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Tired Horn

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Everything posted by Tired Horn

  1. "Texas A&M deserves better." No, it doesn't. It really doesn't. Now gather up your Aggie Nation, your Aggie Network, your Aggie ring, and any other cult memorabilia you may have, and don't let the door hit your whiny ass on your way out.
  2. Aggie--getting under people's skin with their potential for 84 years. How on brand.
  3. Because your heart is in the right place.
  4. I think their end game is to finally unleash the 12th man on us. They'll be driven to rapturous fury by the dug-up bones of E. King Gill mounted on the sidelines.
  5. Maybe Elko can add a few more pounds and give it a go.
  6. If they could even take baby steps. Like say, maybe, not giving up Yell Practice all at once, but doing away with the cringingly unfunny "comedy" routines by the stupid yell leaders. Or just cool it about the Aggie Ring and all it supposedly entails, basically stop coming across as a bunch of wannabe secret society groupies. And maybe they could just tell the dead dogs how the games turned out at the end, instead of, you know, the scoreboard outside. Baby steps. Before you know it, maybe they'd just have a normal ROTC program like the rest of the world.
  7. What was this random bit of psychosis about?
  8. But on the positive side, they are signing guys who kind'a. sort'a, maybe want to be Ags (unless a better offer surfaces--god, are you there, please let a better offer surface). I talked to a maroon kool-aid swilling idiot who assured me Elko was a Portal Master who was loading up A&M with diamonds in the rough. Jesus. I didn't have the heart to even engage with that idiot, just wished him good luck on that.
  9. Well, everyone knows the Station is lit. What could Los Angeles possibly have to compare? Hell, the City of Angels doesn't even have yell leaders.
  10. I don't necessarily disagree, but suppose you'd made the tragic. youthful mistake of taking a bag to star in Jimbo Baggins Hobbit offense and its promises of greatness, only to find yourself becoming a fleet-footed Gollum riding a 12-12 wave in fucking College Fucking Station of all places, you'd probably love football a lot less, too.
  11. You forgot "three star grinder" and "guys who want to be at A&M."
  12. After The Elk takes them down to Junction for the summer.
  13. Cue Vince Lombardi's line about teams saying they were only a few plays away: "That's just how losers talk."
  14. What summed up his tenure to me is that he never had a winning record. And we're not talking 11-1 or 10-2 here. Not one lousy 7-5 season in his whole tenure. He's the only Texas coach in my lifetime who can claim that distinction.
  15. But you go to admit, The Elk sounds cooler than The Stoop.
  16. The Elk should make it to three years on that nickname alone. Aggy loves nicknames.
  17. So basically, everyone but the terminally stupid needs a bag.
  18. Who puts themselves in this situation? Seriously. It's just obviously a stupid idea to have as interim coach for your bowl game a guy who has already been hired by someone else. He quite rightly is putting his future employer over his rump time with you. And then the Aggies start to complain about ethics? Jesus, Mary and Joseph. If you're going to be a chump, just be a chump. Don't advertise it.
  19. Maalik has to look out for himself first. He's not going to beat out Arch next year, either for starter or second string if Quinn returns. It's too bad all these kids can't realize their dreams, and I wish him the best of luck.
  20. Yeah, but Old Dominion sounds like it might be tradition-laden, so they probably figured he checks the all-important "Gets Aggy" box. That, and being desperate, too. They actually seem to be convincing themselves they'll get an entirely new, SEC champion team out of the portal.
  21. Well, at least a real jihad, however misguided it may be, is based on something other than a football game combined with a deeply in the closet, homoerotic affinity for weirdos dressed up like milkmen. So, I don't know exactly what you'd call A&M's ongoing struggle with reality. Maybe a psychotic break? Decompensation? Tragically laughable?
  22. But what we don't understand is that Elko "gets A&M." (God help him.)
  23. That last parenthetical succinctly explains what is otherwise inexplicable.
  24. The Hall of Champions is my personal favorite. Although it really should have Jimbo's national championship plaque enshrined with the date now forever blank.
  25. Just clearing out the chaff so the gold can shine. Advantage Aggie... Texas A&M--84 years of just enough occasional semi-success to keep the witless rubes in line, keep fucking backwards hillbilly shit like Yell Practice alive, and have them pining for half-ass, pagan acts of arson that probably won't kill them in any given year.
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