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Certifiably Surly
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  1. I didn't have a fork to eat my leftover macaroni bacon concoction. But I did have some Doritos.
  2. As long as you say "at university" I'm pretty sure they have to give you dual citizenship. You may have to add a couple "on holiday" just in case.
  3. What happened is you have a hairdresser.
  4. So how about a nine year old pontoon on Decker with a couple Popeye's family packs?
  5. I know you've been told this your entire life and I'm just beating a dead horse at this point, but I can't help but pile on and tell you what a complete piece of shit you are.
  6. My Mitsubishi sunk your battleship!
  7. Imagine how much sooner he would have healed if the first responders hadn't fucked up so bad.
  8. What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
  9. Chicken fried steak was hard to find in Maine, but for a damn good old school breakfast lunch place the Brunswick cafe (in Brunswick!) was damn good.
  10. If you're ever in Petaluma get breakfast at Sax's Joint.
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