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closetojumping

Burnt Ends
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Everything posted by closetojumping

  1. I mostly agree with this take. The $9.95ers and the WuLaws continuing to think Collins would be on anyone’s radar before the 6th round has fascinated me. I don’t get it. He’s not going to get rave reviews from his coach, his film has flashes between deserts of wasted plays, and his measurables can only take him so far. As to Kitan Crawford, I am open for business on the betting side with that one. Name your dollar figure and I am in if you think he’s getting drafted in the 2024 draft.
  2. Getting onto the SEC Rant/Tiger Droppings board for posters here is like the old Internet “how many?” conundrums. “How many barehanded midgets would it take to kill a lion?” How long could we continue to post there before being banned and having charges pressed for psychological abuse in various shithole southern towns?
  3. Good grief. Jesus Shuttlesworth was originally a sock for Trips Left/Trips Right on Recruitocosm. Nahlin was Magnus Blueveiner and Typsy Gypsy on BC and Recruitocosm. They were buddies. Eventually, multiple mods were using Shuttlesworth when they moved over to IT. The whole idea behind the handle was to use it when you’re going to make something up or spread something in public that you don’t want coming back to your handle or identity. At least, that’s what it eventually became on Recruitocosm and appears to have been carried over as an approach at IT. The Kelly post looks like someone trying to “scoop” everyone else with a shot in the dark. If it happens, hey, we’re geniuses. If it doesn’t, people forget. It devolved into nefarious shit. I was there for it at the beginning and as a founder and Recruitocosm. When they chose to start making shit up or stealing other peoples’ work, I bowed out of posting on Recruitocosm any further. But I wrote the original article and was there for the dawn of the phenomenon that always made me shake my head. But hey, Nahlin parlayed it into bigger things for himself, so there’s that.
  4. What’s with Filsaime being labeled a 4 star all of the sudden? He’s been a 5 star the entire fucking cycle.
  5. I get that you guys need to work through the Ryan Williams fantasy, but it seems totally pointless.
  6. I’ve never been to an Applebee’s yet in one of more bizarre twists of my 25 years in longhorn netdom, I’ve somehow been accused of having been at one. Good to know more about a place I hope to never visit. I watched Scrooged a few nights ago. I always forget how fun the ending is even though it is obviously a take on the Christmas Carol and that should be a given. Bill Murray really is hatable in the first half of that show.
  7. I’m in Vegas. Taking my wife and friends to Garth Brooks tonight for her birthday. I’ve got a few problems with Garth Brooks destroying country music, but whatever, they’ll have fun. Anyway, some of our buddies are friends with the Raiders GM. We got to go down on the field last night before the game and then they hosted us in the GM suite, which was fun. While we were on the field, I spotted Cole Hauser and spoke to him. Nice guy. Bigger than you’d think. In the pic below, my wife is 5’10”. She’s leaning into him, but still, he’s taller than you’d think. Got to see Montell Jordan fuck up the national anthem. That had to have made social media, right? We spoke to him on the field as well and he was sober as a preacher. Not sure what happened for him but I felt bad. I started giving the Raiders GM, Champ Kelly, some pointers late but I don’t know how interested he was because he kept walking off to talk to other people and I kept having to catch up in order to extol more virtues about the current UT roster.
  8. Back in the GoBig12 days an insider named “sure” would come on every now and then during a a recruitment with a lot of drama around and write something like the following: Aurmon Satchell lives in an orange house. free. And that would be that. He’d send the board into a tizzy and not return. This carried on to Hornfans. The poster’s other handle was “sua sponte “. Not sure if he’s still around or alive but it was fun. Of course, Nahlin can’t even get that shit right because he’s now doing what he started out doing with his readers, because that is all he has without guys doing the work and having the connections - actively lying. The made up take on Golden is … golden. There will be plenty more of it.
  9. If I could explain the who and the how on this one, you’d all laugh your ass off and absolutely believe it. If an agent scratches that language in the new deals, the aggie NiL folks do cave, apparently. As it relates to Nolan, remember what I said about the house in The Woodlands. It’s going to take a big package to justify them letting themselves get kicked out. I assume no other program is stupid on that level, so he’ll be back and flashing for a fifth of the defensive snaps every game in prep for his 5th round selection in the 2025 draft. Also, Texas had zero interest after confirming their suspicions after one phone call with the Nolan camp.
  10. One thing the aggies are trying to do in their new NIL agreements is a notion of a grant of rights. Even if a player goes elsewhere and makes NIL money, the money goes to the Aggie United shit. If the player doesn’t transfer the money, the aggie NIL fund is telling the players they’ll sue. So someone somewhere is supplying Hamm with some legit info about the idiotic and desperate shit the aggies are trying to do in order to plug holes in the leaking dam.
  11. Apparently Nolan wants high six figures, similar to what he got out of high school. No one is offering close to that. If Nolan leaves ATM, the house in The Woodlands is no longer available. Nolan’s dad is looking for a great second deal and a place to stay. Texas has zero interest. I assume this idiot comes back to CS and the aggie declare victory unless someone like Auburn or Oregon get really stupid.
  12. Okay, so, seriously, Melko came in and reset everything that had been sold due to limited budget. Hence the big time guys pushing back to Feb or decommitting. With a limited kitty, Melko wants to focus on quantity in the portal and if big time recruits want to get uppity, ATM was too tough for them in the first place. This keeps getting better and better.
