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  • 995ers..I am on to your shit...


    RGBIII

    I am 2 bottles of wine deep and just switched to vodka but I have to get this stream of consciousness out now otherwise it will die within my drunken mind. Sorry @immamac if I am not doing the article thing right. But anyway, I have been reflecting heavily on this coaching hiring/firing and where all the 995ers have been receiving their info, given their info and basically what they have been told and when. Like I said, I am drunk and liable to get drunker by the time I hit submit, however I think I have a good bead on these aspects and I am looking for your feedback to see what needs to be changed. For reference, I am a subscriber to IT, TFB and 247 but obviously Surly is my bottom bitch and that Oatmeal Cream Pie Puta Ketch will never receive a dime of my money as long as I live, and the only reason I subscribe to the rest is to post to Surly because as you will soon see...they are worthless (besides IT to an extent). So pour another Cutty Sark, order another McRib and Let's GO!

    -OB-Fudge Round Fucker(aka Ketch)-Lets start with the one I know the least about and have no interest in learning more...there are a select few on this board that have posted Jiggly Goochs info on this site (don't blame y'all for going on OB....but also it is a terrible life decision) but the message I have seen, has been consistent of...they literally don't know shit. Ketch ran with the bullshit CDC statement, same as FCB and others, however he was the first to 995er to hedge. I recently listened to his YAK podcast (Fuck me, that is how slow work was last week) and he could not have back pedaled faster unless there was a snickers within his prereferral vision ...basically he blamed CDC for not being in control and wholly seemed out of the loop.  Some of his posts seemed legit ripped from IT, this was days after they posted the info. I think OB hitched their wagon to Herman early, and once the Herman train left the station they were left scrambling, (Anwar being Hermans mouthpiece was adorable). Simply put, they are worthless...HEY KETCH, EAT MY FUCKING HONEY BUN ASSHOLE (Receiving info from admin/CDC and some donors who have lost their self respect)

    -AAS- Good God Damn...I don't think they even deserve a section but some dumb ass will comment if I don't. Brian Davis and Kurt Bowels are the most worthless "journalists:" that call Austin home. They need to be disregarded fully, they are fed information that Texas higher ups needs to be shared, otherwise the only info they may have is the new special at El Arroyo or some funny cat video. They should be disregarded entirely in all facets of media, unless they do actually find a funny cat video then hit my PMs. Hey Brian Davis and Kunt Bowels...EAT MY FUCKING TAINT!  (They know less than a devout member of the Amish community)

    -TFB- Ok @OnAComputer yall surprised the hell out of me. I completely disregarded your coaching search sources as well as yall throwing out Sark as an option....let alone as the favorite as Super K stated damn near a month ago...I am legit impressed... HOWEVER, you also ran with the CDC bullshit and recently ran with the whole Texas is going to retain Herman and then back pedaled and said that Herman could be replaced almost 60% or better....I enjoy TFB a lot for recruiting and they may be the best bunch of dudes in the 995 sea but there is something missing in their coverage. Also why is there no board on your site? I need more unverified/unknowledgeable  random strangers to post some shit (Good dudes and honestly shocked they have been this accurate)

    -247- FUCK YOU CHIP BROWN, YOU ARE A MISERABLE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO NOBODY LIKES! YOU ARE A MOUTHPIECE OF CDC, I WOULD CALL YOU A LAP DOG BUT PEOPLE LIKE DOGS! AND NO ONE LIKES YOU! IMAGINE WORKING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO CREATE SOMETHING AWESOME AND THEN BEING SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT THAT YOU COULD NEVER REALIZE THAT DREAM. NO ONE LIKES YOU, YOUR COLLEAGUES DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU DO NOT HAVE SUPPORTERS. YOU WERE FED ONE KERNEL OF INFO SOLELY BASED ON YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING LAP DOG. YOU REPORTED THAT HERMAN WAS RETURNING AND YOU IMMEDIATELY BACKPEDALED. YOU ARE NOT A JOURNALIST, YOU ARE NOT A NEWS BREAKING REPORTER, YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE JOKE. IF I WAS IN CHARGE AND YOU WERE MY ONLY OPTION TO REPORT NEWS, I WOULD YELL OBSCENTITIES INTO A WHOOPIE CUSHION AND LET MARK MANGINO SIT ON IT INSTEAD OF FEEDING YOU.... FUCK YOU CHIP, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORTH....Apologies to Mike Roach, Nick Harris, Jeff Howe and the others on the Longhorn Blitz, yall are awesome and I cannot wait for yall to get poached by a semi decent site....FUCK CHIP BROWN!

