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  • immamac
    The most interesting thing other than the Bijan run (which we will get into later) that happened this last week is that WE FINALLY SOLVED THE MYSTERY. We figured out who Steve Sarkisian looks like.
       
     
    Blammo, we can not put it to bed. I know it has been bothering Longhorn Fans all over the world ever since Sark was announced to be the new HFC at the Great University of Texas. 
    Back to your regularly scheduled badassery. Check this run out.
    If this doesn't get the blood pumping to your special parts, then you don't like longhorn football and you can now close out the article, because what we are about to talk about is only for those willing to enter the Burnt Orange Cathedral that Bijan and Co. are building.
    Bijan Robinson is the truth, he cuts on turf like a tarpon darts through the shallows off the coast. He is truly in his element on the field and it's going to be something special to watch in the upcoming season.
    But wait, this grown ass man would like a word:

    RoJo should still starts - he isn't RB2 at this point, due to his incredible physicality and gift for creating yards where there are none to be had. There will be a true 2 headed monster coming out of the Texas Backfield this Fall and it's going to be glorious. 
    I almost forgot in all the excitement to talk about SCHOOLER switching to safety. Yep, you heard that right - he is officially moving away from WR and moving to Safety for the '21 season. 
    I mean check out these 2 mean ass dudes, BJ Foster and Kitan Crawford - these dudes look ready to shut down anything coming their way.

    With that we get into pure and rampant speculation because we have absolutely dick to go off of as far as film, or anything else. The 9.95ers got the opportunity for some media availability with Sark, Okafor and Gbenda. All completely worthless information given in all the interviews. 
    Sark's summary could be - he's not bummed about what he sees and thinks that the team is responding well to his regime and the way they do things.
    Okafor's summary could be - I want Casey to starts, I like to play football, the NFL may be a thing for me now that I don't have a completely shit coach after having 4 OL coaches in his time here through 3 regimes.
    Gbenda's summary could be - You all know I'm not as good as some of the great linebackers, but I'm trying to be real good. 
    We had a CTJ sighting, basically giving us all a glimpse into how we need to feel going into next season:
    and with that we have basically ended the week knowing absolutely nothing more than we knew last week. Things around the program and with the players definitely feel  much different than past years. Maybe...just maybe we will get a glimpse of some real footage when All Access returns on the 23rd, right before the spring game on the 24th!
    I'll again leave you with my current mood. Beast Mode: Bring it.

     
    Hook 'Em

    immamac
    As we wrap up the first week of full pads, full speed practice I thought it would be a good time to give our surly readers something to digest over the weekend and going into next week. 
    In true 9.95er fashion, I'm going to make up all kinds of things and nothing, I mean nothing in this post is going to be worth a damn as far as insider information is concerned, but it's going to get your blood pumping and make you think you know a lot more than anyone actually does about what is going on in spring practice.
    That being said, lets start here.
    I mean wow is all I can say. Can Sark change his entire offense to just be punting on first down every time? I am pretty sure that after watching this video even when punting on first down that the team. Just kidding - in all seriousness did you see how fun they have made running sprints in practice?
    D'Shawn Jamison is a grown ass man, and it looks like his teammates are loving what they are seeing. One common thread that we can see from the absolute control that LHN and Longhorn Social Media has put out is the level of physicality in practice is among the highest we've ever been able to witness. No "Country Club" atmosphere to be seen.
    There is also a strange aura glowing around each of the players as they have media availability. It's a mix of excitement, nerves, trust and swagger that combine into something that gives us a glimpse into how the leaders are perceiving this coaching staff. There is a common theme in every one of the players and what they say, Faith. Something that is even stronger than trust is the foundation that is being laid out by the staff right now and the more we see the players trusting their teammates, their coaches and themselves the stronger that faith will become. 
    Other things and happenings, we have a sighting of Hudson Card's teeny tiny hands, slangin' what seem to be perfect spirals down field. We get glimpses of passes down field from snaps from inside the program like this one from Josh Moore's snapchat:
    The defensive side of the ball is getting adjusted to it's new scheme, but what is really impressive is how freakish the athletes are and how quick they are to commit to changing their bodies or positions in order to win. Keondre Coburn is now on record talking about what his playing weight needs to be and his goal is to stay on the field for as many snaps as possible without being tired or having to rotate out. We have Tyler Owens shifting around trying out different positions. We have Jacoby Jones flying all over the practice squad stunting on people and most unexpected of all, fresh blood from the outside, Ray Thornton being the guy stepping up to fill in Ossai's role of BAMF.
     
