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Lou

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Everything posted by Lou

  1. George: You’re gonna over-dry your laundry. Jerry: You can’t over-dry. George: Why not? Jerry: Same reason you can’t over-wet.
  2. Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.
  3. Jerry: This isn’t a good time. Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir? Jerry: I have an idea, why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you back later? Telemarketer: Umm, we’re not allowed to do that. Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don’t want strangers calling you at home. Telemarketer: Umm, no. Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
  4. I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.
  5. Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...
  6. What about that time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job?
  7. I won’t say I did and I won’t say I didn’t, but I will say that a man who wouldn’t cheat for a poke don’t want one bad enough.
  8. Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
  9. Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
  10. Well, they call their fight song a war hymm and it begins, ""Hullabaloo, Caneck Caneck"
  11. I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis.
  12. #2 with fries, but need to try the onion rings.
  13. Besides a whiskey, I think we will require a little respect. . . . If you care to turn around, you will see what we looked like when we was younger and the people around her wanted to make us senators. What we didn’t put up with back then was doddlin’ service, and as you can see, we still don’t put up with it.
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