my god this page is hitting home and all sorts of feels. my mother died of cirrhosis four years ago. she actually didn't drink that much in her last 10 years or so, but she'd done so much damage the doctors thought she must still be a raging alcoholic. kidneys shut down, then everything else... everything MaC went thru, sounds exactly the same.
my sister is well on her way to the same end, and in complete denial. she 'controls' it, dries out for a month or so every year, thinks that takes care of it. she insists mom's biggest problem was she took too much Tylenol. π seriously. just last night she replied to a text at what was past 1am her time, sounding extremely maudlin...and almost certainly drunk on a weeknight with work this morning.
my dad's doctor told him before last Christmas to enjoy the holidays bc once the new year started he really needed to start pulling back on the drinking bc his liver was 'starting to show'. near as i can tell that had about zero effect.
that's every member of my family. i do drink but not anywhere near the volume or frequency of my family. i prefer to get high, good or bad. i used to drink more...but then my niece was born, and i became the only family member that would look around and say 'well somebody needs to stay sober and watch the baby'. i'm also legitimately solely a social drinker, i rarely/never drink alone. drastic difference from my family.
gotdamn MaC's story is heartbreaking and how you guys feel, the impacts...π
i'm likely going to go thru this personally two more times, including my much younger sister... and i'm just fucking resigned about it. my husband will get upset and yell about 'you need to tell her this' and 'you need to say XXX to her!' and i'm just like...why? i've said everything to her for 20, 30 years...it makes no difference. she won't even accept how our mother died... she's had a massive rift with her daughter that might be permanent, she's certainly not changing for her... she's moved to live near our dad so they can sit out in the country and get shitfaced together whenever they want... what on earth could i possibly say that would make one bit of difference at this point to either of them?
i know the answer, i accepted it many years back. BearSchlong has very wise words... y'all who lost a friend could have done nothing more than you did.
heartbreaking for all β€οΈπ€