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Goo Punch

I hated that bird bath

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I broke that bird bath for you, cuz i knew you hated it, cuz we're the same. I hate that fucking thing too. A stork wrapped around a tree branch. That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen before. 

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You know how the plague started back in the day, was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone's backyard that rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS.

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A lot of people ask me, ‘Kenny Powers, you’re a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?’ And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it’s actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.

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I've been blessed with many things in this life: an arm like a damn rocket, a cock like a Burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist. So people often ask me, Kenny, what are your weaknesses? Do you have any? I would say that my biggest flaw, my Achilles heel, is my tireless work ethic.

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mpu


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