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Gil Bang

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Gil Bang

  1. Gil Bang

    overlanding

    you're a bit of a fat fuck, but I would have thought that you could fit in XL boxers. Maybe XXL
  2. Vic when his tinder date had too many drinks
  3. capri might be the most beautiful place on earth.
  4. In all fairness, Mr. Austin sounds like a good guy, but, the struggle is real.
  5. The answer is Chad Smith. He's getting a little long in the tooth, but the mofo has been laying it down for decades and still plays his ass off.
  6. the last blockbuster is in Bend, OR, which fits, because OP is about to Bend, OVER.
  7. "dream interpretation class"? Hey, I had a dream that I was getting a blowjob from Phoebe Cates...what does this mean?
  8. Mark Warner just said "my interactions with him have been fine" FWIW
  9. https://www.legalaffairsandtrials.com/p/new-us-attorney-in-la-moves-to-strike
  10. SAN FRANCISCO — A former California Highway Patrol captain has been indicted by a federal grand jury after he was accused of slapping a male flight attendant’s buttocks during a cross-country flight to Los Angeles, federal prosecutors said. It was the second time in recent weeks that allegations of sexual abuse during flights surfaced. The FBI warns the problem is growing, especially on long, overnight trips. Dennis Wally Woodbury, 49, of Azusa, California, was indicted Thursday on one count of abusive sexual contact. Woodbury had been drinking heavily and slapped the flight attendant as he walked passed him while collecting meal trays during an April 13 flight on JetBlue Airways from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to Los Angeles International Airport, the U.S. Attorney’s Office said. Prosecutors said Woodbury began acting inappropriately soon after boarding the plane and that before the plane left the gate, he showed another male flight attendant a photo of a dog that had pornographic images in the background and told him he should join him on a cruise. Later on the flight, Woodbury went to the plane’s front galley and pulled down his pants, exposing his genitals to the flight attendant, according to court documents. Soon afterward, Woodbury asked the same flight attendant for wine and after the crew member told him he could only have a nonalcoholic drink, Woodbury again pulled down his pants and exposed himself, prosecutors said. Woodbury, who was arrested after the plane landed in Los Angeles, made his initial federal court appearance last month and is free on $50,000 bond. He is scheduled to be arraigned on May 12. A phone listed for Woodbury was disconnected. His attorney didn’t immediately respond to an email from The Associated Press seeking comment.
  11. as a commercial lender, we actually wrote off a couple of loans rather than foreclose on the real estate, because of the environmental risk. I'm talking bad shit where the loans should have never been made, like chrome plating shops and car battery recycling businesses.
  12. When my business travel took me into some shitty town at 9PM on a weeknight, seeing a Chili's sign was a good thing. I knew that I could get a cold beer and a decent burger, and didn't have to try some local hit-or-miss greasy spoon.
  13. where is this cunt buried? I need to take a taco bell dump on her grave. It just occurred to me that she's probably buried next to the dead dogs at Kyle Field.
  14. I assume that they'll fly in Apaches, and my kid can always use more hours in his logbook, so...
  15. BTW: River Plate
  16. we did the cemetery thing, and I drank a shitload of Zapata
  17. came here to post this. And of course, I'm sending it to the handful of Catholic trumpkins that I know. I can't wait to see how they pretzel themselves to defend this.
  18. yeah...this is it. If you're smart enough for lawyering, you can handle this minor project. Just remember not to use dissimilar metals. If the fittings are iron, stay with iron, if brass, stay with brass, etc. Check for leaks with soapy water. Check again tomorrow.
  19. This idea is terrible. It wouldn't be so bad if it were an office building, but a construction yard? What if your buyer starts dumping toxins on the property? Starts storing old tires? Starts burying random shit? 12% isn't enough security. No way, no how.
  20. The mysterious “Delco Pooper” was identified and charged Thursday with indecent exposure and related offenses. She is accused of defecating on a car hood during a dispute with another driver this week in Prospect Park. Christina Marie Solometo, 44, of the 700 block of East Chester Pike in Ridley Park, is also charged with disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, harassment and depositing waste on the highway for the Tuesday incident at the corner of 4th and Madison avenues. Video of the incident shot by a bystander took the internet by storm Wednesday, even appearing on TMZ. The video shows a woman exit a vehicle apparently pantsless, move to the front of another person’s car stopped behind her, sit for a second on the victim’s vehicle hood and then return to the sedan flashing a smile as the other driver shouts at her. Left behind on the hood is a brownish glop. According to an affidavit of probable cause for Solometo’s arrest written by Prospect Park Police Sgt. Henry O’Neill: Officer Nicholas Denton was made aware of the video Wednesday. Police identified the offending stain as “an accumulation of liquefied human feces.” The person who deposited it drove away on 4th Avenue into Ridley Township. Denton got the original video from the person who shot it and determined it was captured at 5:16 p.m. O’Neill quickly identified Solometo as a suspect. He attempted to reach her using various phone numbers listed for her and family members. Solometo returned a call to O’Neill from a number he had contacted 20 minutes earlier. Solometo asked for O’Neill by name when he answered and said she had a “good idea” why he was trying to reach her. She said she did not want to come to the police station to talk about it because she does not really like the police but would tell him what happened over the phone. Solometo said she was heading north on Lincoln Avenue and was the fifth car in line to turn left at the traffic light onto 4th Avenue. Three cars went through on the green arrow, she said, but the fourth, a silver sedan, did not move. Solometo began honking, and the driver of the other vehicle began mocking her in the rear-view mirror. She said she was frustrated with the other driver and having stomach issues, so she pulled around the silver sedan and turned left. Solometo said she continued toward Madison on 4th when she noticed the other vehicle appeared to be following her. She said she stopped her vehicle and exited, then had an exchange with the other driver. “Solometo said as she was walking back to her car, the driver of the silver sedan called her a (insulting name), which made her angry,” according to the affidavit. “Solometo said, ‘I wanted to punch her in the face, but I pooped on her car instead and went home.’” On Thursday O’Neill and Prospect Park Police Chief Dave Madonna went to her Chester Pike address later to discuss the matter further, and she confirmed the details from the earlier conversation. “It was a clean poop,” she added at that time. “I didn’t even have to wipe.” Madonna said Solometo was taken into custody at that time. In video of her arrest posted online Thursday night, she tells one person, “I have a sickness.” The victim car was being cleaned and detailed Thursday, according to O’Neill. A Facebook page believed to be linked to Solometo had posted Wednesday that it was not her in the video. That post said she got off work to 300 texts, 500 Facebook messages, police calling her and 100 tags. “Stop sending this to me stop tagging me, that was not me !! It’s up my alley but i cant claim this Delco fame…” the post said. Madonna said that to the best of his knowledge, that account does belong to Solometo. Solometo was preliminarily arraigned Thursday night before Magisterial District Judge George Dawson and taken to the county jail after failing to post 10% of $10,000 bail. Online court records indicated she had posted $1,000 cash bail Friday. Solometo is scheduled for a preliminary hearing May 19 before District Judge Mary Hopper. The case has been assigned to Assistant District Attorney Bryan Barth. No defense attorney was listed on online court records Friday morning. Originally Published: May 1, 2025 at 6:22 PM EDT
  21. the album should have been called "Cock"
  22. vagina poosey
  23. better than just bringing donuts
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