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SimonBolivar

Certifiably Surly
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About SimonBolivar

  • Birthday 03/25/2018

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  1. Being a blue eyed white dude in Texas that knows what capirotada is works 100% of the time with Chicanas.
  2. The girl in college that showed attention had slept with the offensive line of two separate universities so he definitely could have if he wanted to but he didn't have confidence to do it with someone that experienced. The out of his league girl was an excuse really.
  3. One of my best childhood friends fits this thread perfectly and I've watched his journey into being a 34 year old virgin. 1.) He was overweight as a kid so he get zero attention from girls and he had zero confidence 2.) Continued being overweight in high school and focused on playing football (OL of course) so much that he never went to prom or on a date 3.) Got hung up on a girl in college that is way out of hi league and never moved on until graduation 4.) Got hit on by an ugly slut in college and didn't pursue her for even a night because he felt some sort of chivalry towards said out of league girl who barely knew his name. 5.) Became an adult and got hung up on another girl out of his league who did text him back but anyone who wasn't an incel could tell she wasn't interested by the way she responded. 6.) Continue gaining weight until he is 5'9" 300lbs My wife and I set him up with a friend and we doubled with them for his first ever date (he was 28) and it went well enough that the girl wanted a second, but the girl we set him up with had a similar body type to him and he rejected that instantly and never called her back. Now he's a grown ass man at 34 and his prospects are incredibly dim because he's been on one date in his life, and he has no idea how to treat an actual woman if he were to accidently go on a date again. The poor bastard has his bedroom in his 1br apartment completely decorated in a 7th grade male all sports all the time aesthetic. He has never read a book in his life and can't really talk about anything other than sports or action movies. He doesnt travel because he doesnt want to go alone so he'll only go out of town to sporting events with others. He refuses to use dating apps because of his confidence being 0 and says he would never date a woman with a kid. This dude has a college degree, has been a teacher for over a decade so he makes alright money (relatively to some other incels), and he's a really nice guy so some woman would assuredly be ok with him being a bit immature in tastes as a grown man. He just doesn't give himself a chance and I'm sure there are plenty of other incels that fit into his category that just don't really know what to do or where they fit in society.
  4. Just date the slightly overweight fun girl in the group for a bit. You learn how to use the parts effectively, enjoy going out with another human, make mistakes, and then move on to prime targets.
  5. Sure it is, but not gonna lie I can't think of anything in life that is more fun than that chase when it's going well.
  6. It isn't everything of course, but losing 15lbs probably wouldn't hurt that 30% either.
  7. I'm assuming this storm that has been sitting over San Saba County for an hour and is still moving incredibly slowly is a good thing for y'alls lakes?
  8. Well, let's see what kind of income stream we're talking about here before we rule anything out.
  9. More likely to punch their teacher in the face in 30 minutes than pull out a top-of-the-line phone at her school, but hey no student loan payments after however many years for my wife so totally worth it. /s
  10. My wife is a teacher at WISD that was far from the China Spring area but they still had to shelter in place when the sirens went off and she had kids telling her, "If I die tell my parents that I loved them." Kids today are so much more aware of their mortality than I was as a 2nd grader.
  11. I think almost all of Waco Surly lives in the suburbs of the south side, but this storm seems like it had a long track. Also from the airport
  12. Really? I think we're doing just fine. Sure, some people have different opinions on controversial topics but that's always been a thing.
  13. The TimesMachine is one of America's best historical databases as a newspaper of record for over 150 years and is a valuable research tool (seriously follow James Garfield's story from being shot until his death sometime). Being a newspaper of record in the US means that it would absolutely show the commonly accepted exceptionalism that was prevalent in the country for most of that time. An endorsement of MAGA is about the the only thing that would make me cancel. Plus Cooking and The Book Review are unmatched in our digital age.
  14. Maybe they'll kick us out of "the South" and they can put Oklahoma in our place.
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