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Player

Certifiably Surly
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  1. You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated our farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin ICEholes... like yourselves.
  2. Maybe you just need to read the room, and go fuck your own face. Cunt.
  3. Yo no soy marinero.
  4. Hullabaloo akbar
  5. I’ll be in MV over the 4th of July, and there’s a bunch of Jaws related stuff going on for the 50th anniversary of the film’s release, so here’s to swimmin with bow legged women.
  6. Him scolding her like a dog when she was whipping Keef’s ass was fantastic: “No! Nein!!! Heel!!!!!”
  7. Blue Bell RC is what they will want… But Mickey Mouse tank top with acid washed jorts and straw cowboy hat RC is what they deserve.
  8. Surely there’s a photo of Blue going all Andre Johnson on Finnegan by now. You’re holding out on us. Surely there’s a photo of Blue going all Andre Johnson on Finnegan by now. You’re holding out on us.
  9. Stay positive, MIA. They’ve made some incredible advancements in prosthetic arms. All kidding aside - MDA is an incredible facility filled with extremely sharp professionals. Get into ass kicking mode, and you got this.
  10. Yeah man, there’s a shit ton of lawyers flying down to El Salvador right now so they can sign up non-resident clients who are currently incarcerated in order to be able to represent them in highly lucrative defamation of character suits. Moron.
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