  13. I have to tell you, I don't know if I can handle this if it is true. They are speculating on the aggie 247 board that, because Elijah Robinson is still an employee at Texas A&M and because he is currently the active head coach, his in-home visit to McKinley may count as ATM's official head coach in-home for that recruit. I mean, surely not, right? But, if so, hahahahahahahahahaaha!!
  14. We've been able to source more than a few anonymous interviews over the past few days to get a firsthand understanding of how things are going out of the gate in College Station now that Coach Melko has hit the ground there like an ELE-level meteorite. Let's see how it's going: -Regarding the visit to DJ Lagway's: "He ate most of the coffee cake and just sat there eating and heavily breathing while whichever assistant that was with him spent the entire meeting talking shit about Florida." -Seeing Ty Smith at home: "He brought with him a musical instrument case, it seemed. I thought maybe he was going to show us his saxophone skills or something. He never touched the case or mentioned it until after my mom served him coffee and they were about to leave. He opened the case and pulled out a plunger, then disappeared into the restroom for a bit. He's definitely got his own approach." -On a Zoom with someone committed to a rival SEC school and their mother: "We're not sure he knew we could see him. He had to have thought that his camera was off, right?, and we didn't know what to say. How do you tell a grown man that he needs to go put a shirt on?" -On a call with a current DB recruit's mother: "There was a lot of heavy breathing. I'm not implying anything sexual because I don't think that was the case. I just mean the man needs to see a doctor. It was a lot of deep breathing and wheezing and then he'd start in on how tough his teams were going to be and then more long pauses with deep breathing." -After the in-home with Ashton Funk and his dyed in the wool aggie parents: "Things got uncomfortable. Coach Elk got really aggressive when it came to Jimbo Fisher. He called him a bitchmade pussy and questioned the mom on why she had an autographed of the two of them together. She remarked that they had a good relationship with Coach Fisher. Coach Elk then belched loudly and declared to no one in particular that 'motherfucker tore the goddamned thing down to the studs and now I have to start with Katy redasses for the build-up. Christ!' The parents have since burned the Jimbo photo and they're excited to send the Funkmeister to Aggieland." -While sitting down at Terry Bussey's house with Colin Klein (we think) joining: "Coach Elko walked in with a plastic handle of Clan McGregor and demanded that he and the dad break bread together. The dad enjoys a good pull off of a handle every now and then, so they made fast friends. There was a younger assistant there trying to talk about the importance of run blocking for WRs in his 'scheme' and things took an awkward turn when Terry politely asked 'Who is this guy?' That didn't go over well with the assistant, who sighed, slunk down in the couch, and simply said 'You're going to remember The Darth Kleiner, I promise you that." If any of you have heard any other nuggets from families or friends that you know who have a kid involved with an aggie recruitment, feel free to add to what we work with here.
  15. Sadly, I knew what I was doing when I launched the prior post’s throwaway comment into orbit. And it’s morbidly entertaining to witness. The turning of the turrets toward our resident incel was a nice surprise though.
  16. The biggest reason I don't want Texas going after Nolan is that I don't think he's a needle mover. He's fine as a player, but he was overranked and that's continued to be a problem. He thinks he's better than he is, he's on his own snap count for plays per game. He's softer than kitten shit. He has no interest in conforming to a team's culture. Let him go merc it up somewhere else. I will be disappointed if Texas does anything there other than lob in the courtesy phone call.
  17. Melko apparently ate most of the coffee cake and just sat there eating and heavily breathing while whichever assistant that was with him spent the entire meeting talking shit about Florida.
  18. There are a mountain of things to criticize from that imbecile's reign of error at Texas and the majority are legitimate and have absolutely nothing to do with skin color or any other hot button issue in our culture. The guy was just overwhelmed with the role and the whole period was a debacle from beginning to end. Board behavior during those 3 years was quite absurd and I don't think any Texas fan can look back on that period fondly.
  19. Fisher's bidders bought the Nolan family a nice house in The Woodlands, so there's no rest for the weary here. Visit Texas and they could be under attack in both aggie stronghold towns.
  20. This reminds me of one of my favorites, of anything, ever: -Watching an entire fanbase, for an entire offseason, talk themselves into believing that Shawn Watson really was "changing the offense" only to see the same shit trotted out there against Notre Dame as they pummeled Texas on national television and we continued to be a national laughingstock. I argued the entire offseason that that shitsack was not changing a fucking thing and everyone was being delusional for taking Charley at his word on that. Once I got past the misery of the Irish embarrassment, I ran amok on 247 and, I think, Shaggy, where a bunch of dipshits had swallowed the company line hook, line and sinker.
  21. Jake Johnson has been pretty fucking quiet. Why not just announce for UNC if that's what you're doing? That one would be delicious.
  22. Sweet tangent. I'll play. Contenders: -Losing to Kansas -Losing to Kansas again -TCU buttfucking Texas in public to the tune of 50-7 -Pussies crying on live television begging Texas not to fire Chuckles after a 3rd season of complete ineptitude -Flying the school brass to Tulsa to land a 3rd rate OC -Tom Herman and the sledgehammer -Tom Herman flipping the ESPN cameras off -Arkansas 2021 - Not SEC good enough as a chorus across the media -The Eyes debacle during the pandemic -Shithead Najee Harris "Who Texas?" -Shutout at Iowa State -Being up 28-7 on OU and then bending over and showing us Oh man, so many good ones from which to choose.
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