony!