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jimmyjazz

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by jimmyjazz

  1. Gosh, who could imagine that a private Christian for-profit university might have a shit-ton of "students"?
  2. Yeah, but I wanted to study engineering, not chemistry. Plus the chicks at UT were WAY WAY WAY better. Easy decision.
  3. Here's how I know UT wasn't elite back in the day: I got admitted undergrad AND grad. I got turned down by fucking Purdue (although they did say "hey, if you'd like to study chemistry, come on!". Uh, no.)
  4. I have this terrible Sophie's Choice going through my head -- would you want to be abused by Donald Trump or Steve Bannon?
  5. That's impossible, Greg Abbott assured us they won't quit until everyone is found.
  6. That's OK, she's 100% dead.
  7. Definitely.
  8. Just to put a finer point on the way Travis fills, using "Is The Lake Full Yet" numbers, it's currently at 77.1% capacity (by volume) but 91.8% full (by water level).
  9. I think there is a certain "morality" that supports persecution of minorities yet is repulsed by pedophilia. It's not moral at all, but they see it as such.
  10. Apparently you missed this part: "rural area outside Lansing and is a Michigan grad"
  11. I probably already posted this, but what the hell: Hey pretty baby, are you ready for me It's your good rockin' daddy down from Tennessee I'm just out of Austin bound for San Antone With the radio blastin' and the bird dog on There's a speed trap up ahead in Selma Town But no local yokel gonna shut me down 'Cause me and my boys got this rig unwound And we've come a thousand miles from a Guitar Town
  12. That wouldn't suck.
  13. Flashback to Erricky's conflicts with UTPD. Dumbasses.
  14. CostCo needs to switch to Sierra Nevada products. I'd let my wife go scour the store for an hour and I'd get my drink on.
  15. What about the Summer Hos?
  16. Let's be honest, getting flood insurance on a property NOT in the 100-year flood plain (like my house for years before it seemed pretty obvious I wouldn't experience a flood) is cheaper than getting flood insurance on a property IN a flood plain. These camp owners didn't necessarily need to be trying to ditch insurance altogether, but just make it less expensive.
  17. Y'all could screw up an orgy.
  18. Apparently at this point a "100 year" event is >50% likely in any given 10-15 year period.
  19. Uh, the Fightin' Texum Aggies beat BAMA in Tuscaloosa behind Johnny Football, ya stoopid sip. They were the only team to beat 'bama that year, making them the de facto co-champs of college football.
  20. I know where those 300,000 missing kids are. They're in the basement of Comet Ping Pong pizza parlor in Washington, DC. Don't give me the usual crap about there being no basement in that restaurant. Fake news.
  21. I had no idea Mick Taylor was still alive. I guess he's younger than Mick, Keef and Ronnie, though.
  22. Is that a tape measure she's flinging about? Did she just realize she's 32-30-32?
  23. Man, I just can't do Van Hagar.
  24. It's far from their best song, but this one is a wee bit iconic: EDIT: @locodos posted The Clash at the same time
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