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South Austin

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by South Austin

  1. Correction:
  2. Danger-Jew is the name of my polka thrash band.
  3. Your response was received after the deadline, which is construed as your resignation from Surly. Thank you for our service, and have a nice day.
  4. They're doing what good patriotic Democrats do in the face of a rising fascist autocratic regime -- bitching about it on an anonymous internet forum.
  5. They are, but the walks are now two hours and fifty-five minutes.
  6. You just ran out of time.
  7. God has a concept of a plan.
  8. Way to go, Kyle!
  9. Thank God he’s focused on the quality of high school football. Education? Please.
  10. Why the hell would Bullock merit a lifetime achievement award? She’s nowhere near the level of a Nicholson or Streep who deserves some sort of lifetime recognition. I say this as a huge Bullock fan. I generally like her movies. And as a personal aside, I stood in line behind her at the Starbucks off 5th and Lamar in 2001, and, if consent wasn’t in the equation, I would have taken her as my wife then and there. She’s even more attractive in real life. And she smiled at me! But as an actor she doesn’t have a ton of range. She was Southern Christian Sandra in The Blind Side. Gravity? Sandra in space. Speed? Bus Driver Sandra. Not sure why any Oscar voter would give her a nod based on a lifetime of work. I really do think it was just a down year and she won by default, not because she has this great Oscar-level body of work and just happened to lose several years to other nominated actresses. And maybe a few Oscar voters have also run into her at a Starbucks.
  11. I’m sure this news means Mack thinks he’s getting the next call from Sark.
  12. I don't know what you mean by "eco chamber," but I agree with 100% of what you just said.
  13. "This. This is the face of a Putin bitch."
  14. The tears of 600 MAGA voters is just fine for an afternoon fix.
  15. Take that shit to the muffin thread.
  16. They should consider themselves lucky they only got measles.
  17. He's going all in on a Supreme Court nomination.
  18. My throbbing hemorrhoid resents that comparison.
  19. I had something similar, except we were all brought to a special room where they told us it was nap time, and I woke up with a sore butt.
  20. Pretty much: Democrats: They've fired thousands of federal workers, broken up hundreds of families with ICE raids, formed a bromance alliance with Putin, and are shutting down numerous national parks. THE OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [posted on social media]. MAGA: They've elected Joe Biden in a fair election after several federal judges, some appointed by Trump, found not a shred of evidence of fraud. LET'S STORM THE CAPITOL AND KILL PENCE AND PELOSI!!!!!!!!!!!! [actually storms Capitol].
  21. I mean, it's certainly a real possibility, and all the more reason to hasten a "shit's going down" event sooner rather than later. But my guess is that this goes into another sheepish announcement of "Whoops, my bad," and Elon goes onto another episode of fuckery.
  22. I'm convinced that if The Shawshank Redemption had been re-named The Rock, it would've swept the Oscars.
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