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Bama Llama

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Everything posted by Bama Llama

  1. "Takeaway." Please stop using this word except when referring to defensive football.
  2. I'd pay good money to replace the suckass commercials we're bitching about for just one night with the Joey Heatherton Perfect Sleeper mattress ad and Farrah Fawcett Noxzema ad on a loop. Where's that fuckin time machine?
  3. The Russian dashcam compilations are a guilty pleasure. I love how the audio goes from bad music to an incredicly stupid collision to the driver yelling the Russian equivalent of "GOT DAMMIT THAT COCKSUCKER HIT ME I'LL KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER!"
  4. Put a spy on Hurts / randomly blitz from OU offense's right side / otherwise play like you've been playing / Horns win straight up, going away. Check highlights of 2017 Bama at Auboogers. Hurts was hapless; got so rattled at crunch time he rolled out backwards and ran out of bounds for a ten yard loss on 3d down and NEVER EVEN THREW THE BALL AWAY, leaving us at 4th and 20. He's poised until he's rattled. There's your game. I'm saying Horns by 13.
  5. Agree Charles White is not in top ten but I did personally see him run wild vs favored Bama in '78 in Bham. OJ's long game winning run vs UCLA alone (sorry SB) in '67 was enough to put him in the top ten. Note Bud Wilkinson calling OJ "this boy" in the clip. He and Chris Schenkel sound like Fred Rogers on the air. Too bad college OJ became psycho Bizarro head lopping killer OJ. The problem with excluding Doak Walker, et al., from the list is that you now have to put time brackets on the list and delete the "all-time." Shit, I'm channeling the county agent from Green Acres.
  6. Also karma for Peyton Manning reentering the field postgame to direct the Vol band from a ladder after big win over Bama @ Birmingham. Turtle-chinned dick. Nossir, I don't like it.
  7. Almost anything written by Carl Hiaasen is well worth reading or hearing. Stormy Weather, Skin Deep, Lucky You, Tourist Season, and more. Very sassifying stuff and will go dark on you in a heartbeat.
  8. That's what you surly fellers need to be mojoing up. I hate it, but we (Bama) are as thin at LB, OL, DL and experienced DBs as the mint John Cleese offered Monsieur Creosote. Did you see Ole Miss hang 31 on us Saturday? Unless big changes happen and soon, we are losing to LSU and the Boogs (heresy!). AP #1 in September means less than a Trump tweet.
  9. Agree 100% with the above post, RDCanecutter. The incessant stream of big pharma ads fucking cause health problems! If someone needs medical advice they damn sure don't need to get it from television. Eliminating big pharma ads should be the next battleground for the Surgeon General (does one still exist?). These karma vampires should be removed from all platforms. Someone very dear to me has their A-Fib somewhat under control but must keep a finger poised on the mute button or channel change button to get through a half hour of cable. And they definitely do NOT want to hear the two dozen harmful potential side effects of "Alphabetaphiloxipoppinhrpuffinstuffelol" and the like.
  10. That fuckin Lil Red is creepier than Pennywise.
  11. Louie Anderson is shaking his head at those two, saying "Ah, jeez! Just lookitum."
  12. Correction: 35-0 beatdown was 1991.
  13. Bingo. Bama played Gata in Gainesville six times prior to 1991 and won them all. The 1992 game story line was "Gators Winless at Home vs Bama." Final score: Gata 35 - Bama 0, and it wasn't that close.
  14. Hey, Down Syndrome people can't help it, it's congenital. Bear chooses to be an obese douche. ESPN is the bitch for believing anyone wants to watch him.
  15. Can we wait until December to disregard the Boogereaters on the Plains? As long as they have their present defense and Steele as D coord, they will be in every game. Boogs at LSU in a few weeks should be interesting.
  16. This rat cheer ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
  17. I was there when the "S-E-C! S-E-C!" chant was born. It was almost an afterthought. It happened in the Superdome in January of 1993 when Alabama pulled back the curtain on Miami. The game was almost dull with about five minutes to go and the outcome long decided. Some bored group of drunks started it up - "S-E-C! S-E-C!" and pretty soon it was thundering through the whole Dome. It was pretty cool then but only because we were winning the mythical championship convincingly and undressing Miami in the process. Now it's trite and overdone and obnoxious. I haven't heard it during an SEC game in years. Anyone claiming any conference is superior to another is full of shit. I have news for you. Alabama is one Hawai'ian ACL injury away from the Liberty Bowl. Wafer thin at LB, thin at RB, O Line adventures galore, pass rushers dropping like flies, PK can't even kick extra points straight. LSU and the Boogereaters on the Plains may both beat us as it is. No pessimist, just the way I see it. You guys have been the burnt orange monsters of the midway for 70 years. Bama has beaten UT what? Once in half a dozen tries! Excuse us if we enjoy some success now and again.
