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Walden Ponderer

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Walden Ponderer

  1. So, now that Putin has congratulated Biden, do you think he releases the pee-pee tapes for grinsies? I bet he leaks them.
  2. I don't know, man, it's kind of dry reading. Take this from the first page, for example:
  3. Too bad his mother didn't have Plan B way back when. Oh, well.
  4. I have two friends in the state of Georgia. A pediatrician whom my wife met at Abilene Christian University back in the 80s, and her husband, an officer in the Marine corps. They are, as it turns out, African Americans. You don't really need to know how they are going to vote -- you can guess it easily enough. I mention them only to point out that this has a personal angle for me -- I am genuinely hopeful that they get to be represented by people who don't hate their guts simply because of the color of their skin. They are both smarter, brighter, more important people than me -- they deserve to be treated as such.
  5. Well, either something not worth it, or nothing you would miss.
  6. Only because, as an aggy, he was caught with a copy of "I've got my eyes on ewe".
  7. Hey, you know, a 50/50 hit rate for a psychic is pretty good, considering how much they are generally willing to stand behind their product.
  8. Maybe. But he's probably the hardest to read of all presidents. My wife and I were watching "The Roosevelts" on PBS once upon a time, and it was a real case of emotional whiplash watching the evolution of TR: "We love this guy!" "We hate this guy!" "We love this guy!" "God, he's an asshole!" "Awww... we love this guy!" I mean, if there's ever been a guy who could endear himself to, and piss off, everyone in America more than him, hey, name him.
  9. I loved Obama as a politician. But no. His goal was to be right. A common failing of really smart people.
  10. This joke woulda worked better if at least one of Geena Davis or Susan Sarandon had weighed 800 pounds, and the other one had walked with a lisp.
  11. All I remember from 2004 was Cedric Benson. 2005 was all VY and the infamous juke of Donovan Woods. Both are burned into my memory. Mine, too, though obviously for different reasons. Good God, those were good days to wear non-radioactive orange.
  12. I've thought about this a lot. It may be because we're related, but it doesn't change the fact that it is, in fact, my own opinion, formulated after genuinely thinking it over for far too many sleepless nights. The last several presidents who actually gave a shit what happens to most average people? Carter. Johnson. FDR. Lincoln. Washington. That's my complete list. I've read too much history to be convinced otherwise. We've been ruled by people who just don't give a shit for most of our existence.
  13. Jesus fucking Christ. When I was a kid, I loved Bonanza. 8 oz sirloin, baked potato, salad, and pecan pie. That's all life requires.
  14. "Look at the big brain on Brad!" Oh, wait. Brad's right. Never mind.
  15. Oh, it's not even a secret that they'll try. This is the funny part -- if they make enough noise about it, then Pelosi *really will* refuse to seat the 100+ Trumpkin reps who signed the seditious wet dream petition to SCOTUS, and either they accept Biden, or they get President Pelosi. If they don't make any noise, then they have too little standing, and some of the conspirators back out at the last minute, and they end up being put in history books as the lunatic two or three dissenters. This thing is all over but the medical footnotes.
  16. The bullshit won't stop until he's dead. A psychic friend of mine says that's in a couple of months. She has a 50/50 hit rate, so take it for what it's worth.
  17. I don't even like the Clintons. One little bit. But if you don't find their vote-casting today satisfying, you're a fucking cancer and need to be excised.
  18. You have no idea. I had to seek medical attention for a literal bust gut when I saw this for the first time. Laughed so hard, I thought the universe was going to end.
  19. He's gonna fuck a tranny prostitute at 82nd and Columbus?
  20. Hey, we've got at least a good a shot as the Roman Republic did.
  21. One of my favorite personal tropes lately is pointing out that Ausonius, the 4th century Roman poet, was unquestionably smarter than most people alive today. He was also wrong about virtually everything, and the more politcal something was, the more wrong he was about it. Political virology is an interesting study, but if you're living through a time at which it is most relevant, it will just give you ulcers, so it's best to ignore it.
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