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DeweyCox

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Everything posted by DeweyCox

  1. Grind their defensive dicks into the ground
  2. What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?
  3. Lincoln Riley could not sleep through this night. Too excited. Looch met him in the hotel stairwell, just after midnight, with a brand new bag’o’dicks. Things happened. His mind is nowhere near this game. He won’t shit right for two weeks.
  4. Lincoln Riley won an autographed poster of NKOTB for submitting the most entries to a fan club drawing for a chance to win a NKOTB leather jacket in 1993. His parents spent $2,800 on postage stamps alone. That poster is huddled around before every game as he leads the team in reciting the inspirational words of “Hangin Tough”. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Just a hangin tough.
  5. Lincoln Riley seldom uses turn signals and multi-space parks his PT Cruiser (with sun roof).
  6. Boyd. Hopefully he’s relaxed just enough for his instincts to simplify the mental.
  7. Lincoln Riley doesn’t wash his hands after using public restrooms.
  8. Lincoln Riley uses his empty chocolate milk jugs to catch fart bubbles while taking a bubble bath. He then sucks the farts into syringes to later inject into his lips. He calls this procedure buttox.
  9. Maybe the combination of Beck having a few days removed from the grind (time to reflect) and Tom getting a more isolated view of OC in Beck’s absence (this past week), fresh insight can emerge.
  10. Lincoln Riley doesn’t use turn signals in his convertible Sebring. His hands are too busy air-drumming to “I can’t drive 55” while he cruises 57 in the fast lane with a convoy in hot pursuit of folks who can’t wait to give him the “you’re #1” hand signal.
  11. Lincoln Riley wears floaties and pees in the pool.
  12. Lincoln Riley reads Playboy for the articles. Seriously.
  13. Lincoln Riley likes his steaks cooked well-done. He asks that they cut the cheese on his cheeseburgers. Also loves Zima.
  14. 10898617 JENKINS DEVONTA 1829852 09/10/2018 1803-0 POSS MARIJ <2OZ#FacesOfWeed AKA Stinkin Jenkins. He’s known to be a little farty, particularly around mugshot time.
  15. I believe you’re thinking of disco.
  16. I have no idea what preceded the situation, but it appears Alabama fan is the bigger bitch for slap/run, IMO.
  17. Private eyes are watching you. They see your every move.
  18. You’re probably right. Someone besides FCB should counter with The Cat in the Hat recommendation.
  19. According to Albert Einstein: “Genius is taking the complex and making it simple.” It kinda seems like we’re doing it wrong, if not backward.
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