    -IT- Burton has been a complete game changer for them in terms of credibility and connections. They were the ONLY site to state that Herman was out regardless of any other scenarios.  All other sites ran with the CDC narrative but IT did  not budge whatsoever....that said they also were not the first to report Sark or that Herman was gone. I think they may have ran a foul of CDC and Admin solely because of their unwavering. It is so brutally honest who was fed by admin and who wasn't. Obviously IT is getting fed by the BMDs   but if they are the ones making the move than we know who we need to be paying attention to. Between Nahlin and Burton, they have the only information I pay attention to out of the 995er world. The admin seems to not be as favorable however...

    - Surly- I am drunk, you are drunk, we can remain drunk...hopefully Sark doesn't. Let's go hire a fucking baller ass staff and win some big ass games. FUCK OU, FUCK AGGY, FUCK CHIP BROWN! HOOK EM!

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    1 minute ago, RGBIII said:

    See a lot of folks commenting on my underlying alcoholism/Sarkism but it is also 1am soooooo time to take a look in the mirror

    Its 2 here on the east coast and im trying to put the baby back to sleep..

     

    That being said, use your powers of drunk deduction and figure out which site will be plugged in with the new regime...

     

    and drink more... it is not like you are already going to feel like ass in the morning.. .

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    Just now, nunna yo bizness said:

    Yeah, he may need someone to help him restock the liquor cabinet.

    Changed to 2. Checked the trash, I’m drunk but not as bad as I thought...I think

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    2 minutes ago, Laxtonto said:

    Its 2 here on the east coast and im trying to put the baby back to sleep..

     

    That being said, use your powers of drunk deduction and figure out which site will be plugged in with the new regime...

     

    and drink more... it is not like you are already going to feel like ass in the morning.. .

    Nah, I’m good...wife is getting the youngest in the morning around 7:30 and I’ll get the oldest when she wakes up around 8:30. And it will be interesting to see who will actually be the mouth piece this time around. I think FCB is going to be desperate after losing Burton, plus OB already had their chance. However, IT seems to want to monopolize this beat and I could see them try to get engrained quickly

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    4 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

    Changed to 2. Checked the trash, I’m drunk but not as bad as I thought...I think

    Outstanding.  So now you can have that third bottle of wine and not feel guilty since you already thought you drank it.

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    I’m jealous, tried to get drunk but my wife, kids, and Mack Brown killed my buzz.

    PS, I hope it isn’t random plastic bottle vodka from circa 1997 just sitting around in your bar. If so, 8:30 will not happen tomorrow.

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    3 minutes ago, nunna yo bizness said:

    Outstanding.  So now you can have that third bottle of wine and not feel guilty since you already thought you drank it.

    I mean, you spoke this into existence...let’s go

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    2 minutes ago, runthebone said:

    So they suck to varying large degrees, amiright?

    Yes that is the boiled down point without question, but at least IT didn’t honestly believe that god awful vote of confidence...how hilarious was that

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    RGBIII as he delivers the truth to his people:

    i have arrived bajirao mastani GIF

     

    God fucking bless the University of Texas, god fucking bless America, FUCK CHIP BROWN, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY IT IS 11:21 IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA, AND OU STILL SUCKS!

    Edit: Oh and that would be 9.95

    Edited by TheFlyingBoat
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    I went ahead and reported your article. Felt like the right thing to do. 

