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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Something you do for one, you have to do for the next thousand who ask. Another thing a rookie teacher will learn is that students you helped will Stab You In The Back by telling other professors or admin, often in an aggressive way, that you bent a rule so why won't they. Wormy little fuckers. I did allow one student from my French class to disappear with full credit, because she was going to France for a month with her mom and daughter after her husband had moved in with his mistress. It was Mexico, and I felt that she needed a break. Veterans, especially combat veterans get extra slack in my classes. They seldom need it, but if they do, screw the rules. Also, I think every SLO (Student Learning Outcome) I ever wrote has been an obvious fake. But they all made Admin happy.
  2. They're cheating the fuck away no matter what, giving one exam just makes it easy. Check into Chegg, it's full of everybody's tests. Mrs. Canecutter uses a program that spits out similar chemistry problems but they all have different variables. She dances on their academic graves when they copy answers from the wrong test. Once, early in my first Hell Job (teaching 9th graders with no training) I laid a whammy on their cheating ways. I gave them a multiple-choice test that appeared to be two versions- one had a cartoon dog at the top, the other had a cartoon flower. There were actually 4 versions that I had collated so when I handed them out, nobody had the same version as anybody near them. All answers were similar length. Told em not to copy. BWAHAHAHAHAH Got back A's, B's, and a shit-load of low F's. "Why did I get it wrong when Derek got it right?" "You had two different answers. Let's go over why this answer was the one." Did the same thing a couple of times more until they learned that Mr. Canecutter was evil and crazy. Then I would just make one version, but with 4 different pictures at the top. Maybe somebody clued in. But that's OK, they were thinking.
  3. Got me an appointment with the brain zapper tomorrow. I am ready to go, I'd push the button myself if I could. Bolt me in, fire up the Saturn V. In more mundane activities, I got some free pills from CVS this morning. I always have them print out that long receipt full of Confederate money, and I hit a lucky streak and won 10 free Payday fun-size bars at not even a one cent cost to me. So I gave half of them to the pharmacy crew. You never know if they can hit that thing just right to make it happen again.
  4. I did that with a couple of third-year language classes. If you are going to make Spanish boring, I'll just go study Arabic on my own in the library. My worst case was some Spanish Lit class taught by a Cuban Gentleman who'd been knocked down in the world getting away from Castro. I actually liked the dude, but it was early in the morning, the room was cold, the girls were unattractive, and we just took down notes and I didn't fucking FEEL like it, OK? So I disappeared. Dude thought I had died when I showed up for the Midterm. There was no attendance policy, I had checked. I had done a color-coded study guide that let me ace it. Next class, even though I made an A, he informed me that he couldn't give me better than a B when all these soggy dumbasses (my words not his) had been dragging in regularly. IDReallyGAF, B's get degrees, and I had busted the code. So I dragged in a few more times, all about respect yo. Maybe got a B after all. But I asked myself, Señor Cubanismo de Habana, I show up for you, doing an excellent imitation of how Cubans do School, and you're gonna go all Anglo-Saxon on me? I wake up screamin like I'm back over there.
  5. And they'll come back with their hot teacher and some baguettes on the back.
  6. May I suggest leaving school-age children in Europe for their education? They'll be able to skip all the want, it all comes down to one big exam instead of constant busy work. Plus, they'll learn how to fight.
  7. Professor Taco Bell kicks ass and takes names.
  8. White Supremacist, huh? He got some bad branding advice-- he could have been a big deal in the Vampire cosplay world.
  9. My NSF course, by the end they had us riding around like trained circus animals doing circus tricks. Except for the dudes who didn't listen. They got let go. One of their techniques saved me from a bingle the very day after the course.
  10. If she's really rich, why doesn't she have live-in servants to prepare her something better than Instacart ground-beef Tex-Mex? #30000DollarHeiress
  11. Mama take de live crawdad, th'ow it in a pot o' bawlin wawta.
  12. Missed a great opportunity to give it a Millennium Falcon dash-board rap.
  13. I do. They seem quite competent, unlike Hero Driver of story. Go hold him, comfort him, whisper words of managerial wisdom a hair's breath away from his sweaty ear-lobe.
  14. We don't order shitty food from guys who can't get real jobs, Pussy McPussins.
  15. What makes you think the guy is a rapper? Maybe he just naturally rhymes.
  16. I'm mission-oriented but I'm gonna need more meth.
  17. What if they feel that they cannot raise their sword against their fellow Californians?
  18. So if you tell em you're a meth-head, the Army promotes you straight up to Captain? Dammit dammit dammit why didn't I ever know this stuff.
  19. The Great Alabama Coin Recon Recap Apologies to Hank Williams Sr. and his friends and family. He did not pass away on US 31 headed to Nashville. He was way up in the East Tennessee-Bristol VA area, so I am guessing US 11 but don't know. Maybe US 31 was for happier times because it was the main route from his home-base in Montgomery to Nashville. In his own precious-metal fashion, Hank returned in a silver coffin to his mother's boarding house in Montgomery for what may have been the largest funeral in the state before or since. My dad, a fan, was there. "I saw him on the stage and in the casket." The metal all weighed out to proper specs, and I don't see any reason to worry about that. It brightened up nicely when I did the baking-soda-aluminum-foil-and-hot-water trick, a non-abrasive non-toxic way to transfer tarnish away. If you want a demo on how to do it, ask and I will show. The Samurai is the sort of thing I used to flog on eBay for about double spot, mainly just to drive views to the hundreds of other collectibles I had listed. But by itself it would hardly be worth it even if I got 40 bucks, with fees and such it might be $5 profit for an hour's work. I'll throw it in a drawer and let my son sell it to get whatever he wants one day. Buffalo really brightened up, Onza is spectacular and brings me joy. Faux-Peace-Dollar is still fugly, it'll be the first to sell if I need some cash. 90% is just 90%, bless its heart. I guess you'd still get Secret Service protection if somebody tried to make fakes.
  20. It was fun. I realized that I'd had weeks and weeks of "work days," even when I don't work all that hard. It was good to have a dedicated fun day. Plus there's just no substitute for getting out and seeing stuff in person.
  21. They tried to turn their own lack of craftmanship into anger at you. You could have gone away, or just stopped laughing, and their shitty flag rack would still be a shitty flag rack. But it's good that you laughed.
  22. Saw in the NYT this morning, Brett Stephens mentioned that maybe the penalty judgement would "knock the fake out of Lake." I laughed. But no. It won't. It can't. She could maybe shift into an atonement grift, but it'll still be a grift.
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