     
    There is a lot to be really excited about right now, the players know it, the fans know it, the athletic department knows it and most of all the coaches know it. I don't think Sark was expecting to have as deep and as talented of a team, I also don't think he knew how hard the key players and leaders were willing to work in order to starts.
    As cheesy as it sounds, one thing that really resonated with me from the completely open and transparent conversation we had with Shark McCulloch was how serious Sam was all the time. I can't help but think that mentality permeated those that remained and the way every single player talks about Sam and the void he left from a leaders perspective, they talk about the new guys that are filling that void. 
    Speaking of voids that needed to be filled. Another exciting thing happening around the program this week has been the open invitation of some of the most successful Longhorns to step foot on the 40 acres to come back. Listen to what they have to say.
     
     
    There has only been a handful of times that have been this exciting in the offseason to be a Longhorn fan, we have a lot to look forward to. Build the Burnt Orange Cathedral and may we have Faith in the Longhorns once again. I'm going to leave you with my mood right now, All Gas No Brakes.
     
    Hook 'Em 

    RGBIII
    I am 2 bottles of wine deep and just switched to vodka but I have to get this stream of consciousness out now otherwise it will die within my drunken mind. Sorry @immamac if I am not doing the article thing right. But anyway, I have been reflecting heavily on this coaching hiring/firing and where all the 995ers have been receiving their info, given their info and basically what they have been told and when. Like I said, I am drunk and liable to get drunker by the time I hit submit, however I think I have a good bead on these aspects and I am looking for your feedback to see what needs to be changed. For reference, I am a subscriber to IT, TFB and 247 but obviously Surly is my bottom bitch and that Oatmeal Cream Pie Puta Ketch will never receive a dime of my money as long as I live, and the only reason I subscribe to the rest is to post to Surly because as you will soon see...they are worthless (besides IT to an extent). So pour another Cutty Sark, order another McRib and Let's GO!
    -OB-Fudge Round Fucker(aka Ketch)-Lets start with the one I know the least about and have no interest in learning more...there are a select few on this board that have posted Jiggly Goochs info on this site (don't blame y'all for going on OB....but also it is a terrible life decision) but the message I have seen, has been consistent of...they literally don't know shit. Ketch ran with the bullshit CDC statement, same as FCB and others, however he was the first to 995er to hedge. I recently listened to his YAK podcast (Fuck me, that is how slow work was last week) and he could not have back pedaled faster unless there was a snickers within his prereferral vision ...basically he blamed CDC for not being in control and wholly seemed out of the loop.  Some of his posts seemed legit ripped from IT, this was days after they posted the info. I think OB hitched their wagon to Herman early, and once the Herman train left the station they were left scrambling, (Anwar being Hermans mouthpiece was adorable). Simply put, they are worthless...HEY KETCH, EAT MY FUCKING HONEY BUN ASSHOLE (Receiving info from admin/CDC and some donors who have lost their self respect)
    -AAS- Good God Damn...I don't think they even deserve a section but some dumb ass will comment if I don't. Brian Davis and Kurt Bowels are the most worthless "journalists:" that call Austin home. They need to be disregarded fully, they are fed information that Texas higher ups needs to be shared, otherwise the only info they may have is the new special at El Arroyo or some funny cat video. They should be disregarded entirely in all facets of media, unless they do actually find a funny cat video then hit my PMs. Hey Brian Davis and Kunt Bowels...EAT MY FUCKING TAINT!  (They know less than a devout member of the Amish community)
    -TFB- Ok @OnAComputer yall surprised the hell out of me. I completely disregarded your coaching search sources as well as yall throwing out Sark as an option....let alone as the favorite as Super K stated damn near a month ago...I am legit impressed... HOWEVER, you also ran with the CDC bullshit and recently ran with the whole Texas is going to retain Herman and then back pedaled and said that Herman could be replaced almost 60% or better....I enjoy TFB a lot for recruiting and they may be the best bunch of dudes in the 995 sea but there is something missing in their coverage. Also why is there no board on your site? I need more unverified/unknowledgeable  random strangers to post some shit (Good dudes and honestly shocked they have been this accurate)
    -247- FUCK YOU CHIP BROWN, YOU ARE A MISERABLE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO NOBODY LIKES! YOU ARE A MOUTHPIECE OF CDC, I WOULD CALL YOU A LAP DOG BUT PEOPLE LIKE DOGS! AND NO ONE LIKES YOU! IMAGINE WORKING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO CREATE SOMETHING AWESOME AND THEN BEING SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT THAT YOU COULD NEVER REALIZE THAT DREAM. NO ONE LIKES YOU, YOUR COLLEAGUES DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU DO NOT HAVE SUPPORTERS. YOU WERE FED ONE KERNEL OF INFO SOLELY BASED ON YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING LAP DOG. YOU REPORTED THAT HERMAN WAS RETURNING AND YOU IMMEDIATELY BACKPEDALED. YOU ARE NOT A JOURNALIST, YOU ARE NOT A NEWS BREAKING REPORTER, YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE JOKE. IF I WAS IN CHARGE AND YOU WERE MY ONLY OPTION TO REPORT NEWS, I WOULD YELL OBSCENTITIES INTO A WHOOPIE CUSHION AND LET MARK MANGINO SIT ON IT INSTEAD OF FEEDING YOU.... FUCK YOU CHIP, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORTH....Apologies to Mike Roach, Nick Harris, Jeff Howe and the others on the Longhorn Blitz, yall are awesome and I cannot wait for yall to get poached by a semi decent site....FUCK CHIP BROWN!
    -IT- Burton has been a complete game changer for them in terms of credibility and connections. They were the ONLY site to state that Herman was out regardless of any other scenarios.  All other sites ran with the CDC narrative but IT did  not budge whatsoever....that said they also were not the first to report Sark or that Herman was gone. I think they may have ran a foul of CDC and Admin solely because of their unwavering. It is so brutally honest who was fed by admin and who wasn't. Obviously IT is getting fed by the BMDs   but if they are the ones making the move than we know who we need to be paying attention to. Between Nahlin and Burton, they have the only information I pay attention to out of the 995er world. The admin seems to not be as favorable however...
    - Surly- I am drunk, you are drunk, we can remain drunk...hopefully Sark doesn't. Let's go hire a fucking baller ass staff and win some big ass games. FUCK OU, FUCK AGGY, FUCK CHIP BROWN! HOOK EM!

