Essentially you're about to become an expert in kids like your son. The education starts now. Lots of books, podcasts, youtube, seminars, meetings with children's health professionals, support groups, etc. I wouldn't trust anyone but you and your wife's instinct and knowledge. I would try to get some good books recommended to begin to build your foundation of knowledge. Parenting techniques, diagnosis of all kinds, Lots of personal success stories and failures, new styles of teaching and parenting, old styles of teaching and parenting, etc.
Are you good at becoming an expert at something? Looking for answers on the outside can be a very empty pursuit. It's all about you and your wife. What are you willing to teach yourselves, and can/will you begin to implement changes to your household. Remember one thing almost everyone agrees on. It's nature and nurture. Don't be overwhelmed by guilt but also remember that you two are the most important pieces for his getting prepared to live his life. You might not be able to pass this off onto school employees.
It's like undergrad now to build your foundation of knowledge and then as you begin to learn about his specific needs, go to "grad school" so you can specialize your knowledge based on your kid and how you want this journey to unfold.