It's a commitment, alright. Every point, regardless of false premise, or not, also incorporates an obvious dig - usually regarding something that's entirely made up. So, in summary, entirely aggy.
The Longhorns, sitting at no. 2 in the Coaches’ Poll, (can't reference what we are in the AP, can you, aggy?) are continuing to make a lot of hay with that win over Michigan—one that looks like it will continue to sour with each passing week (then why did Texas get moved up to #1 after UTSA?), after the Wolverines beat Arkansas State by only ten.
The same old issues (umm, what?) keep cropping up. Quinn Ewers threw another extremely questionable interception shortly (maybe there was a reason?) before he exited the game with an abdominal strain (oh, yeah, like that one. He also passed for 185 yards and 2 TDs on 14-of-16 passing, but none of that matters). Arch Manning was able to find the talented Longhorn receivers against the UTSA defensive backs (no matter that plenty of the throws by Ewers and Manning were perfect dimes, but it was just the receivers) for the rest of the game, but rushing acumen on both sides of the ball hasn’t been there (bro, why? Texas passed for over 400 yards and rushed for almost 200. Did they need to run for more production in this one for some reason?).
The Longhorns allowed nearly a yard per carry more than the Roadrunners average, and they themselves earned their worst PPA/rush of the year at 0.028 (who invented this stat I've never seen carry weight and why does it matter?). For context, that’s worse than A&M against Notre Dame, Vanderbilt against Virginia Tech, or Kentucky against Georgia.
The Longhorns have been able to take advantage of overmatched teams (overmatched partly because Texas is so good) and inept offenses so far on defense, putting up impressive numbers in YPA allowed and defensive third down conversion rate. But when they face more capable offensive units, you can’t help but feel that their ineptitude in these facets will end up coming back to bite them (so, OP, is Texas impressive or inept? Because you just said each to describe the same on-field results).