     

    'stache
    Horrible bowl name, but the best matchup outside the NY6 (only one involving two ranked team). We're apparently favored by 1 point. Not sure why. Hubbard won't play. Tylan Wallace will play. Spencer Sanders is still a turnover machine. Gundy tends to let loose in meaningless bowl games so maybe we will actually have a decent offensive performance. Either way, hopefully it's a good mid-afternoon game before you guys throttle Colorado. 

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    • Spring Practice Updates - Offseason Sucks Edition
      The most interesting thing other than the Bijan run (which we will get into later) that happened this last week is that WE FINALLY SOLVED THE MYSTERY. We figured out who Steve Sarkisian looks like.

         
       

      Blammo, we can not put it to bed. I know it has been bothering Longhorn Fans all over the world ever since Sark was announced to be the new HFC at the Great University of Texas. 

      Back to your regularly scheduled badassery. Check this run out.

      If this doesn't get the blood pumping to your special parts, then you don't like longhorn football and you can now close out the article, because what we are about to talk about is only for those willing to enter the Burnt Orange Cathedral that Bijan and Co. are building.

      Bijan Robinson is the truth, he cuts on turf like a sheepshead darts through the shallows off the coast. He is truly in his element on the field and it's going to be something special to watch in the upcoming season.

      But wait, this grown ass man would like a word:


      RoJo should still starts - he isn't RB2 at this point, due to his incredible physicality and gift for creating yards where there are none to be had. There will be a true 2 headed monster coming out of the Texas Backfield this Fall and it's going to be glorious. 

      I almost forgot in all the excitement to talk about SCHOOLER switching to safety. Yep, you heard that right - he is officially moving away from WR and moving to Safety for the '21 season. 

      I mean check out these 2 mean ass dudes, BJ Foster and Kitan Crawford - these dudes look ready to shut down anything coming their way.


      With that we get into pure and rampant speculation because we have absolutely dick to go off of as far as film, or anything else. The 9.95ers got the opportunity for some media availability with Sark, Okafor and Gbenda. All completely worthless information given in all the interviews. 
      • 8 replies
    • First Week of Full Pads Spring Practice 2021
      As we wrap up the first week of full pads, full speed practice I thought it would be a good time to give our surly readers something to digest over the weekend and going into next week. 

      In true 9.95er fashion, I'm going to make up all kinds of things and nothing, I mean nothing in this post is going to be worth a damn as far as insider information is concerned, but it's going to get your blood pumping and make you think you know a lot more than anyone actually does about what is going on in spring practice.
       

      Hook 'Em 
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    • My Tech alumni dad:¬† I guess loyalty means nothing to Chris Beard

      Me:  Are you loyal to Tech?

      Tech dad: Of course

      Me: Why?

      Tech dad: Because I graduated from Tech

      Me:

       
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      Scottie today
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