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Everything posted by closetojumping
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I consider myself a moderately intelligent person and I have no fucking clue what this means. I read it three times and still got nothing. It’s similar to when someone goes on a rant about misusing the term “begs the question”. They do it with conviction and so I feel like “man, they must be right, but I have no fucking clue what they’re trying to teach me here. “ I do know one thing though, if this level of pedantry doesn’t bring this thread to a screeching halt, nothing will. -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
The Apple Turnover game. One of the shittiest games of that period. I cannot believe there is still this kind of energy around the Simms/MA period. What boring shit. -
I've asked about Brooks and I think your theory is correct. 3 different groups have confirmed that they know of no injury and that he's also not getting any run for PT in the Ohio State game. While it would be hilarious if Lockett just straight up beat out Jaggy to start in game 1, the guy Bobby is referencing is almost certainly Littleton.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
We're all subjective except for Sydney. He's our idiot savant. -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
We've all seen your jocksniffing photos. They're not bonafides. You're a Westlake honk who happens to be involved with work that intersects with college athletes in Austin sometimes. -
All of the attention from opponents will surely frustrate at times, but I am confident Simmons will still post big numbers. I feel like natural and instinctive pass rushers are one of those groups in sports who always wind up getting theirs over the course of a season. If it isn't Littleton, who the hell else would it be? One of the WRs? Are you telling me that Jaggy has already been displaced by one of the newcomers? Can you please post that image again? I want to be able to text it randomly to my buddies during the game when his 360 pound ass is getting ragdolled sideways by Eddrick Houston.
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Yes, a long, long time ago.
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You're formerly TaylorTRoom, I've always presumed. Correct?
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
Weren't you there with me? It's been a long time. But, yes, some fatass woman with a tiny husband and two pre-teen kids was getting into her minivan and turned around to a group of us and started yelling that "texassss sucks" and other inanities. I told her she needed to drop a couple hundred pounds and stop embarrassing her little husband and idiot kids in public. I believe her son now posts on this site as @Chewbacca. -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
The only time in my life in which I have vomited while perfectly sober and healthy was in the parking lot of the Cowboys' stadium immediately following that game. It sucks that we lost the content from Shaggy. One of my favorite threads was one I created on the recruiting board that tracked Swoopes' performance his senior year of high school. There were a great many posters on Shaggy and 247 who argued in support of Mack Brown's choice to take Swoopes instead of JT Barrett as some sort of "trust the corchez!?!" amazing evaluation. "He's the next Vince Young!" was posted numerous times, including in an article with that title from Howe on 247. Reading about that guy slowly going 1-9 or 2-8 with terrible stats at his 2A high school had some of them pulling their hair out throughout that fall. I appreciate Swoopes for what he was at Texas, but, man, those were dark times as a fan. -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I like Ehlinger fine as a former player. I liked him at Texas fine for the most part. I thought he sucked as a freshman and called him a loser before he went on to have solid rest of his career, making me look like an idiot as he did so. I have acknowledged I was wrong on the loser comment on the old Ehlinger thread. It doesn't prevent folks who really, really love Ehlinger from bringing it up any time I hurt their feelings on something else. You see one of our resident Westlake lovers doing that here because I apparently don't appreciate Klubnik to the appropriate levels that his Clemson performance demands. Regardless of all of that, it's never not fun to rile up those with I Am Sam sensitivities. To your point about that 2020 OU aftermath, I will also always appreciate Ehlinger doing what he did. And fuck Caden Stearns forever. I will never value that asshole as a former player. -
I'm not guaranteeing a win. I'm merely pointing out the absurdity of the claims being made about all of these suddenly conjured OSU "advantages". They have one clear advantage - they possess the best WR room in the country. Never mind the fact that Texas held JJ Smith to 3 yards and 1 catch 8 months ago, I acknowledge freely that the OSU WR room is awesome. Outside of that, these are 2 of the 3 best rosters in college football 2025. Anyone claiming a bunch of OSU advantages otherwise is attempting to read the future in tea leaves. "New guy" meant new starter. I figured that was kind of obvious. Guilbeau has been at Texas for 3 seasons. He won't be new to the field either. Peoples looks fine. You're comparing him to a room with multiple players ranked higher than him out of high school or with better numbers and experience than him in college, and Baxter has him in both regards, and then saying "gee, I think we might have a better RB room". That's objectively comical.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
You don't have to feign giving a shit about players that aren't from Westlake. Anyone who has been on this site for any period of time knows that you're a Westlake stan first and foremost and anything else, including Texas football, is an afterthought. Just one other thing, though. The next time you're masturbating on a Zoom call with Sam, will you do the rest of us a favor and ask him if Texas is back? -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I've developed the opinion over time that it would be great to see Texas bring Simms back for a game on the sidelines with some sort of happy hat tip to the guy. I know that's problematic since half the stadium is likely a bunch of idiots who might boo him and there's really no way he belongs in the Texas HOF or whatever it's called. Maybe it would just be great if Sarkisian invited him to come down for a practice and an interview or something. It's just always bothered me that idiots ruined his relationship with his alma mater. His signing with Texas made a giant fucking difference for the program from a national POV early in Mack Brown's tenure. -
