If team dick-stepping average was an official stat, these guys would be setting league records. Maybe not weighted dick-stepping average, but for sure in raw dick-stepping numbers.
They’ve improved their starting pitching DSIP (dick-stepping per innings pitched) since the first month of the season, but the bullpen DSIP is still up there. The BPDS (basepath dick-stepping) has always been a weakness, but is more apparent when the team also has high numbers in late-inning DPDS (double play dick-stepping), PODS (pop-up dick-stepping), and CSDS (clutch situation dick-stepping) . FEDS (fielding error dick-stepping) is also exceptionally high this year compared to the past.
Weighted dick-stepping numbers are calculated by how often the dick is stepped multiplied by how big the dick is. Pressly’s PPPE (past performance penis enhancement) crossed with his extraordinary dick-stepping rate this season gives him the highest WDSA on the team. Yordan’s WDSA is up there just because, well, you know… Yordong. Bregs and Hader are also having career peaks in WDSA. Surprisingly, Jose Abreu’s WDSA is actually quite low, but that’s because this man has no dick.