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HornPhD

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by HornPhD

  1. Where the fuck do you work?
  2. HornPhD

    Father's Day 2018

    What gave it away, Detective Drebin?
  3. HornPhD

    Father's Day 2018

    I'll be watching my son (10) play in a lacrosse tournament in Tahoe this weekend. When we're at the hotel after each day's games, I'll be having drinks by the pool.
  4. Was traveling in Northern Peru with two friends in the summer of 2007. One was a former professor of mine and the other was my father's dissertation chair (back in 1975). Both traveled extensively and always checked out the local strip club. We're in Chiclayo and jumped in a cab intending to ask the driver to take us to the nearest club. We didn't speak Spanish and he didn't speak English. After some back and forth it seemed like he understood what we were looking for. He starts driving us out of the city. We drive about 10-15 minutes before turning off the main road and enter a residential area. Drive by one house with a guy holding what looked to be a machine gun. Getting a little nervous. Leave the residential area and drive for another 5-10 minutes. Pull up to a motel. Not sketchy at all. We go through the main door and pay a small entrance fee. Walk through another door and enter a open air quad with rooms all around the perimeter. There are about 40-50 guys hanging in the quad. We're the only white ones. Where the fuck are we? A door opens up and woman in lingerie appears. A group of 10-15 guys closest to the door make a mad dash for it. One guy gets in. Ahhh, it's that kind of place. We locate the bar. Order one beer each. Start to notice eyes on us. Time to go. Pound the beers and head out. Luckily the cab driver was still outside. One the way out, we hit a checkpoint or get pulled over (can't remember which). As we're preparing to pull out bribe money, the "officers" get called away on an emergency and let us go. Time to head back to the hotel? Fuck that. After determining we were looking for bailarinas, cab driver took us to another place. I spent the next couple of hours drinking cheap beer and making out with one of the dancers. TL;DR: looking for a strip club in Northern Peru and ended up at a brothel for local mine workers due to a language difference. Did not feel like we'd survive if we stuck around.
  5. Now we know you're not George Clooney
  6. Who's the better lay... Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt?
  7. The Celtics play is ensuring an early bedtime due to the amount of Jameson I'm drinking
  8. Bars on the windows would help, too
  9. Also doesn't prevent someone opening a door from the inside
  10. Fire code regulations require multiple exit doors. Having alarmed doors for every exit, except for the main access door, would help; however, it's expensive and many schools have more than one building or an open campus.
  11. Texas AG already coming out in support of the NRA
  12. Thought it was 30 seconds. 10, 30....whatever it takes. And AT&T has the worst customer service. I was on the other day and had the same conversation with 3 different people.
  13. That's what Vegas is saying
  14. DJ probably fucked his Mom
  15. Yep. Regular season records don't matter. GSWs are a very good team. Too many weapons. And I'm hoping for a Celtics-Rockets Finals.
  16. Ouch (3 by KT)
  17. Warriors in 4 or 5?
  18. My phone is blowing up cause there was an earthquake. One response: Yes! I felt it! So scary. I’m shaking!
  19. All places with video games are now ticket-based. Sad! We only go to the ones that serve booze.
  20. Cross the Bay Bridge and walk around East or West Oakland wearing the hat.
  21. Dennis Johnson?
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