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Kel Varnsen

do you ever yearn?

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I'm not saying I'm a major catch, and I certainly love my wife of Lo These Many Years...but seriously, Brad Hall?  Brad fucking Hall gets to be married to her?  The bastard child of Bill Gates and Slenderman? 

He gets to be married to a woman who is more gorgeous and funny and rich than basically any other woman on our planet?  And that guy?  I'd love to say "Good for you, Brad."  But no, fuck him.  Her global fixed income portfolio, the tits, and the worst season of "Old Christine" are way above his paygrade, nevermind the rest of the package of goodies.  

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1 hour ago, Lobo said:

I'm not saying I'm a major catch, and I certainly love my wife of Lo These Many Years...but seriously, Brad Hall?  Brad fucking Hall gets to be married to her?  The bastard child of Bill Gates and Slenderman? 

He gets to be married to a woman who is more gorgeous and funny and rich than basically any other woman on our planet?  And that guy?  I'd love to say "Good for you, Brad."  But no, fuck him.  Her global fixed income portfolio, the tits, and the worst season of "Old Christine" are way above his paygrade, nevermind the rest of the package of goodies.  

WHYYYYYYY

 

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Hey, I'm not stupid.  I'm looking in the first drawer, there's no can opener.

Did I say you were stupid?

Well wouldn't I have to be?

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I’ll take three... make it ten... twenty sponges should be plenty... twenty-five sponges should be just fine... just give me the whole case and I’ll be on my way. 

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Listen honey, the Alex is a family theater.  Not one of your swing joints.  

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 I think the blind would probably be a little messy around the house. And lets face it, they're not going to get all the crumbs. I'd possibly be walking around with a sponge.

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You know as painful as it is I had to let a few people go over the years. Yogi Berra, Lou Pinella, Bucky Dent, Billy Martin, Dallas Green, Dick Houser, Bill Virdon, Billy Martin, Scott Marrow, Billy Martin, Bob Lemmon, Billy Martin, Gene Michael, Buck Showalter, … uh, tut!, . . .George, you didn't hear that from me. 

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