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SHOOTER12

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by SHOOTER12

  1. 11 hours ago, The University said:

    2d6.jpg

    This needs to be a fluid filled "shock resistant" meter.  As everyone well knows, aggy bullshit can hit so hard so fast a standard gauge would probably self destruct.

    • Like 1
  2. 15 hours ago, Newdoc said:

    In the early 80's I was a businessman who worked for commodities brokerage firm run by these two brothers. They were always fought about whether making it in business was due to your innate ability or a product of your environment.  One day, I ran into a street hustler named Billy who I assume was trying to rob me.  Called the cops and had him arrested. That's when the owners,  the two brothers decided to make a wager as to what would happen if I lost my job, and was shunned by everyone I know and then give Billy my job. So they proceed to have me arrested and to be placed in a compromising position in front of my then girlfriend. Basically, the only person who befriended me was the hooker they used to set me up.

    Yada, Yada, Yada, Billy and I figured out the scheme and showed those brothers that we weren't pawns in their game.

    "Mongo just pawn in game of life"

  3. The new rep thing keeps me confused.  I want my 3 million back dangit.

    So, is the trophy rep worth more than the "like" rep, or the haha rep?  Hate definitely would be negative, but I'm curious if the different + reps have different point values.

    • Like 3
    • Haha 1
  4. On 4/9/2018 at 4:46 PM, Don Keibals said:

    koff koff Whataburger koff koff

    When I get a carry out order at Whataburger I specify exactly how many ketchup packets I want.  "May I please have 5 spicy ketchups?"  So far no problem.  Used to be when I asked for "a lot of ketchup" I would get 2-3 at best.

  5. On 4/2/2018 at 9:36 PM, Okie State said:
    On 4/2/2018 at 7:04 PM, Vic Mackey said:
    There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on

    This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.

    All this time I was thinking you had t slow down 10 mph.  Lucky I haven't gotten stopped.

  6. 16 hours ago, After irth said:

    Bought a whole new bedroom set after remodeling our Master. My wife (no pics) is not high-maintenance at all. We’ve been in our place almost 3 years. Got the whole house the way we want it, gradually, within budget and at our leisure. The Master is the last room to see attention, so I am more than amenable to making the bedroom into what she envisioned. 

    Painted the walls a few months back, put in some shelves. One closet got redone last year. Little fixes here and there. 

    This weekend, went and bought new bed. New mattress (fucking awesome mattress).  New sheets to match the new colors in the room. New Duvet on order (yes, I am comfortable with my masculinity and still know what a Duvet is). 

    Yesterday. Everything is assembled. Put together. Reconfigurated. Cleaned. Dusted. Just the way we want. Got myself some nice fresh firm pillows to go with my new bed, mattress, sheets, etc. Gonna sleep like a mofo (we all know that mofos are well-known for their sleeping). 

    This morn, I ask, “How did you sleep?”

    ”Eh...I could use a new pillow. I think mine is wearing out.”

    What chaps my ass in this?  We have thought of nothing for the past four days about bedrooms and bedroom accessories, and she waits until now to remember that she might need a new pillow. 

    So...the sucker that I am. I go to the store today, buy her the pillow she normally likes. As usual, I buy 2 so she has a backup. I get home. I go to put the extra pillow in her closet...and there’s already one there...from the last time I bought 2. 

    Her response, “Well I don’t look up!”

    Currently trying to figure out who’s the bigger idiot. 

     

    TL:DR — Just kill yourself now...you can’t win. 

    Never, NEVER try to pick out a wife's pillow.   The time before last I bought new pillows for myself, she said to get her 2.  I asked her what kind she wanted, "oh just get me the same kind you get."

    Got home with the new pillows, and the next morning all I heard was about how horrible the pillows were, too hard etc. etc. why did you get those.  Fast forward to last week, I replaced my pillows and again she asked me to get her 2.   I just said OK, did my thing and came home.  "Where are my pillows? Why didn't you get my pillows?"   I simply looked at her and asked, do you remember what happened last time?  You need to get your own pillows.....TONE.

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