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GhostOfTomJoad

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by GhostOfTomJoad

  1. So WVU going in dry on North Carolina in the Duke's Mayo Bowl and the Mountaineer fans are so proud of this big accomplishment they do the horns down to the camera after the return from commercial.
  2. Reading this thread while watching this is [emoji102]
  3. They think their savior Jesus was a blonde beach bum from California who was wrapped in a red white and blue blanket and his mother Mary kept a .38 special in her purse. That's all the learnin' they ever needed from those teachin' ladies at school.
  4. This Team Tucker? Oh no, I see it's worse.
  5. Funniest thing I got was a fucking ultrasonic denture cleaner. No, I don't wear dentures. But a month ago I got my first dental mouth guard to wear at night & prevent me from grinding my teeth when I sleep. Apparently I picked up that habit later in life since, you know, stress and shit. So Mrs GOTJ got one over on me when I unwrapped that box. Oh, I've got 12 months to come up with a suitable gift as a retort.
  6. Gotta respect the Raiders' ability to just run it right down the Chief's throat when they need it most to ice the game. That stadium shot coming back from the commercial looks a lot like Kyle field most games.
  7. Man, I can still hear the Hamm's jingle in my head from over 40 years ago. Hamms, Pfeiffer's (now THAT was cheap beer) and Grain Belt were staples amongst my MN and WI relatives. Just had the xmas phone call w/ my old man. He asked if Mrs GOTJ and I were starting a new "tradition" since the card we sent them didn't have a GC in it that was the same denomination as the one they sent us. I told him that yep, the only family getting gifts/cash from us were kids 18 and under. I guess he finally accepted we weren't bluffing anymore and took it with relative ease. But that may be due in large part to him being surprised to receive cards this year from both my oldest sister AND her oldest daughter for the first time in over a decade. There was a massive falling out when her oldest daughter graduated from college in Greeley, CO and my dad's she-devil evil bitch of a wife caused a ridiculous scene because she misread the ceremony instructions which caused them to arrive 3 hours early from their home in Fort Collins--an oh-so-taxing 40 minute drive away-- and of course that non-issue became a big fat hairy deal, culminating in the bitch publicly humiliating the graduate at a restaurant. My sister and her husband had enough and let out a good 10-15 years worth of anger later that night and effectively severed ties, telling my dad that they weren't going to subject themselves or their daughters to the toxicity of my dad's world. The graduating niece and her younger sister (who graduated from the same school the next year; my dad & his wife weren't invited) have happily gone about their lives since with minimal contact with their grandfather and the evil bitch. Anyway, sis has made good strides over the years with her journey and time in therapy. Our old man's pushing 80 so she's making small but meaningful acts of reconciliation by sending the occasional email and now an xmas card. Dad was stunned by this move (because he has been trained that a grudge is a grudge forever). He critiqued the card as being "not very festive" which had me biting my lip. But he was really surprised by the card he got from a name he didn't recognize with an address in New Mexico to discover it was a photo card featuring the granddaughter he hadn't seen since making an ass of himself and the entire table at her graduation, her husband and the 5 year old great granddaughter he never knew he had. Not that a great grandchild would matter much. He doesn't acknowledge the two great grandsons the younger granddaughter has with her husband. So it was an awkward call with me as he was recounting his surprise and wondering if I'd known about these "developments." Umm, yeah...dad. People who aren't more concerned with perpetuating grievances and perceived slights for over a decade enjoy the beauty and wonder of being actively involved with family members. It's called reciprocal love. No strings attached. What a concept! After the call I imagined him sitting there in his big, beautiful place in Fort Collins. Amassed with all of the shit he and his wife have bought over the years. And how empty and hollow that place must feel and sound. He's got grandkids and great grandkids within a day's drive in NM and SD that he'll never see if he doesn't have his Ebeneezer Scrooge visited by Marley's ghost moment. What a waste.
  8. We're all playing for second place behind him. It is known.
  9. Dallas can't stop the run when they need to. That's always the difference.
  10. That was a baller move by your dad. I bet people ran for the fucking door.
  11. Had a great brunch with the niece & nephew. They got matching symbolic tattoos yesterday & had some drinks in downtown ATX. Nephew had a serious case of the beer shits & about destroyed the downstairs bathroom. I should have lit the candle as soon as they walked in the door. Turkey is roasting in the oven and Mrs GOTJ let me stuff her earlier today so I am way ahead on the festive cheer scale. Peace, y'all. The surly family is weird, wide & diverse. But it's the one I enjoy visiting the most this time of year. [emoji319][emoji250][emoji90][emoji482][emoji869]
  12. Jefferson is other worldly.
  13. Didn't he have to spend $25mm+ to get his plane back off the ground? I thought it needed a new engine and an extensive overhaul. I know that's a drop in the bucket compared to how much he's "stollen" from the GQP, but it's a start.
  14. Lulz. Well, I guess 45+ years ago as a kid in MN my grampa didn't have time for all of the etiquette. When his hands hit his knees it everyone was heading for the door like the building was on fire. Greatest memory of Grampa was watching as he and Gramma pulled up in their big Chrysler New Yorker. Except they didn't stop. They slowed, and then drove off. I watched this from the living room window and called out "hey Dad, Gram and Grampa just drove by and left. Aren't they coming for dinner?" My old man responded by asking me what time it was. I glanced at the clock and said "4 o'clock." He said "look at it again. What's the EXACT time." It was like 3:58. He said "when it's 4 o'clock on the dot, they'll be here." Sure enough, Gramps just drove around the block, pulled in at 4, and when they came in the house he checked his watch against our wall clock to make sure they were in sync.
  15. Once you've uttered "welp, I s'pose" after placing your hands on your knees in a Midwestern home you're required to exit within 90 seconds. It's damn near law in Minnesota! How could they violate this rule?
  16. The gold standard. It will definitely be missed.
  17. Nah. I just have to promise not to let the nephew get too drunk on mimosas because he & his sister are going to their mom's immediately afterwards. Like it's my responsibility to keep a junior in college from drinking too much before visiting his overly high strung mom?
  18. Man, that really sucks. Glad your wife and daughter are ok. And fuck the guilty lady with a rusty nail. Sounds like a piece of shit. Hell, the stranger who hit me couldn't be nicer. She was crying over what she had done & genuinely contrite. We've exchanged text messages a few times just checking in & making sure everything is ok, making sure insurance info is correct, etc. She's actually restored some of my faith in their being good, responsible people out there. I just found out yesterday that our adult niece & nephew are coming by on Christmas eve for a pancake brunch & mimosas. That will be fun. But now it's time for me to go pick up the HEB curbside order. Something tells me they'll be busier than most Saturday 7AM slots.
  19. Oooh, she just dropped a BIG HINT. Remember to act really surprised when you unwrap that book on Christmas morning.
  20. Not family, but nothing like having a lady t-bone my front end near the Domain today as I returned from the office holiday party. Apparently I caused confusion by using my turn signal. No injuries and she was terribly concerned and took full responsibility so about as easy of a bad situation as you can have. But now we'll get to spend the holidays wondering if they'll total my pristine car w/ less than 48K miles on it because the side airbags--but not steering wheel--deployed. I'd tie a good one on tonight but I've gotta work tomorrow.
  21. Thanks for the reminder. Will definitely watch this.
  22. Racist Daniel Figurelli must be running out of conspiracy theories to explain why Texas is drinking up aggy's milkshake today.
  23. You're basically paying thirty bucks to take e-waste off of RCA's hands.
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