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FloridaHorn

Burnt Ends
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Everything posted by FloridaHorn

  1. Dude, perhaps you should go hang out with EJ on surly wolverines or something. This is the fucking 2022 Texas recruiting thread. Take your man crush to the coaching thread or another fucking message board.
  2. Gary just proclaimed that if our kicker didn’t miss an extra point and a FG, we be winning this game. I tried to explain that actually, the game would be tied and everyone looked at me like I had a third eye.
  3. So, I showed up with a 18 lb turkey, and a glazed ham which set me back a little over $100 bucks. The entirety of the items brought by the rest of the Maypear Mafia may not have cost $50 in total. There was a bag salad, a bottle of Thousand Island dressing, one pack of King’s Hawaiian rolls, 2 store bought desserts, what appeared to be stovetop stuffing, and Kraft Mac and cheese. Larry brought a bottle of Smirnoff for the pot luck, and Gary has been pouring it into his sweet tea and telling everyone that is how you make Long Island teas. The Gay cousin and his partner brought fucking quiche….you can’t make this shit up.
  4. How hard do you have to punch someone between the waist and shoulders to cause facial lacerations, a broken nose, and brain damage? someone did not understand the assignment
  5. I went to a pot luck several years ago and someone brought the little finger triangle sandwiches…..just dry bread and a piece of bologna.
  6. Dak’s numbers look totally different if not for the two drops apiece by Wilson and Brown.
  7. I should also add that Uncle Garry asked if I could pick him up some "of that medical marijuana" before the trip. Guess I could just stuff a couple of vape pens in the fucking turkey.
  8. Flight for Texas leaves at 10 AM on Wednesday. Maypearl mafia just informed me that, due to rising grocery cost, they have decided to make this years Thanksgiving a "POT LUCK", and want to know if I can bring a Turkey or Ham. I am boarding an airplane to be a part of this shit show, and now I am supposed to find a fully prepared 20 lb Turkey or Ham on the day before fucking Thanksgiving to feed these fat hillbilly bastards. I swear to all that is holy, this is the last one of these shit shows I attend.
  9. Is fucking Greg Davis calling plays?
  10. I’m no Sark apologist, but his scheme and adjustments aren’t the problem. There were receivers running open in every game this year and our QBs either miss the read or make a shit throw. I can think of 10-12 times this year where they have missed wide open guys on deep balls that would have been TDs. Scheme hasn’t been great for us on defense, but that is not the offensive problem on this team
  11. Bartender, I’ll have what he’s having.
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