    And yeah, 3 bottles of wine is a feat. 2 used to be a pretty standard night for me, but making it to the end of 3 usually resulted in a drunken blur over the next 12 hours (including waking up the next morning). That's closing in on 20 drinks @ 14% ABV.

    (I'm assuming you aren't drinking something gay like vinho verde or prosecco)

    Edited by ztejas
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    26 minutes ago, TheFlyingBoat said:

    RGBIII as he delivers the truth to his people:

    i have arrived bajirao mastani GIF

     

    God fucking bless the University of Texas, god fucking bless America, FUCK CHIP BROWN, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY IT IS 11:21 IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA, AND OU STILL SUCKS!

    Edit: Oh and that would be 9.95

    I read this as "Ruth Bader Ginsburg The Third as he delivers the truth to his people"

     

    and for a second it made total sense that RBG might as well have a grandkid that's a thirty year old persian dance ring leader capable of leading the people. And maybe that's what we need right now.

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    2 minutes ago, cam4mav said:

    I read this as "Ruth Bader Ginsburg The Third as he delivers the truth to his people"

     

    and for a second it made total sense that RBG might as well have a grandkid that's a thirty year old persian dance ring leader capable of leading the people. And maybe that's what we need right now.

     

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    2 hours ago, RGBIII said:

    I am 2 bottles of wine deep and just switched to vodka but I have to get this stream of consciousness out now otherwise it will die within my drunken mind. Sorry @immamac if I am not doing the article thing right. But anyway, I have been reflecting heavily on this coaching hiring/firing and where all the 995ers have been receiving their info, given their info and basically what they have been told and when. Like I said, I am drunk and liable to get drunker by the time I hit submit, however I think I have a good bead on these aspects and I am looking for your feedback to see what needs to be changed. For reference, I am a subscriber to IT, TFB and 247 but obviously Surly is my bottom bitch and that Oatmeal Cream Pie Puta Ketch will never receive a dime of my money as long as I live, and the only reason I subscribe to the rest is to post to Surly because as you will soon see...they are worthless (besides IT to an extent). So pour another Cutty Sark, order another McRib and Let's GO!

    -OB-Fudge Round Fucker(aka Ketch)-Lets start with the one I know the least about and have no interest in learning more...there are a select few on this board that have posted Jiggly Goochs info on this site (don't blame y'all for going on OB....but also it is a terrible life decision) but the message I have seen, has been consistent of...they literally don't know shit. Ketch ran with the bullshit CDC statement, same as FCB and others, however he was the first to 995er to hedge. I recently listened to his YAK podcast (Fuck me, that is how slow work was last week) and he could not have back pedaled faster unless there was a snickers within his prereferral vision ...basically he blamed CDC for not being in control and wholly seemed out of the loop.  Some of his posts seemed legit ripped from IT, this was days after they posted the info. I think OB hitched their wagon to Herman early, and once the Herman train left the station they were left scrambling, (Anwar being Hermans mouthpiece was adorable). Simply put, they are worthless...HEY KETCH, EAT MY FUCKING HONEY BUN ASSHOLE (Receiving info from admin/CDC and some donors who have lost their self respect)

    -AAS- Good God Damn...I don't think they even deserve a section but some dumb ass will comment if I don't. Brian Davis and Kurt Bowels are the most worthless "journalists:" that call Austin home. They need to be disregarded fully, they are fed information that Texas higher ups needs to be shared, otherwise the only info they may have is the new special at El Arroyo or some funny cat video. They should be disregarded entirely in all facets of media, unless they do actually find a funny cat video then hit my PMs. Hey Brian Davis and Kunt Bowels...EAT MY FUCKING TAINT!  (They know less than a devout member of the Amish community)

