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Rimbo

Burnt Ends
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Posts posted by Rimbo

  1. https://www.theonion.com/trump-files-lawsuit-in-pennsylvania-alleging-election-o-1845587740

    Trump Files Lawsuit In Pennsylvania Alleging Election Officials Totally Disregarding His Feelings

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    WASHINGTON—Blasting the complete lack of empathy, campaign attorneys for President Donald Trump filed a lawsuit in Pennsylvania Thursday alleging state election officials were totally disregarding his feelings. “A lot of these ballots clearly contain information that makes me sad and scared, and it’s just not right,” said Trump, who cautioned the media to refrain from issuing any results that would hurt him. “I’m angry and confused, and I demand that election officials cease being mean immediately. All this vote counting completely flies in the face of my emotions, and I won’t stand for it. We won’t let the Democrats make me cry.” At press time, an angry mob of Trump supporters had surrounded a vote counting facility to demand election officials make the president smile.

    • Like 1
  2. 1 hour ago, wildcat09 said:

    Trump's lead is under 109k.

    Yeah, those numbers were probably out-of-date by the time I hit "submit."

    1 hour ago, G650 said:

    Number one is batshit insane.

    Number 2 is pretty nutty, too.

    1 hour ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

    this is nothing like what is reported elsewhere

    I was pulling the numbers straight from the PA Dept of State, but they may have been updated between when I loaded the page and made the post.

    Also: Most of the media reports I've seen are using "estimated" vote totals, since PA allows ballots to be counted up until next Tuesday; I was using the actual ballots in-hand.

    Either way, things bad for Trumpl

  3. Went to the PA counting dashboard, just to crunch the numbers. See https://www.electionreturns.pa.gov/ and https://www.votespa.com/About-Elections/Pages/Counting-Dashboard.aspx

    It shows the breakdown of how many votes remain to be counted and how the votes are distributed.

    Right now, Biden's 258,784 votes behind with 369,364 remaining to be counted. He needs just over 70% to favor him to win PA. Of the mail-in votes tallied so far, 77% have gone for Biden.

    It's close, very much too close to call, but that's why the nerds are thinking Biden will win this.

  4. Oh, neat... we're on page 538.

    https://www.theonion.com/democratic-strategists-hold-screening-of-three-amigos-1845584362

    Democratic Strategists Hold Screening Of ‘Three Amigos’ In Order To Better Understand Latino Culture

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    WASHINGTON—Hoping to learn from their failure to court the potential voter base in the 2020 election, Democratic strategists held a screening of Three Amigos Thursday in an effort to help the party better understand Latino culture. “One of the major blunders of the last campaign cycle was Democrats’ lack of a message that connected with everyday Latinx families, such as how our policies can help towns caught in the clutches of the infamous bandito El Guapo and his band of men,” said strategist James Carville, demonstrating to his fellow analysts how they could have earned a larger vote share of the nation’s estimated 59.8 million Hispanic Americans by running ads touting increased access to invisible swordsmen and singing bushes voiced by Randy Newman. “For too long we’ve made the mistake of treating these voters like one monolithic entity, but what we’re learning is that there are multiple subgroups—Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, and Martin Short—that each have their own distinctive backgrounds and culture, and we need to tailor our message to fit them all.” At press time, Carville had moved on to educating strategists about how to reach out to military families by popping in a DVD of Sgt. Bilko.

    • Hook 'Em 2
  5. Poll: 94% Of Nation Would Rather Live In Authoritarian Dictatorship Than Wait 10 More Minutes For Results

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    WASHINGTON—With almost all respondents claiming there is no agony greater than anticipation, a new Gallup poll released Tuesday found that 94% of the nation would rather live in an authoritarian dictatorship than wait 10 more minutes for election results. “I would much prefer to be subjected to the cruel whims of an autocratic megalomaniac than wait any longer for the final election outcome,” said Georgia resident Chris Mitchell, who, along with a nearly unanimous majority of Americans, expressed a willingness to be dragged from his house by government agents in the dead of night and disappeared if it would result in a shorter period of uncertainty. “Being forced to do hard labor in a concentration camp? Sign me up if it means I could finally find out who won this damn thing. Feed me propaganda, shoot dissidents in the street, do away with elections altogether, I don’t care! I’ll accept anything at this point. I just want to know.” At press time, the other 6% of respondents confirmed that they were willing to wait another five minutes maximum.
    [source]
  6. 4 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

    What is that, a picture for ants?

    I'm sincerely sorry to hear about your job and your mom, man. And Tom Herman, but we all know that shared pain.

    Sorry. Here, I'll zoom in for you.

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