Not an expert, but definitely know a helluva lot more than when all of this started.
We spoke with the principal by phone on Saturday and made a plan. Holding him out for a few days to figure things out. Looking at private special education schools, which is probably our preferred option based on anecdotal evidence from people we know and their results. Big downside is the cost. If we stay in public school we can either A) do nothing and force them to deal with it (obviously not what we are doing, but technically an option), B) have a person sit with him in school every day, all day, C) go through the district's testing protocols and placement procedures where he will probably end up in a behavior modification class at a different campus (not offered on current campus closest to our house). The problem with the last one is that the process can take 9 weeks. I floated the possibility of using our prior accredited testing to shorten that time frame. The principal is checking on whether that would be allowed. I sense that there is some bureaucracy and territorialism involved here, so our fate there might in the hands of a single person. We would still get the district testing done, but at least we wouldn't have to suffer so much for 9 weeks while we wait for that to happen.
I am actually not forlorn. I have moments of hopelessness, like the other day. The main reason is that we've done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK to get to this point. To see the effect of all of that be fucking zero is hard to take. But, I also know that this is a long, difficult process. Where we are in 6 weeks, 6 months, a year, two years from now will probably look very different. I've read a lot of stories and talked to a lot of people in similar situations and almost every one has a happy ending. I think eventually we're going to get a breakthrough and things will change for the better. In the meantime, my wife and I just have to keep grinding like we have been to support our son and to find answers and solutions.