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AM Wood

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Everything posted by AM Wood

  1. got dayum. she must hump like a rabbit, tho.
  2. i'll take one of those ass herpes steaks and a large helping of the sink made potaty salet.
  3. this year for christmas let's all chip in and buy faith a fucking brillo pad.
  4. The monk handed him a twenty and the hot dog vendor gives him the hot dog and just looks at him. the monk says”hey, where’s my change” the hot dog vendor answers “change comes from within”
  5. possum bowls are going to knock bread bowls right out of the market.
  6. Mary looks like she had a vaginal delivery while one of the scooter guys was having anal with her.
  7. the guy making the noise with his lips should win an oscar for best soundtrack.
  8. AM Wood

    Need a ruling

    So, these are not people. This is a bunch of millennials that spontaneously all met at your house and you decided to feed them so that you could enhance your and your kid’s reputation. first- why are you hovering over these kids like helicopter parents? “Ermagerd they must be getting hungry. Let’s feed them all” second- either tell your kid to get them the Faulk out of your house because it’s dinner time, or go buy a bunch of food and drop it on the table and let them figure it out. Don’t hover over them and involve yourself in their incredibly stupid dramas. “Did you see cooper? He was so rude when he took the skin and put the rest back. His parents must not teach him well. We are so much better parents.”
  9. AM Wood

    Need a ruling

    I think you forgot 1 word.
  10. AM Wood

    Need a ruling

    The right thing to do is get someone else in on it first. “Hey will you eat a piece if I take off the skin?” ”sure, Dis guy a cheapskate doe”
  11. she is getting her story all mixed up with the one where jesus washes rosa park's feet.
  12. and a cutting board directly in front of a pan actually sealing it from getting washed. like, what are you thinking? are there little elves that come out with mops and shit and clean everything? wtf?
  13. I’m sorry that you can’t afford a fridge with a door alarm.
  14. even when it's frozen? what an asshole.
  15. looks like anxiety. try taking a kong and stuffing it with awesome treats and seal the opening with a thick plug of peanut butter. put it in the freezer at night, and give it to her in the cage in the morning when you leave. it'll take her a lot of time and effort to lick it and get the goodies on the inside. it's worked for a couple of my dogs over the years.
  16. That’s a long ass toe next to the fat one. Is it prehensile?
  17. Who takes the time to text while they are failing? “The vacuum, the filter, the kids..... blah blah blah texting”. a man would never do that. He would focus and quit failing and get the job DONE before even thinking about picking up the stupid phone. Women think they they are Facebook celebrities now and that everyone is interested in their mundane shitty lives.
  18. will ya look at the hamburger engineer over here?
  19. naw, c'mon. i hear her boyfriend is a real classy guy. he takes the dishes out of the sink BEFORE he pisses in it.
  20. that exactly 1 of vic's friends knows what delicious is.
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