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EtOH

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Everything posted by EtOH

  1. I’ve gotten drunk, sobered up, gotten drunk again and sobered up again. And I’m still at 2000 degrees F. This dick sack has to get run out of town this week. Fuck him and his dog. Fuck his pet fish. The cute squirrel in his backyard? Fuck him. A silenced .22 between his beedy eyes. Burn Tom’s shitty Westlake faux hoity toity chateaux to the ground. Kick him straight in the asshole and FUCKING CURB STOMP HIS DUMBASS FACE. He’s not the guy.
  2. Herman should have to win 9 this year because he’s a prick and he has a stupid face. Fuck Tom. I don’t like him. If he doesn’t win 9 I want him fired and I’ll hire a hobo to piss on his dog.
  3. Ever get so dehydrated on a bender during a Longhorns loss and spend the next two days trying to pass a nachos/brisket/popcorn log? That’s us trying to get rid of Tom Herman. Fuck this turd.
  4. Sobered up, got drunk again, sobered up again. Still think there’s time to fire Tom this afternoon.
  5. If Chris del conte fired Tom Herman this afternoon and replaced him with Orlando by the end of the season we would have the exact same record. Prove me wrong.
  6. You may be a good man and a heaven bound Christian, but fuck you straight in the goat ass for that.
  7. You don’t schedule Maryland to lose two in a row. This jackass needs to be fired the morning.
  8. This has me hating my football team, admins, players and coaches. Fuck all these punks. You don’t get a dime. Boys, work on your PE degrees. Maybe when I’m retired I can watch a good Texas team and at halftime drive over to the hills to piss on Tom Herman’s yard.
  9. I’m a big believer in signature moments. Folks don’t change. They are who they are, especially in careers. I was a big Tom Herman fan. Bought in. But this was the unveiling. That was unacceptable and he should be relieved, paid his contract, and shown to an Uber.
  10. He gotta go. Ain’t nothing going to change. It’s now a question of how many years will cdc give him to suck. He will be fired. We are in the trench for the long haul.
  11. Fuck him. Fire him tonight. Every day is wasted time. We know what we’ve got. And it’s a pile of soiled diapers. He’s a stack of shit. But Texas will suck for another three years because “You have to give him time...” FUCK NO. NOTHING WILL CHANGE. We saw it with Charlie. Nothing will change.
  12. Tom is fucked. He’s fired. The painful thing for all of us is that it will take three fucking years to actuate. We’re in the pit of misery until then and then who knows how long past that. I was big on Herman. Now I’m the first in line to piss on his lawn. I’m talking coffee/Redbull/tequila piss. I’ll knock down his mailbox flag. Shoot trap targets off his back deck in the hills. I want ol puss on his entire estate. Fuck him.
  13. I’ll be honest, I’m pretty fucking drunk during this delay. I’m ready to fire Herman for a complete lack of preparation. We watched 3 years of Charlie: nothing will change. Asiago cream cheese spread is good on bruschetta. Fuck Herman, let Orlando finish the season, burn it down. Run the bone.
  14. Fuck it. We’re an 8 win team if we get lucky. The Matrix Oracle says, sorry Tom, you aren’t The One. Time to move on. Can’t be this unprepared for Part Deaux.
  15. Everyone’s in position. The defense is going to the right spots. The reads are all accurate. But they spent the first quarter and a half doing a walk through. Like they were trotting through the plays, not actually playing a game. Not ready. Not ready.
  16. EtOH

    Uniform Pron

    This is why I save fireworks from the Fourth. If that’s the real color come gameday then Herman’s mailbox is getting Nagasakied.
  17. “Well, our coaches missed on all of their targeted recruits, and we have no returning seniors. The future looks bright.”
  18. Arky fans going full arky is fun. They have to lose tho.
  19. EtOH

    Fuck Cancer

    My Uncle took his 12 year old to MD Anderson for cancer treatment. She lived another 5 years. Pretty impressive outcome given that she was a Siamese cat. Pretty impressive connections and wallet too.
  20. EtOH

    Fuck Cancer

    Mom went in for bad heartburn two years ago. ER doc told her it was an esophageal hernia that they could fix. “Oh and you’ve also got stage 4 ovarian cancer” and left the room. I have his name and professional history and home address. I’ll give him back his personal kindness when I have the chance. Docs in south TX said, “well...we can make you comfortable for the next 3 months”. So I immediately moved her up to Austin in my neighborhood, got her some real docs and she’ll be at my kids’ lacrosse and baseball games again this spring. It’s come back but not today buddy. Not today.
  21. You want me to tell you about Texas Tech? They canned the greatest thing that ever happened to them, mike leach. Good folks but I think their prairie dogs are running their whole dirt school.
  22. Got a 9 year old boy. Neighbor has a 3 yr old girl. Last summer they played Marco Polo in the pool and so now she thinks he’s named Marco. We tried to tell her his name is —— but she looks at us like we’re crazy. “Nu uh. That’s Marco.” “C’mon Marco, play”. And like a good whipped guy Marco follows her everywhere.
  23. 90 Houston was peak loud. (Missou years later was nap time in preschool). Aggy has been exactly the same since homo heidelburgensis. And the best stuff I ever had was after Arky in 88. The SWC had it’s high points and the sewers couldn’t hide its lows. Fuck Arky, aggy and coog high forevah.
  24. You’re leaving money on the table. There’s at least that much in hoagies stuffed under the couch seats.
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