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Celery Man

Certifiably Surly
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Celery Man last won the day on December 24 2019

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About Celery Man

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    girthiest dick

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  1. Celery Man

    New Music 2025

    New Petey album dropped. Love this guy and just for fun
  2. Celery Man

    Colonoscopy

    nurse was not amused when I asked for a wallet print of my appendiceal orifice
  3. Celery Man

    Colonoscopy

    Skinnier than you are.
  4. Celery Man

    Colonoscopy

  5. One time at the old Redrum I was singing into a 58 and saw Leslie's asshole at a 90 degree angle.
  6. Celery Man

    Colonoscopy

    I actually was having some second thoughts on the orange - my instructions say that jello is OK as long as it's not red or purple. Orange is close to red, but it's not exactly a niche jello color and you'd think they'd say it explicitly if they're listing which colors of jello not to eat.
  7. Celery Man

    Colonoscopy

  8. Combine the two paragraphs here for the change, I think. It used to be that you had people who were obsessed on a topic and did the work to go down the rabbit holes to become that type of kook. Now if you get on the internet you’ll inevitably stumble across a video that gives you special information making you smarter than all of those bookfag experts. If that kind of thing tickles your fancy, there are more right there and pretty soon the internet will learn to feed you that information almost exclusively.
  9. Celery Man

    Power Pop

    Man I’d love to catch the show with them and Ben Kweller
  10. Ah shit there may not be enough gpus
  11. An AI tool that detects when posters are being shitheads and moves their posts to a penalty box thread. So, in football there would be the Quinn Ewers thread [7 pages] and the Quinn Ewers Penalty Box [527 pages].
  12. Buddy sent me his episode on the freakonomics guy’s podcast and so I’ve been listening to his book. Mid year and I’ve declared unequivocal victory on the weight loss goal. I don’t give a shit about muscles or lifting more than my what I functionally need to lift in my life but he’s convinced me. Figuring out phase two.
  13. That’s interesting, it’s so close to almost just a Les Paul but definitely has a tele shape. another random algo guitar company, in the more dano/fano realm - never heard of ruby guitars before but this is kinda cool. Love the grain on pic 3
  14. I went in to my daughter's room this morning to take her to brush her teeth. She was playing on the floor, hopped up and gave me a big hug and told me she wasn't surprised because she heard my footsteps coming. And then she asked why I was sad, "why is your face like this? ☹️". She's 4, she's at an age where I'm not trying to hide things from her but I'm never sure how much to try and explain, but I decided to tell her about how there was a big flood in Texas and a lot of people got hurt, and a lot of the people who got hurt were kids and little girls like her. And I was happy because I love her so much but I was sad because I would be so sad if anything ever happened to her and there are other daddies out there right now who are that kind of sad. And she reassured me that she was OK, and then she said that she would be sad if something happened to her friends, and I talked about how there are little girls who are sad for their friends right now. But that it's good to love people that much to be that sad. And then we brushed teeth. I'd fucking die. I can't imagine. We were at the beach weekend before last and I was walking around with her holding a bucket, looking for shells. She was making a princess tower and we needed shells. A 60-70 year old guys was walking down the beach, and he and I made eye contact for a second as he was passing and he just kinda waved, and it was little moment. I can't describe the look on his face or his posture or whatever, maybe I was just in that moment realizing that I was on the flip side of one of the handful of days I experienced as a small child that then make up your entire "going to the beach as a kid" core set of memories, but it was like the guy was waving to his own memory.
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