Gnashing my teeth at times, but working through this same mindset and trying to embrace it. I've also got a work situation where biting my tongue is killing me - but pausing and doing nothing is being revealed as the right thing to do. I've got a former partner who is still active "around" the business.
From my perspective, he's a distraction, past his prime, and needs to turn loose of everything. I can justify (in my mind) that he needs to be told to fully retire, quit trying to help, and completely disengage. I can rationalize this by telling myself that I'm protecting our team, that he's wasting people's time, etc. and that it would be a service to everyone if I took action.
My sponsor has suggested (over and over) that I consider if I'm wrapping my "concern" for others around the real issue which is that he's not doing exactly what I want, when I want, and how I want. He asked whether I'd considered if this could be exactly the way my higher power wants this transition to play out and if I might learn some things by just sitting in it and not taking any action....am I being given a gift of growing in my capacity for patience, kindness, tolerance, etc. Am I treating what I consider to be his "mistakes" with the same attitude that I would extend to a sick friend? Will I be better off when my time comes to step back, if I've watched and learned from this situation?
All of that makes me want to puke, because damn it, I'm right.
However, for now - just for today, I'm praying for the willingness to do nothing and learn/grow through this. Not "fixing" shit my way is hard.