I know these people. Not literally, but I can make an educated guess. They live in Marion. He works for his Dad’s insurance office in Cedar Rapids, but it isn’t going very well. He walked beans for his great uncle once in 1993 and likes to tell people he “basically grew up on the farm”. After 5 Busch Lights (which he incessantly refers to as “Lattes”), he likes to comment about how he doesn’t understand why everyone hates Nickleback, because they “fucking rip”. She’s a dental hygienist. Grew up in Oelwein. They met on the dance at floor at Sharky’s in Cedar Falls when she was going to UNI and he was living in an apartment in Waterloo, selling weed but telling everyone he went to Hawkeye CC. She was kinda going through a black dude phase but wasn’t sure how her folks would react, and hey, this guy’s dad had a little cash. So she settled. She’s yelled “No laws when you’re on the Claws!” at least 25 times today. She was in a pyramid scheme based around selling dildos about 10 years ago and still uses “business owner” to describe herself on social media. Their kids, Hayden and Kaizeleigh, are assholes.