Some of my favorites...
"Is Raffi for stoners?"
"I can't do that, not with Greg breathing down my throat."
"I went dumpster diving again. There were no bricks, but there were fenceplanks and that's what you make those orodomic (adirondack) chairs from."
"Sometimes I laugh myself hard."
JP - We had a "potluck" (in air qoutes)PB - Why the quotes?JP - Cause there was no pot or luck
"My ex wife once sent me a birthday cake at work. I put it in the break room so anybody could get a piece. Later I remembered she had poisoned me before."
Adam: "Jimmy have you seen people fishing with drones?"
Jimmy: "I seen a lot of things. (long pause) Jesus. I've seen things."
"You know what bugs me about the Walking Dead show? Their shoe laces are always tied. No zombie is gonna bother tying a shoe. If you can't get that right how I can I trust anything you show me about zombies?"
"You wanna know about Bangkok, I'll tell you about about Bangkok."
(ponders for a few seconds)
"Actually, I better not."
"It's not unusual to pee yourself on long car rides. That's why I carry extra underwear in the trunk."
"I'm sitting in my deer blind watching some raccoons. Drinking. Vaping. Look up, no more coons. Turn around, there's a coon in there with me so I shot it with my crossbow. I'm not going to generally advise you to shoot a crossbow inside a blind but if given the choice of life or death by coon, Jimmy chooses life. Every. God. Damn. Time."
And these are just quotes through October of 2016.