  18. Cocks offense was effective. Bama 88 successfully tightroped to the pylon but no review. That's at least two bad non reviews. Who sweats more, Muschamp or Gary Anderson? Danielson and Nessler were frequently lost. Danielson's voice grates nerves in the worst way. CBS director was constantly behind the action. Bama D is considerably off standard so far. Muschamp clock management at end of half was woeful. SC kicker can haul ass - the "hold" on Bama LB not even needed. Tua is a slantmeister. Based on what I've seen so far, we lose to LSU and the Plainsmen. Beyond that, who the fuck knows?
  19. Nothing much changes with Rice and Texas over the years. A thousand years ago on October 24, 1970, Texas played Rice in Houston. I was there, a goofy-ass Spalding Smails looking sophomore along with my shaggy haired Pythonesque roommates and my drop-dead gorgeous blonde girl friend all the way out from Alabama for the weekend. We had been to Bama vs. UH that afternoon at the world's smallest indoor stadium a/k/a the Astrodome. Rice Stadium was packed with 73,000 fans, about 3,000 of which were for Rice. People didn't go all apeshit wearing team colors in those days, but when the UT band struck up The Eyes, we found out really quick who was for whom. One of my roommates yelled out over The UT fans singing, "Shit! Y'all look, it's LBJ!" Sure enough, there he was, in what passed for a box seat in those days, high up on the 50 yard line on the side away from the press box. He wore a snow white Western cut suit and a huge white stetson. His hair was long and white, spilling way down over his coat's collar. When The Eyes ended, the P.A. guy introduced him to the crowd and he stood up again and waved the big stetson. He looked relaxed and happy. I think Lady Bird was there, but no one could see her. Then Rice ran back the opening kickoff for a fucking touchdown! We all went batshit because we knew that whatever else happened that night, we actually scored first on the mighty Longhorns. Final score, Texas 45-21. Bama had won earlier 30-21 over UH in front of a packed Dome (46,000). We were witness to Steve Wooster running roughshod over Rice players until they subbed for him. He was like a bull yearling running through a chicken yard. It was a great Saturday all around. That year Rice won the SWC in every sport except one. I married the gorgeous blonde in 1971 and she hasn't had me killed yet. Good luck Horns. Hope to see you in NOLA.
  20. Bevo would be happier on a real grass field. You could even put some bluebonnets heere and there around the outparcels. The Horns coaching staff must like this turf's traction factor or something because I damn well know the athletic department can afford a fresh real turf sod field every week of the year. This was one helluva college football game, the best I've seen since UGA and OU in that Rose Bowl. The drab-ass, shiny turf was literally the only negative for me. I expected the Horns to win going away and LSU to shit the bed with numerous procedure and personal foul penalties, but they showed more poise than is typical for LSU. This majestic showpiece of a stadium would be complete if it had a real grass field. Good luck the rest of the way, Horns. You guys should win out. I think the world of Jalen Hurts, but he has a hard time with multiple bogeys. When he starts bailing out to the right and going backward, the play's over. Thanks for a hellacious, entertaining game. Maybe you can return the favor next year in Baton Rouge.
  21. UGA was a 12-point favorite in January, right? So, Horns should beat LSU by what, eleventy million? OVER UNDER ADVENTURES 13 - LSU unsportmanlike-targeting-misc. personal foul major penalties 6 - LSU offense flagged for false starts because noise noise noise 10 - Time stoppages for LSU players with leg cramps or pretending to cramp 7 - Gratuitous close up crotch or cleavage shots of LSU Golden Girls (please, oh please) 5 - Gratuitous close up ass shots of Texas chaps babes 67 - UT band plays Texas Fight! 13 - LSU fans to ER for one reason or another 8 - Chris Fowler screams TOOOUUUUCHHHHDDOOOOWNNNN! 0 - Missed LSU field goals All a yiz sonsabitches who get to be there in person better have an epic blast. Ole "Llama will be watching and pulling for quality football and hoping the refs stay out of it.
  22. Reuben is like that memorable lyric in "Hungry Heart": "Like a river that don't know where it's goin', I took a wrong turn and I just kept goin."
  23. Sorry, Go Pokes, I have no idea what you're talking about. I've only had one screen name since I signed up on Surly. I used to be on the Shag but I lost track when I thought it had died. Careful, Go Pokes, a 15 year old Russian punk hiding in his Babushka's hall closet may have hacked you, brother.
  24. Last Tango got my attention when Brando said, "Get the butter," and I rather liked it. I prefer it to 95% of films since Last Tango. If your eyes are dry during Casablanca when the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold sings out during "La Marseillaise," you may have reptilian DNA. I drove 35 miles and paid ripoff prices for ticket, popcorn and a soft drink only to find myself nodding off during Spectre, the latest Bond film - a waste of the actors', producers' and my time and money. This thread is so beautifully bizarro - name "best" movies we saw but didn't like <or> didn't see but were somehow "best"? - I am 16 again, staring at an SAT answer sheet as my #2 pencil snaps in two. But it's stimulated some good movie posts so fuck it - good on the OP.
  25. As long as the consignment duds and your son's face and hair are reasonably clean, the judge won't give a shit. I saw a lady judge send a guy home to get his nasty ass cleaned up and change clothes, made him wait when he got back to the end of the docket, then threw the book at him. It's a respect thing.
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