I get what you are saying and I think you are touching on something here. Some people on this thread and those donors who sent the emails want to be able to tell other groups the things they are allowed to be offended by. They are comfortable openly expressing the belief that they don't think a group of people have the capability to rationally navigate their own emotions, thoughts, and experiences.
At the same time, most of those people would be offended to be called a white supremacists. They genuinely hate Nazis, skinsheads, klansmen and all of it. Not a single swastika tattoo between them. Their line of thinking is white supremacy though, it just is. It's not as bad or scary as burning crosses in from of a black family's house. That's the active form of bad shit you reference. But this passive form of bad shit is really prevalent and harmful and it gets to the heart of everyone talking past each other.