I was thinking about this the other day.
Am I bitter? Why do I feel more unhappy today than say 10 years ago… other than because of my back.
The answer came to me.
See postulate that we all have a reservoir of malice. Some have a larger ones or small ones and but we all carry a finite amount.
At one point in my life; my entire reserve could have been directed at a guy like LG. Some real vitriol.
But see, we’ve entered into an era of Piece of shit- inflation where entire movements of POS’s are organized by social media and purposeful actors.
So I no longer hate ole Ladybugs. I actually have less hate in my heart for specific individuals. But it’s not because he’s less shitty or I’ve found Jesus.
Nope, it’s because so many completely craven sociopaths now walk among us with no shame that I just can’t hate an individual enough to register.
My hate is spread so thin it almost doesn’t register to the naked eye
You’d think an Abbott or Trump or Paxton’s absolute douche canoe cruelty would round up to some sort of visceral hate. Yet no. There’s just too many fermenting bags of fecal laced horse semen walking amongst us that I’m almost zen.
Or maybe that’s nihilism?
When your denominator in your hate fractions becomes so great that you effectively dealing with zero.
So I’m nihilistic, not because I hate less !but only because I just hate so many more things and people.