I had that kind of love long ago, I once had a soulmate, it wasn’t meant to last a lifetime. Reconciling that perfection with the loss of it has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. I’m not sure it’s always ok with me but it just is. Well at the risk of telling a story that isn’t a fairy tale I’ll say this, I’ll walk with an emotional void and a limp the rest of my life. I really have no choice. But I’m ok, and you’ll be okay. And sometimes okay can really be spectacular. Definitely not now, but it can be in the future. But I know you are far from okay now.
I guess I just want to witness feeling dead inside or even worse while breathing in and out is a thing. And it’s okay. In the divorce thread I’ll occasionally talk about how to rise above and all the habits needed to make it through. Shit if that is the thing here - I seriously doubt it. I think just breathing is the only thing to focus on.
And not sure if wanting to be dead is a thing here for you, occasionally it is for me. I’ve learned for me it’s not really a desire but a thought escape. But just in case it is a thing for you in this time, the moment you think about how to do it like idle fantasizing about how to, when and where - that’s the time call someone. That’s the boundary line. Hurting so much you want to be gone is ok, thinking about doing it not so much. So you get there please call someone. If you want it to be me send me a DM and I’ll give you my number.
if that thought life isn’t a risk for you then you have the first thing you can be grateful for.
hang in there brother. We see you. And we will read every post and at the risk of being an obnoxious poster I’ll reply to every god damn one of them.