Went through similar shit with son who ended up at WP, but it was in the back half of his sophomore year. Finally after his mom reaming his ass on the regular; I looked at him and asked him if he was going to be able to live with himself if he gave up on what his potential was and just settled for local state school and going through the motions. I reminded him of what he had achieved to date, which was substantial. I reminded him that he didn't like to work near as much as I do and reminded him that everything we had came the hard way. Maybe that isn't applicable to everyone, I know it is not; but when I asked him if he could live with settling- if he thought it'd be cool when he was in his mid 40's, with kids of his own; could he look that guy in the mirror and be happy with what he did with the opportunities he had for college.- he wasn't having THAT!!!
Luckily, the work piece scared the hell outta him, and granted, he's since worked his everlovin ass off; but not necessarily like what he saw his mom and dad do throughout his childhood. The regret piece also piqued his mind. I was like, "you gotta do it because YOU want to do it, not us; but just the same- is 45 year old you gonna be able to live with giving up on some great opportunities of a lifetime?"
He could have blown me off and said fuck it, like many kids do; but credit to him, he got it in gear and applied himself on those apps and the processes; as well as his school work. His mom almost killed him because he wouldn't do his daily work. I just told him, stop pissing her off- and oh yeah, when you're 45 and we're at Thanksgiving dinner, I don't want to hear a fucking peep about about how you COULD have gone to West Point...
It was a shot in the dark. Luckily it landed.
Hang in there. All you can do is communicate...and/ or kill them.