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Dnaguy

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Dnaguy

  1. BYU team in in 2035:
  2. In the 90’s we had Fellowship of Christian Athletes and Young Life. Super fucking lame.
  3. Dystopian books we had to read in school like 1984 always seemed so weird to me at the time. Doublethink and Newspeak seemed like ridiculous concepts. How would that even work? How can you get society to accept conflicting ideas as both true? How can we dumb shit down so much that absolute falsehoods can be accepted at face value? That can’t happen. But here we fucking are….. Indeed @Brisketexan What a time to be alive.
  4. Getting involved in hyper local quasi political institutions isn’t the sexiness that Hollywood portrays in the… nm.
  5. Background: I serve on my small city’s water advisory board. Theres only two folks on this thing that don’t have at least one foot in the grave. Story: Of course the fires and water system issues come up at our last meeting it isn’t crazy how social media has highjacked society. These fuckers were convinced that California was turning away fire trucks from Oregon bc they didn’t pass CA’s emissions testing. “No, it’s real. I talked with my friend in LA that confirmed it.” Then I had to hear the chairman go on and on about how climate change isn’t real and that the earth goes through heat and cooling cycles all the time right before we discuss the docket item of …….. buying more water rights bc of the prolonged drought conditions we feel aren’t going away! You can’t make this shit up…. Or I guess you can bc people will believe anything.
  6. Taco Bell: It’s like snake venom for the anus. Live mas indeed.
  7. Hemorrhage, Paralysis, and Renal Failure. Jesus I must have been bit by one of these fuckers on Friday.
  8. We can all shit on Ana without bringing early 90’s Russian synth-pop into the fold. A true art form that rose from the ashes of communism that ushered in a proto democratic feeling to a populace hungry for the Pepsi Cola equivalent of pop music. No need for this monumental leap in musicality to catch strays here.
  9. Yikes But having ridden the Istanbul light rail, I can’t imagine it’s any worse than the smell emanating from the men on that tram. That BO felt as if my olfactory system was being gang raped by a legion of janissary.
  10. People just like to bitch. The thing is, if you really feel that it’s unfair then just find a way to use something and game it. I thought it was a great idea and yet my morals lapsed too. After a considerable monthly toll bill for said tolls, I realized that you could just take Hov side of the HOT lanes at every booth. There was no enforcement mechanism other than self-policing and honesty. Welp, $9 / day in rush hour tolls strains even the most honest of us all. Sorry if they do enforce it now. It was shit heads like me that ruined it for the rest of you.
  11. A mouth’s a mouth. -Futureman
  12. Has he ever witnessed a win? Jesus Christ.
  13. I’m not saying NO wives….. but consider the circumstances: 1.) Having 4 kids usually implies marriage 2.) Married women are notorious for ceasing the act of fellatio 3.) Even if fellatio is performed it’s rarely to completion as said fellator bc it transpires in the throws of sexual intercourse 4.) Having 4 kids would generally require considerable planning which would mean you’re planning on having kids which means dropping a load p in v style. 5.) Even if they were an accident, you’re engaging in p in v at the time. It’s not as if you were getting blown, she sneezed while you ejac’ed, and your load fell in her vagina 6.) Having 4 children implies likely a time frame of at least roughly 8 years of baby and pregnancy. Thats a lot of stress and time that takes away from anyone’s giving nature. Without the incentive of securing a mate because she’s already married, there’s no motivation for blowies.
  14. Are they all from different guys? Bc there’s no chance in hell the same guy was getting head over the time it would take to conceive 4 children.
  15. Hitters would kill for that average. That’s why they call Trump The Greatest Shitter Who Ever Lived
  16. Aller prematurely ejaculates.
  17. The last one was and we saw the result. It probably was the most sound strategy tbh.
  18. A key component of the genius that is Sark is his insistence to throw it to the ….. checks notes …. Wide receivers. James Franklin could take some pointers on this cutting edge offensive philosophy .
  19. It was so bad that I thought I drank too much and couldn’t read the game clock or that the sound wasn’t synched correctly. There was also that weird comment about ND already being in field goal range when the ball was on the 40 or 45 on that final possession. I mean, a 58-63 yard field goals are attempted…. Just not usually in the college game and not usually with like a minute left.
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