Everything posted by Tired Horn
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2025 Peach Bowl: CFP QF - Texas vs. Arizona State - 12pm on ESPN
Sooner or later, fucking around on offense like we do will cost you.
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2026: The World's Drunkest Elk
Yeah, it's nothing particularly special in the inland valley, but I'd still take that over BCS.
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2026: The World's Drunkest Elk
I live in California. There is no way I would spend any four years of my life in Bryan/College Station, let alone those from 18 to 22. As my father said about his freshman year at A&M: "The choice was simple--blow the escape valve to Austin or spend the rest of my life knowing I was pathetic."
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2026: The World's Drunkest Elk
They didn't lose. They never lose. They just ran out of time... and dignity, and self-respect, and their psychosis meds. Anyone got a fucking horse laugh? Chiffity, chiffity, chiff-chaff! Riff-raff! Chiff-chaff! What a bunch of idiots.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
Sadly, though, deaths from collapsing structures then being at two events, it would probably just become the latest Aggie tradition.
- 2024 CFP Playoffs Round 1: Texas vs. Clemson - 3:00pm on TNT
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
A big part of the Aggie weirdness is the belief that their "culture" is elite. That's why they can't deal with the reality of their mediocrity. The truth is that all of their vaunted traditions are just psycho-sexual hand me downs from the fucking weirdos who populated A&M when it was an all-male institution. Forget Sul Ross. They should have a statue of John Wayne Gacy.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
"He's a good kid that wanted it to work out at Tech badly." So, he's just not very bright, huh? I guess I'll be charitable and call him geographically naive. Does that NIL include the cost of therapy sessions for being at College Station?
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
Well, Norman is close to being the garden spot of fucking Oklahoma. My kids have never been to Oklahoma, but they all know the answer to this: "Why doesn't Texas fall into the Gulf of Mexico?" BECAUSE OKLAHOMA SUCKS! Simple truths, man, simple truths.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
Spot fucking on. Tech is a "never was and never will be." I grew up in West Texas, and there is no way on God's green Earth (which doesn't include Lubbock, at least for the green part) I would have gone to Tech, True stories: 1. My freshman year at UT, Sport's Illustrated named Tech the "Campus most resembling a Federal Penitentiary." 2. My kids were raised in the California Bay Area. Whenever they complained about something, I used to tell them "Look, Daddy was raised in a post-Apocalyptic industrial wasteland. I don't want to hear it."
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
Well, in all fairness, not visiting College Station probably does increase their chances with a recruit.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
"For decades now we've kept our program in good enough shape most years to qualify for the elite." ???????? In what universe is that statement true?
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Jimbo 2022: Balls To The Face
It's A&M, remember? They're not gone. They just ran out of fucks to give.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
I think they hate the place, want more money/playing time, hate the coaches/situation, and really, really hate the fucking place. Oh, and they don't give a shit about the 12th man, either. In ye olden days, my father spent his freshman year at A&M. He used to tell us about the day a rabid Corps turd started screaming at him "it's time to decide if you're one of us or not?" He transferred to UT, never looked back, and said that was one of the best decisions he ever made.
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Quinn "La Joya" Ewers - The Man The Myth The Mullet, Now Starting for the Miami Dolphins
That's what I think people get so frustrated about. At times, Quinn really looks the part of a Heisman QB. Other times he doesn't. He just has limitations. He still has done a lot for this program,, which deserves respect.
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Jimbo 2022: Balls To The Face
Each failure is not independent. They have common causal factors: (1) Jimbo's well-known penchant for indifferent offensive line play; (2) a comically stale offensive identity; (3) liberal inclusion of character risks; (4) poor roster management; (5) prison-like campus architecture; (6) teenagers deposited into a culture resistant to, shall we say, normality; and (7) possibly traumatized by a jizz jar. Still, the 2022 class did collapse like a bonfire. It's actually impressive in its own fucked up way.
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Jimbo 2022: Balls To The Face
I think you should quit while you're behind.
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Jimbo 2022: Balls To The Face
The only important thing is that Aggie fucked up and humiliated themselves in epic fashion, proving that perhaps there is a God with a just and provident plan. Or at least a sense of humor.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
The only thing Elko is boxing Sark out of is the Golden Corral buffet.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
Well, something's got to fill that Hall of Champions, and the Wiley Coyote collection was getting embarrassing.
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
But he sure as hell has the stomach for it.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
They believe their own shit. They are salt-of-the-earth, homespun, honest folk. God's children. Austin is a den of iniquity populated by scum without honor. So, psychologically, they have to be better than us. Their whole worldview demands it. They have to have tried harder than us, we have to have cheated if we beat them, and there have to be conspiracies holding back their innate greatness. Otherwise, they're just a bunch of dumb rubes that everyone laughs at. It's a religious mentality built on absolutely nothing.
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2025 EDGE Lance Jackson
I think we should since Vince is no longer eligible.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2025: Duck Around and Find Out
A little sensitive, don't you think? Have a nice cookie and relax.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
But what about our wholesome, God-fearing, deeply strange, and cringy Yell Leaders? And our dog cemetery? And our collection of ridiculous, pre-World War II, mandatory cheers? Not to mention the opportunity to play soldier on a campus of Brutalist architecture that would embarrass a hard-core Soviet. And the elephant walk? For God's sake, the fucking elephant walk! And squeezing your left nut? How can all that not speak to the kids off today? Just you wait you degenerate Sips. The sleeping giant has awakened (clap harder all you lousy 2 percenters). Texas A&M has a great future and always will have.