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Quasimofo

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Everything posted by Quasimofo

  1. Candi or Krazy Karen talked them into this. Naked Twister may be added later.
  2. Good luck! The best Taylor Hamm is the one strutting around down there telling them all he's better at their jobs than they are. Him being horribly wrong constantly is an added bonus. Chef Hamm/Waterpark Hamm, honorable mention.
  3. You guys are forgetting this magical run a couple years ago.
  4. @6FigsHandler First time listener, long time caller. 5'11 195 *ding* Is 6figs still persona non grata around the actual football program since the new regime took over? I understand the end you're working, but that invisible fence would be a hindrance. Or, is that where the extremely weird old lady comes into play? Follow up question: does she have a restraining order (in Texas) regarding one Jimbo Fisher and/or TexAgs?
  5. Sex bomb, sex bomb, you're my sex bomb...
  6. New casino just opened this spring in Terral also.
  7. Casinos, right across the river.
  8. I put step rails on my pickups for this very reason. Wife thinks I put them on there for her benefit. Middle of DFW or 30 miles from town, I'll open the two passenger doors, perch on the perfect height those provide, and assume the fecal position.
  9. I live SW of Burk. Grew up N of Electra. I'll add a couple. Willie's Place makes a beanie burger, and has a pretty good rep. I'm not big on cheese, and it's a little too cheesy for my taste. Glass Kitchen is where I go if I want a chili cheeseburger. Back Porch is like a Bennigans/Parkway Grill type place. I have always enjoyed what I've eaten there. Branding Iron is where I go for bbq. Cash only. I don't get brisket there. If I want brisket, I'll be doing that myself. Same with a ribeye. But, if you want some somewhere close to downtown (say courthouse), that's where I go. TGS Cupcakery. Don't know, never been, but I hear good things. Ate at the Pho place by the mall. Not too bad.
  10. Jesus H. Christ! You're not a writer! You're a killer! Thanks for the kind words, everyone. In contrast, my father passed away on April 24, while I was on the road. I saw him the week before, and I talked to him on the phone from Alaska a few hours before. I got to tell him I loved him, and hear him say he loved me. I began a race against death to get home once I was told his body was shutting down. He passed away while I was on the third of my four flights. He was 80. He was a great dad, and lived a good life. I was on a redeye from SEA to DFW on Alaska Airlines when I got the message. Other than that obvious trauma, was the dickhead in the middle seat elbowing me the entire flight, and having to spend a night in the Prudhoe Bay Motel. Look that jewel up on Google. View from my window below. Had to spend the night there because I couldn't get on flight out that afternoon on emergency status.
  11. I got that phone call all parents dread, and hope never comes. You think you can imagine what that feels like, but, I promise, you can't. Four months later, I had a heart attack. The grief almost killed me. It affects me every day. You have no idea how much you can cry as a grown man. I've always had a positive outlook on life. I can find a positive or humor in just about anything. Most of my posts here are usually short jokes, that probably are only funny to me. I cannot imagine how someone with depression would handle a loss like that.
  12. You're forgetting that Karen is a witch, and will be rubbing her bean with her calloused bean finger behind the aggy bench. Among the usual aggy incantations of magic, will be a new sound. Her moaned, aural assault will strike fear into the Clemson players with a bone-chilling sound, not felt by a young man since "I'VE GOT YOU NOW, TOMMY TURNER!" The aggy version of Marie Laveau is here.
  13. Canadian customs at airports have always been dicks to me. And, I have a spotless record. Every time I go, they ask the same silly ass questions, then point to another door, where there is another customs agent with more in depth questions. I'd hate to go through with his rep/record. I've seen them swabbing people's licenses and phones with some alcohol(?) pads they put on a little monitor.
  14. Wear a bathrobe and flash him your CBs
  15. Vic personally knows every person on PeopleofWalmart.com
  16. Man telling her it was a rat snake, women saying it deserved to die because it is a snek.
  17. Debated on whether to post here or dumbass Facebook thread.
  18. Jumbo has an in with the director of the NAMBLA festival. That's not even counting sexcapades with Karen and Norman. Or, being lit.
  19. They threw a party because some crazy guy tore down a fence. They'll damn sure adopt a female, 90 years old or not. She'll have some puff painted overalls covering her Depends, and she'll be sawing away with the rest of them after another ran out of time.
  20. Hallelujah, there IS a Bob!
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