I have limited experience here. My ex wanted an open relationship when I transitioned before we divorced. She had a crush on a guy and she was on the slow burn train to love, she was infatuated and I caught her pursuing him. So she says she wants an open relationship, sex and romance with a guy and sex, romance, family and life partnership with me. Okay I guess.
honestly I wasn’t a fan but I tried. I was frankly embarrassed by what a tool her love interest was, just a dweeb. He had terrible feet and wasn’t that good looking. He was shy, a hermit, super smart but whatever no social skills at all. So it was my turn. I found a hot lesbian, skinnier, better income, cool, easy going and DTF. We fucked. My ex asked “you’ve already found someone?” And I was like, “yeah.” She was kinda pissed that the trans woman had game. Sorry not sorry.
anyway, she finally got this schmuck’s attention and they went to Houston to get his passport renewed and hoteled up. I was like fuck that, my new love interest and I went to Tulum the same weekend. She had sex in a dumpy Houston hotel. I fucked on the beach, went off shore fishing with her and walked the streets of Cozumel in the rain holding hands looking for a killer hole in the wall dinner spot.
I got home, she got home, we kept doing this for a few more weeks including designated nights we didn’t have to come home. When I had my night away I bought her flowers so she had them to look at while I was fucking my girlfriend, I gave her a hug she cried it out I listened and said it would be ok. When it was her night she just left. We were fighting a lot, she was secretive I was not. She felt entitled, I felt like I needed to make it better for everyone. In the end I really didn’t think she had what it takes to make non monogamy work. I did not think she would put in the effort. We went to counseling and she proved my suspicions, I owed her this and she was entitled to do whatever she wanted my feelings be damned. To a degree ok I changed shit. But no respect, no consideration, just deal with it. All I wanted was assurances she would engage in the basic known requirements for a successful open relationship - she was like fuck that, you do you and I’ll do me.
i had a hot girlfriend now and I thought to hell with this and asked for a divorce. im now happily married to her and my ex is on boy friend number 2 I guess fuck if I know, don’t care.