You're not going to gaslight a board of fanatics who have studied your team for 9 months and actively monitored your forums and read all of your insider updates as if they were our own. -You do not have 4 returning OL starters. Starting a few games in the playoffs or post-injury is not what classifies a player as a returning starter. If that were the case, Texas also has 4 returning OL starters because Hutson has started like 14 games in his career, Goosby started 2-3 late last year and Robertson started a game or two back in 2022 or 2023. -TE is debatable. You guys love your guys and Klare is a stud. Texas loves Endries and its other guys as well. Both programs have highly ranked guys in the TE room and both starters put up great numbers for mediocre to shitty teams last year. You guys seem to want to clearly demarcate an advantage there and it's bullshit. -Downs =/= an entire secondary. You don't even know who is actually going to start at the other safety spot yet. Igbinonigniminious is a penalty machine. He was burnt more than bad toast last season and forced into PI and holding penalties against anyone of value. The other CB position will feature a new guy. Texas also returns an AA at Safety. Texas also returns two other starters at Safety/NB and a better returning starter at CB in Muhammad than what OSU has in Igbo. Texas is in the same position of putting a new, highly recruited starter at CB, whoever wins the job. -Texas evaluated Peoples and passed. We were fine as recruitniks watching you guys take him out of state. Donaldson has taken more bullets than a gun range dummy and Bo Jackson is actively in the process of passing him on the depth chart. Texas has 5 guys it can rotate at RB, one of whom is a returning 1,000 yard rusher and two others who were classified as the highest rated RB in the country coming out of high school. So, no, Ohio State doesn't have some sort of RB advantage. -You and everyone else talking about Manning being advantaged over Sayin simply because he's taken more snaps are whistling past the notion that Manning might also just be a lot fucking better than your 5'11' statue with a nice hairdo. -None of this matters as much as the disadvantage your OL will actually have on the field against the Texas front 7. That imbalance doesn't shake out in the other direction. Good luck keeping your QB upright on Saturday.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I negged you not because you have a dumb fucking take, which you do, but because you're new here and seem to be under the impression that there aren't consequences for being voluminous and just spraying the board with stupid shit. Rep is sadly our only currency, but it can be used to ultimately crowdsource out early new poster stupidity. -
I know this is pathetic, but one of the most entertaining periods as a poster on the longhorn boards for me spanned from the hiring of Charlie Strong to the aftermath of the first Notre Dame game in year 2. I was miserable as a fan of the program, but being on the boards was somewhat therapeutic because there were posters everywhere showing their true colors as absolute imbeciles. Beyond some sort of idiotic personal need for Charlie Strong to actually be worth a fuck, and tied to that, was the constant rationalizing of Shawn Watson as a legitimate choice and employee in the role of Offensive Coordinator. It was cheap entertainment, but I'm not a snob. Lampooning people pitching for the guy "after watching film on YouTube" before the 2014 season all the way through "Watson has completely overhauled the offense!" heading into the 2015 season was the only happiness I could find as a fan at that time. Jeff Howe wrote a series of articles on 247 that 2015 summer with insider quotes and his own analysis about how the offense was being changed. I would show up on the thread for each article with one or two sentences mocking his takes and a mass of $9.95er lemmings would climb over themselves to attack me and defend Howe and Watson. Pulling all of that up after the 38-3 wonderment in South Bend was one of the most gleeful and villainous moments of my posting experience.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
Maybe we have different definitions of the word "overrated". Who is even rating the three guys you referenced? I'm talking about players that are beloved or liked by the masses for perceived performance. Anyone talking up those three for any reason besides one game against ND for Swoopes or a couple of early season ethereal tilts in like 2015 for Heard is out of their fucking mind and not worth having discussion. I don't even recall anyone ever speaking about Gilbert's time at Texas positively. You can't swing a dead cat around Texas fans without someone telling you what a great QB Sam Mehlinger was/is. To me, this is night and day. I am not saying I Am Sam sucked, far from it. -
Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet
closetojumping replied to Coach pop a bitch's topic in Football
I find it kind of sad that you both saved posts from 7 years ago and also feel some sort of need to recall them, but I'll humor you due to your effort. Ehlinger is the most overrated player to have ever taken a snap at Texas. He was a fine concussed battering ram for Tom Herman when there was a need for that, but you and others stan for him as though he's some sort of deity. He had an okay record in college for a guy with the accuracy of WW2 bomber scope and he's managed to hang on as a fringe guy in the NFL. We'll see him glomming on to the Texas media machine for a paycheck soon enough and idiots like you can jack off to his image regularly when that happens. So you have that going for you. Or maybe he'll go sell real estate with other former spare QBs like Chance Mock and Case McCoy, I don't know. When you clowns attempt to reference posts about Ehlinger being a mediocrity as some sort of "receipt", I laugh. Like not metaphorically, but literally. It's one of the things a few of you cling to that you think bothers me in some way, and I find it predictable but sadly entertaining, like watching reruns of Cheers. The guy was okay in college. That anyone finds his college performance as some sort of validation for their fandom speaks to the reality that there is always a dumbest person on a thread or a board. The world needs the simpleton, God love'em. -
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Some freshman class talk on Bucknuts, plus some hilarity where they attempt to claim that they're doing things above board, but Texas, Notre Dame, and Michigan are all behaving unfairly with NIL and recruiting. I actually think these people are stupid enough and naive enough to believe that they're actually clean when they've been cheating since the day Urban Meyer showed up on campus. Dumb motherfuckers, all of them.
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