    -TFB- Ok @OnAComputer yall surprised the hell out of me. I completely disregarded your coaching search sources as well as yall throwing out Sark as an option....let alone as the favorite as Super K stated damn near a month ago...I am legit impressed... HOWEVER, you also ran with the CDC bullshit and recently ran with the whole Texas is going to retain Herman and then back pedaled and said that Herman could be replaced almost 60% or better....I enjoy TFB a lot for recruiting and they may be the best bunch of dudes in the 995 sea but there is something missing in their coverage. Also why is there no board on your site? I need more unverified/unknowledgeable  random strangers to post some shit (Good dudes and honestly shocked they have been this accurate)

    -247- FUCK YOU CHIP BROWN, YOU ARE A MISERABLE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO NOBODY LIKES! YOU ARE A MOUTHPIECE OF CDC, I WOULD CALL YOU A LAP DOG BUT PEOPLE LIKE DOGS! AND NO ONE LIKES YOU! IMAGINE WORKING YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TO CREATE SOMETHING AWESOME AND THEN BEING SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT THAT YOU COULD NEVER REALIZE THAT DREAM. NO ONE LIKES YOU, YOUR COLLEAGUES DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU DO NOT HAVE FRIENDS AND YOU DO NOT HAVE SUPPORTERS. YOU WERE FED ONE KERNEL OF INFO SOLELY BASED ON YOU ACTING LIKE A FUCKING LAP DOG. YOU REPORTED THAT HERMAN WAS RETURNING AND YOU IMMEDIATELY BACKPEDALED. YOU ARE NOT A JOURNALIST, YOU ARE NOT A NEWS BREAKING REPORTER, YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE JOKE. IF I WAS IN CHARGE AND YOU WERE MY ONLY OPTION TO REPORT NEWS, I WOULD YELL OBSCENTITIES INTO A WHOOPIE CUSHION AND LET MARK MANGINO SIT ON IT INSTEAD OF FEEDING YOU.... FUCK YOU CHIP, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WORTH....Apologies to Mike Roach, Nick Harris, Jeff Howe and the others on the Longhorn Blitz, yall are awesome and I cannot wait for yall to get poached by a semi decent site....FUCK CHIP BROWN!

    -IT- Burton has been a complete game changer for them in terms of credibility and connections. They were the ONLY site to state that Herman was out regardless of any other scenarios.  All other sites ran with the CDC narrative but IT did  not budge whatsoever....that said they also were not the first to report Sark or that Herman was gone. I think they may have ran a foul of CDC and Admin solely because of their unwavering. It is so brutally honest who was fed by admin and who wasn't. Obviously IT is getting fed by the BMDs   but if they are the ones making the move than we know who we need to be paying attention to. Between Nahlin and Burton, they have the only information I pay attention to out of the 995er world. The admin seems to not be as favorable however...

    - Surly- I am drunk, you are drunk, we can remain drunk...hopefully Sark doesn't. Let's go hire a fucking baller ass staff and win some big ass games. FUCK OU, FUCK AGGY, FUCK CHIP BROWN! HOOK EM!

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    9.95 bullshit are leeches on your program and an impediment to success. If you're paying for that garbage you're part of the problem keeping your program hosed in mediocrity. Maybe if there was only 1 of them but 5 or 6 competing ones trying to one up each other with lies and bullshit to make a buck? That's a recipe for disaster in a social media world. 

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    What I don't understand about media folks being pissed about CDC's statement is how they misinterpreted it in the first place.  The number one rule of statements from a school or even a pro owner about coaches is only look at what they don't say.  This is the only useful part of the statements.  How do they not understand this yet?    CDC never said Herman would coach a game in the 2021 season.  You could have stopped reading it at that point because that was his kiss of death.  The usefulness of that statement is a whole separate thing.  It was dumb for CDC to have issued it.  It didn't help recruiting because it was so lukewarm that he immediately had to clarify it.  There were lots of rumblings that he did that all by himself against the advice of others and I think that's probably right.  It was a pointless fuckup, but Tom Herman was the coach at Texas in 2021.  It may have only been for 2 days, but it was technically correct.

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